A Silly Song for Mother's Day

My mom never considered herself a musician, but she blessed her children's lives with music. She sang to us, took us to concerts and provided us with piano/voice/flute/trombone lessons.  We knew music was important to her, especially when she told us childhood stories of carrying her heavy accordion on the bus on the way to her lessons.

When she miraculously awoke in the hospital we all sang together. My mom loved to sing hymns and Primary songs, but our favorites were always the silly songs.  Now I get to sing them to Lavender and my granddaughters!  One of Lavender's favorites is "Mairzy Doats."  She likes it when I sing to her, but she loves this old video from the Lawrence Welk show.

It really is a cute song.  Here are the funny and confusing lyrics:

Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey 
A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you? 
Oh, mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey 
A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you? 

If the words sound queer and funny to your ear, a little bit jumbled and jivey 
Sing "Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy" 

Oh! Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey 
A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you? 
A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you?

So Happy Mother's Day to my sweet mom.  Here are a couple of previous  Mother's Day posts and best of all, mom lovingly commented on each of them. It is a treasure to have her words on my blog.

Thank you to my husband and children for giving me the opportunity to be a mother.  They have given me so many wonderful gifts over the years. (Be sure to click on this link if you want a good laugh!)

Finally, happy Mother's Day to all of the women and mothers in my life. I know that I am a better mother because of each of you. I am grateful for your examples.  I wish I could give you each a lanyard! 

Two Birthdays

One of my favorite quotations is from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  He said,

"Everyone has the power for greatness, not fame but for greatness, because greatness is determined by service. "

Since we are celebrating his birthday today, it seems fitting to share this quote.  But today is another, even more important (at least to me) birthday!  My sweet mom was born 72 years ago.  Mom truly was a great woman and she lived a lived full of service to others.

First and foremost, Mom served her family.  As a little girl growing up in Iowa, Mom served us through hard work!  She gardened and canned fruit and vegetables.  My brother Scott thought she was amazing when she magically made pickles out of cucumbers.

She and a friend even had a small business creating and selling wooden crafts. They made family tree plaques with curving branches carefully cut with a jigsaw.  The trees were stained and the apples carefully painted and then labelled with the names of family members.  My mom always had lovely printing and handwriting (and lamented over my poor penmanship) and she must have written thousands of names on those tiny, wooden apples.  I also remember her making and selling plaques for teacher gifts; the bright crayon boxes spilled out crayons with student names instead of colors.

Mom never considered herself a seamstress, but when I was young she made most of my clothes, from my underwear to my dresses.  As her family grew, her sewing was generally limited to curtains and Halloween costumes.  But when her children left home, she took up quilting and machine embroidery.  We still love snuggling under her quilts, sleeping on her pillowcases and drying off with a personalized towel she embroidered.

Mom was very dedicated in her church service.  She always had a calling and she often served in leadership positions.  She was Relief Society President at least twice, and she was always a faithful visiting teacher. Even after her children were grown, Mom served in the Primary and Young Women organizations.  Some women have a "been there, done that" attitude as they get older, but Mom never did.  She loved going to Girls' Camp and told us she was scolded (as a leader) for staying up too late and giggling too loudly. Before she had her first knee replacement, she knew she needed to be released as a Primary teacher, but she loved those little eight year-olds and was so sad not to teach them every week.

I am grateful that today was a holiday, so we had time to celebrate Mom's birthday.  Marianne and I went out for lunch at Extraordinary Desserts.  Mom definitely would have approved!  We also visited the cemetery and put new flowers on her headstone.  Later, we got together with my sister's family to sing "Happy Birthday" to Mom and play Phase 10, one of her favorite card games.

Happy Birthday Mom!  I miss you every day, but I know that we both have important work to do before the day comes for us to be reunited.  Love you with all my heart!

Three Years

Today marks three years since my mom passed away. I am especially thankful that John and I have been blessed with:

• Our beautiful Lavender Jane and her four fantastic older siblings
• A thoughtful, caring daughter-in-law 
• The two most perfect granddaughters in the world 

I truly am grateful, but my heart aches because my mom isn't here to laugh with Lavender. She isn't here to hug Aaron and ask him about his mission. She can't talk to Marianne all about her college classes or take a drive with Evan and tell him stories of her car crash as a 16 year old. She won't be here to assure Ryan and Molly that they are great parents or explain that Brianne looks so much like her own Grandma Zobrist.  She won't be able to give her little namesake, Leighton Anne, a big hug and kiss.  

