I have been told I am a "good listener". I guess that's true, at least some of the time. However, after being a mom for 21 years, I have perfected the art of tuning out my children. Here is a conversation that took place yesterday while I was doing some "very important things" on the computer.
Evan: Mom
Me: no response
Evan: Mom!
Me: no answer
Evan: Mom, I'm trying to tell you something!
Me: Okay, I'm listening.
Evan: See . . .
Me: Not really, I was just kidding.
Evan: Mom!!
Do I get points for being honest?! In my defense, I knew that Evan was just trying to tell me that he wanted me to get off the computer so he could use it.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Sweet (Shakespeare) Sunday
Several years ago I read and watched Shakespeare's Two Gentlemen of Verona for the first time. Then my son Aaron was cast as Proteus in the play. Proteus is the guy who betrays his true love, manipulates his best friend, and then he tries to force himself on his best friend's girl. What a jerk! I saw Proteus as a very evil character.
Early this year, we decided to perform Two Gentlemen with our Classical Acting troupe. Since I would be directing, I spent hours reading and watching the play. I came to realize that Proteus isn't really evil; he is a self-centered teenager. He wants what he wants and isn't thinking of anyone else. It made even more sense when I realized that all four lovers in the play are immature and more like teenagers than adults.
Whenever I direct a Shakespeare play, there is a moment of epiphany--a time when I suddenly realize, "Oh that's what this play is really about!" But that moment always catches me by surprise. This year it was quite late in the process, just a few days before our performances.
The play ends rather abruptly. Proteus is about to force himself on Silvia, who has refused his advances. Fortunately, he is stopped by Valentine, who is his best friend and Silvia's fiance. Proteus apologizes immediately and just as quickly Valentine forgives him.
The play ends in one big love-and-forgiveness-fest!
Julia forgives her lover Proteus, even though she has witnessed all of his terrible behavior.
The Duke forgives Valentine for his deceit and trying to elope with his daughter.
Silvia forgives both Proteus (for his attack) and Valentine (for offering to give her up).
The Duke even forgives the outlaws and pardons them.
Initially, I thought it was ridiculous, even wrong, that everyone in this play is so forgiving. Then it hit me. That's the point! The message of this play is to forgive quickly and love freely.
Actually, that's the point of our life on earth!
Dallin H. Oaks explained it this way:
Early this year, we decided to perform Two Gentlemen with our Classical Acting troupe. Since I would be directing, I spent hours reading and watching the play. I came to realize that Proteus isn't really evil; he is a self-centered teenager. He wants what he wants and isn't thinking of anyone else. It made even more sense when I realized that all four lovers in the play are immature and more like teenagers than adults.
Whenever I direct a Shakespeare play, there is a moment of epiphany--a time when I suddenly realize, "Oh that's what this play is really about!" But that moment always catches me by surprise. This year it was quite late in the process, just a few days before our performances.
The play ends rather abruptly. Proteus is about to force himself on Silvia, who has refused his advances. Fortunately, he is stopped by Valentine, who is his best friend and Silvia's fiance. Proteus apologizes immediately and just as quickly Valentine forgives him.
The play ends in one big love-and-forgiveness-fest!
Julia forgives her lover Proteus, even though she has witnessed all of his terrible behavior.
The Duke forgives Valentine for his deceit and trying to elope with his daughter.
Silvia forgives both Proteus (for his attack) and Valentine (for offering to give her up).
The Duke even forgives the outlaws and pardons them.
Initially, I thought it was ridiculous, even wrong, that everyone in this play is so forgiving. Then it hit me. That's the point! The message of this play is to forgive quickly and love freely.
Actually, that's the point of our life on earth!
Dallin H. Oaks explained it this way:
"To achieve our eternal destiny, we will desire and work for the qualities required to become an eternal being. For example, eternal beings forgive all who have wronged them. They put the welfare of others ahead of themselves. And they love all of God’s children.
If this seems too difficult—and surely it is not easy for any of us—then we should begin with a desire for such qualities and call upon our loving Heavenly Father for help with our feelings." (Desire, April 2011 General Conference)
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Ouch!
When Ryan was a little boy he loved to catch bees with his bare hands. I warned him repeatedly that he might get stung, but it never seemed to bother him.
Evan on the other hand, seems to attract angry bees. He has been stung many times and he is allergic to the stings. He swells up horribly. Fortunately it is not systemic, but the local swelling is very painful. The doctors haven't been very helpful expect to say, "Get the stinger out immediately."
Then there's me. In all of my 44 years, I have never been stung by a bee. Until yesterday. I was sitting in a lounge chair reading when I felt a tickle on my neck. I reached up to brush whatever-it-was away, when suddenly I felt the sting. Even worse, the bee was buzzing around inside my shirt. I told Marianne to pull out the stinger while I extricated the bee from my chest.
The worst part of the whole experience was when I realized that I may have brought it upon myself. Why? Well, the book I was reading is titled . . .
Photo by: Larry Crowhurst/Oxford Scientific Films
Evan on the other hand, seems to attract angry bees. He has been stung many times and he is allergic to the stings. He swells up horribly. Fortunately it is not systemic, but the local swelling is very painful. The doctors haven't been very helpful expect to say, "Get the stinger out immediately."
Then there's me. In all of my 44 years, I have never been stung by a bee. Until yesterday. I was sitting in a lounge chair reading when I felt a tickle on my neck. I reached up to brush whatever-it-was away, when suddenly I felt the sting. Even worse, the bee was buzzing around inside my shirt. I told Marianne to pull out the stinger while I extricated the bee from my chest.
The worst part of the whole experience was when I realized that I may have brought it upon myself. Why? Well, the book I was reading is titled . . .
Photo by: Larry Crowhurst/Oxford Scientific Films. . . The Secret Life of Bees
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Blast From the Past
Year: 1984 Location: T-203, Deseret Towers in Provo, Utah
Favorites: Sweaters, Cabbage Patch Dolls, White Shoulders perfume, artwork by Bessie Pease Gutmann, getting a perm every 6-8 weeks, trips to Arches National Park and Mexico with my Colloquium class, edited movies at Varsity Theater
Claims to Fame: I had a computer (!) and a toolbox in my dorm room
When I arrived for freshman orientation at BYU, I had no idea who my roommate would be. She turned out to be a friendly, outgoing girl from Georgia. We became good friends and I had a blast my freshman year at college. Tammy and I were close during all our years at BYU and later were bridesmaids for each other. We both have 3 boys and 1 girl and our daughters are the same age and share a name. Last year both of us lost a parent. Her father died in June and my mom passed away in October. So much has changed over the years, but when Tammy and I get together she is still the same great friend you see in the picture below! She also happens to have a birthday this week and I want to wish Tammy a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Love you!
I know some people have horror stories about their college roommates, but I will always be grateful for the blessing I received when I walked into that dorm room so many years ago.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Six Months
Today marks six months since my Mom passed away. Of course I think of her and miss her every day. During this grieving process I have learned something important. Some things are harder to mourn than others.
Now I'm not trying to compare trials or say "my trial is easier (or harder) than yours". The adversities we go through impact each of us differently. You can't really compare them or rank them.
But I will say this: People expect you to be sad when someone you love passes away. They may not respond perfectly, but they are generally understanding and thoughtful. You can express your sadness and friends will listen.
With other trials it may be more difficult to mourn. Sometimes we can't discuss them openly because we have to respect the privacy of others. Sometimes the trial involves someone's weakness or even sinfulness. We can't talk about the situation openly even if we feel the need. In some situations, people are judgmental of choices that have been made or the way we are dealing with a trial. This makes it hard to grieve and heal.
I am grateful that I have been able to mourn the loss of my mother by talking and crying with friends and family. I am thankful to be able to write about my mom and share my feelings on my blog.
But I know that many people are suffering, mourning and grieving in relative silence. Other people don't realize the pain they are suffering. Friends likely don't understand why they are grouchy or unreliable or distant. I hope that I can do a better job of recognizing unspoken needs in those around me. I pray that all of us can be patient with friends, family and even strangers who may be going through "invisible" trials.
Henry B. Eyring said, "All of us will be tested. And all of us need true friends to love us, to listen to us, to show us the way, and to testify of truth to us."
Click HERE to learn more about this painting by Diego Rivera
and how it relates to the burdens we bear.
Now I'm not trying to compare trials or say "my trial is easier (or harder) than yours". The adversities we go through impact each of us differently. You can't really compare them or rank them.
But I will say this: People expect you to be sad when someone you love passes away. They may not respond perfectly, but they are generally understanding and thoughtful. You can express your sadness and friends will listen.
With other trials it may be more difficult to mourn. Sometimes we can't discuss them openly because we have to respect the privacy of others. Sometimes the trial involves someone's weakness or even sinfulness. We can't talk about the situation openly even if we feel the need. In some situations, people are judgmental of choices that have been made or the way we are dealing with a trial. This makes it hard to grieve and heal.
I am grateful that I have been able to mourn the loss of my mother by talking and crying with friends and family. I am thankful to be able to write about my mom and share my feelings on my blog.