Today we will watch General Conference together and feel the Spirit as God's prophets speak to us. But it will be a bittersweet day as we remember all the conference weekends spent at Grandma's house and wish we could be together again. We will remember the last conference we watched together, and the sadness of watching Mom prepare to leave this earth and return to her heavenly home.  

My mom delighted in her family and she loved being a mother and grandmother. I know she would love to be with us this weekend and I hope that she knows how much joy we feel just being together. I am grateful she taught us all the importance of family and of the gospel. I know she rejoices in her posterity. I know we will be together again one day. But I wish we could feel her hugs. I wish we could hear her ringing laughter. I want to see her smile and hear her reassuring words. I want my children and grandchildren to feel the strength of her testimony and the power of her love. It is still there. It is still real. I long for a way to make it more tangible.

Today I will hug them just a moment longer. I will smile just a little wider. I will laugh just a little longer. I will speak just a bit more gently. And maybe, just maybe, a glimmer of my mom will shine through.

A Change for Mother's Day

I think I've finally made peace with Mother's Day.  It's a peace I haven't felt since I was child making construction paper cards with handwritten poetry for my mom.

For years I cringed on Mother's Day.  It's strange, because in my heart of hearts I am a mother.  I was a mother long before I ever gave birth and I have given my whole heart to mothering.  But on Mother's day I felt guilt.  Guilty that I wanted to be pampered and disappointed that a Sunday full of church and family was not at all relaxing.  Guilty that I wasn't a perfect mother.  Guilty that I was impatient, lost my temper or yelled.  Guilty that I somehow didn't measure up.

Things are different now.  I lost my sweet mother 2 1/2 years ago and I have grieved long and hard for her.  I have a darling baby girl who has brought such joy to our home.  Somehow, just like when I was a little girl writing poems, Mother's Day isn't about me anymore.

This Mother's Day I am feeling exquisitely blessed to have lived my life surrounded by wonderful mothers. Grandmothers going back for generations, a Sunday School teacher who taught me about our Savior, aunts who made me feel special, neighbors who trusted me to babysit their children, a school teacher who nurtured my talents, a mother and mother-in-law who truly were angels. Today the blessings continue with dear friends, my sister, five sister-in-laws, my cousins and daughter-in-law.

One of these mothers was my great-grandmother Clara Matilda Bliesath.  Granny died nearly 40 years ago and I still miss her.  My thought of her wax and wane.  Occasionally, I feel her near me with an intensity that is hard to describe.  In late 2010 and early 2011, I felt her presence often, compelling me to finish the temple ordinances for her family.  Last week I was in the car by myself and thoughts of her suddenly flooded my mind.  I began to cry as I realized how much I missed her.

Like me, Granny was a mother at heart.  Unable to have children of their own, she and her husband adopted a baby girl who became the center of their world.  When her husband died, her daughter made her promise that she would never remarry.  Granny had to work hard to support her daughter on her own.  Later she helped care for her grandchildren as her daughter divorced and remarried.  When her daughter died, she brought her two grieving grandchildren home and raised them.

When my father was grown, he converted to a strange religion that Granny didn't understand.  She wasn't happy when he married a Mormon girl.  But they came to live with Granny for a short time and my mom won her over.  Before too long, Granny was doting on her great grandchildren.

I loved being with Granny.  When she came to our house she slept in my big queen size bed with me and we watched soap operas together.   I remember sitting on her lap and feeling so much love from her.  What more could any child want?

That's exactly what Mother's Day is all about, at least it is to me this year.  Love and Gratitude. Love for the many incredible mothers (yes I'm talking about you!) in my world and gratitude for their influence and example!

Happy Mother's Day!

This Deserves Its Own Post

I've know my baby brother David since the moment he was born.  It was exciting to see him grow up, even though I didn't live at home with him for very long.  As a child, he amazed me because he could start a conversation with just about anyone.  I remember him talking to John about the stock market when he was ten years old.

He continued to be friendly and outgoing as an adult.  Last Easter he came to visit us for Lavender's blessing.  On the flight home, he used his conversation skills with a fellow passenger.  Apparently they had such a good conversation that he drove her home from the airport.  Those conversations continued, and . . . .  almost exactly one year later (on the day before Easter) they got married!!