But I know that many people are suffering, mourning and grieving in relative silence. Other people don't realize the pain they are suffering. Friends likely don't understand why they are grouchy or unreliable or distant. I hope that I can do a better job of recognizing unspoken needs in those around me. I pray that all of us can be patient with friends, family and even strangers who may be going through "invisible" trials.
Henry B. Eyring said, "All of us will be tested. And all of us need true friends to love us, to listen to us, to show us the way, and to testify of truth to us."
Click HERE to learn more about this painting by Diego Riveraand how it relates to the burdens we bear.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
[Bitter]sweet Sunday
Today is General Conference. I know I will learn and be inspired by the words I hear today. I will listen for the things I am meant to hear, for the whispers to my heart from the Holy Ghost.
But my heart will feel heavy as I remember last General Conference. Last October, my family spent conference weekend together during my Mom's final hours on earth. We knew her time with us was short. We made sure conference was on the TV in her room and we took turns sitting by her and talking to her. But she was unresponsive and I believe she had already begun her journey home.
This is our first conference weekend without Mom. I am excited to hear the Lord's word through His prophets, but I will miss my Mom. She won't be there to cook us bacon or share candy with the kids. She won't comment on which apostle is looking older or tell us which talk touches her heart. She won't give us a hug or discuss the scriptures with us.
My Mom loved watching and studying the conference talks. She loved pondering and talking about them. As I watch conference, I will think of her. But more importantly, I will think of my Savior. I know that He will bring peace and comfort to hearts that are burdened.
But my heart will feel heavy as I remember last General Conference. Last October, my family spent conference weekend together during my Mom's final hours on earth. We knew her time with us was short. We made sure conference was on the TV in her room and we took turns sitting by her and talking to her. But she was unresponsive and I believe she had already begun her journey home.
This is our first conference weekend without Mom. I am excited to hear the Lord's word through His prophets, but I will miss my Mom. She won't be there to cook us bacon or share candy with the kids. She won't comment on which apostle is looking older or tell us which talk touches her heart. She won't give us a hug or discuss the scriptures with us.
My Mom loved watching and studying the conference talks. She loved pondering and talking about them. As I watch conference, I will think of her. But more importantly, I will think of my Savior. I know that He will bring peace and comfort to hearts that are burdened.
"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28
Matthew 11:28
Saturday, April 2, 2011
My Week
I have finally entered the 21st century. I got an iphone. I've never even had an ipod before, so that's been my favorite part of my new phone. I am also having fun with the camera and the Hipstamatic app. So here's a view of my week . . .
Much of our week was spent on Two Gentlemen of Verona. We did two shows on Tuesday. First we performed for a small audience at a local charter school. Most of the kids were young, but they giggled and giggled and it was fun to see them "getting" Shakespeare. That night we performed at a church for mutual night. We had a huge audience--about 150 people. It was mostly teenagers and they were a really fun audience. They laughed like crazy!
Two shows meant a 12 hour day with lots of loading and unloading. Here I am carrying part of our set to the van. Why does it still have the price tag on it? Hope it wasn't visible onstage! Shonda looks very calm in the background. It's good to have calm people around!
Here is my friend Sheree's van fully loaded. She is an expert at fitting in everything and using blankets as padding so that nothing gets scratched.
We also got to spend some time with sweet Brianne this week. Here she is signing "more"
She already knows how to pose for the camera!
And speaking of posing, here I am with a rubber ducky. I think I must have been tired after all those performances.
My final picture was definitely not posed. It should be titled "Frustration". I think I picked the wrong week to insist that Evan increase his practice time.
Much of our week was spent on Two Gentlemen of Verona. We did two shows on Tuesday. First we performed for a small audience at a local charter school. Most of the kids were young, but they giggled and giggled and it was fun to see them "getting" Shakespeare. That night we performed at a church for mutual night. We had a huge audience--about 150 people. It was mostly teenagers and they were a really fun audience. They laughed like crazy!
Two shows meant a 12 hour day with lots of loading and unloading. Here I am carrying part of our set to the van. Why does it still have the price tag on it? Hope it wasn't visible onstage! Shonda looks very calm in the background. It's good to have calm people around!
Here is my friend Sheree's van fully loaded. She is an expert at fitting in everything and using blankets as padding so that nothing gets scratched.
We also got to spend some time with sweet Brianne this week. Here she is signing "more"
She already knows how to pose for the camera!
And speaking of posing, here I am with a rubber ducky. I think I must have been tired after all those performances.
My final picture was definitely not posed. It should be titled "Frustration". I think I picked the wrong week to insist that Evan increase his practice time.
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