On March 30, 2013

David and Annie 

were sealed for time and all eternity in the

  Sacramento Temple of the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

Felicia & Grandpa Jerry, Carolyn & Dad, The Groom & The Bride, Me & John, Denise & Scott and Jason. Not pictured Brian & Jenny (who was very ill, but came to the temple and left immediately after the ceremony)

The sealing was lovely and I cried through most of it because it was so wonderful to be in the temple with so many members of my family.   My Dad and Carolyn were there along with all of my siblings and their spouses (except for Lacy who was home with baby Cole).  My Aunt Muff & Uncle Paul and Uncle Gerry & Aunt Jody came.   My kids Ryan and Molly were in the temple with us and I was sitting next to my sweet husband.  Finally, I know that my wonderful mother was there.  She wouldn't have missed this day for anything and I felt her presence within the temple.

That evening we traveled to a wonderful country setting for the ring ceremony and reception.  It was a great celebration and David gave quite a performance singing "Hooked On a Feeling" to his beautiful bride Annie!

Congratulations to the newlyweds and welcome to the family Annie!!

Silly Songs

My mom often sang to us as we were growing up.  She told us that she learned most of the songs from her Grandpa Ras.  She always sang, You Are My Sunshine and My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean, but the songs we liked best were the silly ones.

One she sang to us was called Sweet Violets.  You can actually buy it on iTunes sung by Dinah Shore!  The lyrics are funny because the rhyming words you expect are cut off.

There once was a farmer who took a young miss
In back of the barn where he gave her a...
Lecture on horses and chickens and eggs
And told her that she had such beautiful...
Manners that suited a girl of her charms
A girl that he wanted to take in his...
Washing and ironing and then if she did
They would get married and raise lots of..

Sweet Violets
Sweeter than the roses
Covered all over from head to toe
Covered all over with sweet violets

The girl told the farmer that he'd better stop
Or she'd call her father, and he called a...
Taxi and got there before very long,
'Cause someone was doing his little girl...
Right for a change and so that's why he said:
If you marry her, son, you're better off...
Single, 'Cause it's always been my belief
Marriage will bring a man nothing but...

Sweet Violets
Sweeter than the roses
Covered all over from head to toe
Covered all over with sweet violets

The farmer decided he'd wed and he'd wait,
And started in planning for his wedding...
Suit which he purchased for only one buck
But then he found out he was just out of...
Money, left in the lurch
Standin' and waitin' in front of the...
End of the story which just goes to show
All a girl wants from a man is his...

Sweet Violets
Sweeter than the roses
Covered all over from head to toe
Covered all over with sweet violets

Another funny song my mom sang to us was The Billboard Song.  We even sang it together in the hospital, when God gave us a few extra minutes with her.  We laughed and sang together as a family.  Later, her kids and grandkids even sang it during the luncheon after the funeral.  She would have loved it.

There are lots of different versions online, but here is the way I remember the lyrics.

One day as I was walking on a dark and dreary day,
I came upon a billboard and much to my dismay,
The sign was torn and tattered,
From the storm the night before,
The wind and rain had done its work and this is what I saw,

Drink Coca-Cola cigarettes, chew Wrigley’s Spearmint beer,
Ken-L-Ration dog food makes your complexion clear,
Simonize your baby with a Hershey chocolate bar,
And Texaco's a beauty cream that's used by all the stars.

So, take your next vacation in a brand new Frigedaire,
Learn to play the piano in your winter underwear,
Doctors say that babies should smoke until they're three,
And people over sixty-five should bathe in Lipton tea. Hey!

My mom  had nice voice and often sang in the choir.  But after her cancer treatments, her voice wasn't as strong.  She told Marianne that she didn't like to sing in church anymore because she "croaked."  All I know is that her voice always sounded beautiful to me!

It kind of looks like Mom could be singing in this picture, doesn't it?!

Can You Do the Satoosee?

My mom was a woman without guile.  She lived close to the Lord and somehow managed to maintain a sweet innocence throughout her life.  I will never forget the time we found mom singing and dancing to a popular song on the radio.  We were embarrassed to hear her singing along and one of us told her, "Mom!  You shouldn't be singing that."

"What do you mean?" she innocently replied.

"Did you hear what they're saying?"

"Yes.  It says, 'Sa-too-see tonight.' See, I'm doing the Satoosee!" she said while demonstrating a dance move.

She was rather surprised when we explained, "Mom, the song is called 'Seduce Me Tonight'"

Unfortunately, I don't have a picture of mom doing the "Satoosee."  This silly picture will have to do. I believe she was showing my aunt how people dressed at Venice Beach.  Her outfit is funny, but as usual, much too innocent.

In case you're not familiar with the soundtrack of "Flashdance," HERE is a link to this great hit from the 80s.  Don't worry, there are no "Seduce Me Tonight" pictures or video.  Music only.

Party Animals

Marianne planned her first party at the age of three.  She didn't get her party planning skills from me.  It must have skipped a generation since her Grandma Anne was a great party planner.

When I was a little girl, we lived in a split level house in Des Moines, Iowa.  It was a great house for a party because it had so many different "spaces." If my parents had friends over for a dinner party, the kids could be down in the family room or even the basement.  For kids' parties, there was a screened porch on the back of the house.  My brother Scott and I had several birthday parties in that house, but my favorite party was hosted by my parents.  It was a backwards party.  I remember my mom thinking of all the different things they could do backwards.  Everyone was encouraged to wear their clothes backwards.  They had dessert first, followed by the main course and then appetizers.  Guests were greeted at the door with a cheery, "goodbye!"  I think the table was even set backwards.  My mom had a lot of fun planning it, and I was thrilled to be included in her preparations.

Another time, I wanted to do something to raise money for Muscular Dystrophy.  My mom helped me organize quite a party.  We hosted a backyard carnival complete with games and prizes.  We invited our friends and neighbors to join us under the crab apple tree for a fun afternoon.  Of course, they needed to buy tickets to play the games and all the money went to the MDA.  I am sure the amount we raised was fairly small, but I really don't remember.  I will never forget how much time my mom spent helping me prepare for the carnival!

As a teenager, my mom encouraged my brother Scott and I to have occasional parties with our friends.  She always made sure there was plenty of good food and helped us come up with fun games to play and movies to watch.  I think she was often more excited about the parties than we were!  She threw me a Sweet Sixteen birthday party and I remember how beautiful the cake was with big roses.  We almost always had homemade cakes, so having a large, professionally decorated cake was a big deal to me.

My mom and Marianne had a special bond with their shared love of party planning.  One time we were on a car trip together and Mom started discussing her funeral with Marianne.  I told her that was too morbid and to stop talking about it, but she insisted.  She said that Marianne was the only one she could trust to follow through with her plans.  She said she wanted a celebration at her funeral.  I told her I didn't want to talk about it and refused to be part of the conversation, but I had to listen since we were all in the car together!  Mom said she knew the family would insist on a traditional funeral and that was fine, but that she wanted a party afterwards with balloons and Peanut M&Ms. She wanted everyone to have fun and not be sad.

The conversation was nearly forgotten, but when my mom passed away about five years later, Marianne reminded us that Grandma wanted a celebration at her funeral.  And so we had one.  After the funeral services in the church chapel, we had a luncheon.  The cultural hall was decorated with balloons and many beautiful quilts my mom made.  Every table had a bowl of M&M's and we had wonderful food provided by members of her ward.  We sang a few fun songs together and shared a few stories and memories.  After the graveside services, we had a balloon release.  My cousin Kristen took lots of wonderful photos that you can see HERE.  My mom was definitely there with us.  She never would have missed such a great party!

Mom and Dad in 1974 or 1975 - Doesn't she look ready to party in that dress?!

Happy Birthday Mom!

Today is my mom's 71st birthday. We will celebrate her birthday later today, but I wish she was here so we could celebrate it together. I sure do miss her!

Both John and I are blessed to have amazing mothers. Both were faithful, Christlike women, loved by everyone who knew them. That's why we named our daughter "Marianne." We were hopeful she would follow in the footsteps of both her grandmothers.

This week I want to share some stories about my mom. Here is the first one:

One of my earliest memories is of my mom teaching me to forgive.  When my brother Scott and I would argue, she would bring us together.  She taught us to say, “I’m sorry” and in return “I forgive you.”  Sometimes we had to repeat these words until they could be said in a loving and sincere way.  Most important in this process was giving each other a big hug.   All of my siblings have learned this lesson well and I am grateful that each of them has been quick to forgive when I have lost my temper or offended them in some way.

The summer before I was in 6th grade, our family moved from Iowa to Southern California.  There were several girls my age in our neighborhood and things seemed to go well at first.  Then I began to have problems with one of these girls at school.  She started to make fun of me and say unkind things about me to our classmates.  At first, I tried to ignore it, but over the next few weeks, I became more hurt and upset.  I went home and indignantly told my mother what was happening.

I couldn’t believe her response! She suggested that I invite this girl to come over after school and make cookies.  I told Mom that the invitation would never be accepted, but Mom patiently sat next to me while I made the difficult phone call.  To my surprise, our neighbor agreed to come over after school on Friday.   Mom had everything ready when we got home and she stayed with us while we began rolling out the dough and cutting out the cookies.  At first, the conversation was awkward, but soon we began to have fun.  When it was time for my friend to go home, she apologized to me. Things weren't perfect from then on, but I immediately noticed a change in her behavior at school.

I am grateful that my mother understood and lived the principle of forgiveness. I hope that I can be more like her and strive to follow Christ’s example and the words of Ephesians, “And be ye kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

Mom with her mom - 1981 or 1982.  In Hawaii with the wind blowing through their hair!

Lavender Has A New Cousin!

Cole Jason joined the family this afternoon.  He weighed 9 lbs 13 oz!  My grandma and mom were both born in January, but Cole is the first of my mom's descendants with a January birthday.  He will probably need a bit of surgery so keep him in your prayers.  Congratulations to my brother Jason and sister-in-law Lacy!

Happy Birthday Cole!  

We love you.

'Twas the Night Before Christmas

And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a mouse
Because we were all at the cemetery!

After my mom passed away we wanted to come up ways to remember her that were fun and that the kids would enjoy.  One of the things we decided to do was to decorate her grave a few times a year.  We were a little late with our holiday decorations this year, but on Christmas Eve we finally made it to the cemetery.  We decorated the tree near her grave with red jewels and silver snowflakes and we put poinsettias on her headstone.  Mom always loved Christmas, decorations and the color red, so it was a good combination!

Alyssa holds Lavender beneath the decorated tree.

Rudolph

My girls

Cammi liked being Rudolph, but Lavender wasn't so sure about it.  We had fun singing Christmas carols, but certain people got embarrassed during "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer," especially when someone drove up to visit a nearby grave.  It may have been slightly inappropriate, but my mom always thought it was a funny song!

We headed back home and Ryan and Molly join us for our traditional Christmas Eve dinner of pizza, salad and vintage soda.  Then the kids acted out the nativity story while Emma read from the second chapter of Luke.

Some motley wisemen and shepherds and a complaining baby Jesus.

Our knitting narrator

 

A reluctant angel

Mary, great with child (or something!)

Evan shared a great video he saw in his seminary class and then we watched a couple of other short Christmas videos.  Finally, the kids got to open one present.  Amazingly, they all got Christmas pajamas!

Ready for Christmas!  Bring it on!

Christmas Feels Different This Year

For me, Christmas is all about traditions.  Things have been pretty much the same for as long as I can remember.  We always have the same Christmas eve meal that my family had when I was growing up.  Santa Claus does things exactly the same way he did as when I was a kid.  When I was 12 years old, my best friend and I started a secret Christmas giving tradition that my family still loves today.  Our family newsletter tradition is only 18 years old, so that's a recent addition for us!

I've never been one to shake things up or try something different at Christmastime.  But in 2010, my mom passed away and everything changed.  Not only was my sweet Mom gone, but my dad went with my brother's family on a trip to NYC.  It was fun for them and a much-needed change for Dad, but it was really hard on me.  It was my first Christmas ever without my parents!  I had spent every single one of my 43 Christmases with my mom and dad.  Most of the time, my siblings were all there too!  That was the beginning of a big change for me.

Most things are still the same. We still decorate the tree with our traditional ornaments, but we've added some of Mom's.  We'll be baking and making our favorite Christmas cookies and treats.  We've got our baskets full of Christmas books in the living room.  I have my favorite decorations out.

Some things are different, of course.  I will miss being with my brothers at Christmas and I will certainly miss Elder Aaron.  Different isn't always bad though. My Dad's wife Carolyn joins us now.  She has a great sense of humor and makes the best desserts ever.  She made our white elephant exchange especially fun last year.  Lavender is here now too and she will bring a special excitement and joy to our celebrations!  With her and our little granddaughters here, it has been fun to shop for the little ones again.  I also talked it over with Marianne and Evan and we decided that Santa will wrap all of their presents from now on.  Santa has always carefully arranged his gifts on the couches for the children until they leave home.  He will still do that for Lavender, but not for the older kids.

It is freeing and exciting to introduce a bit of change into our Christmas traditions.  I know that as my family grows, things will continue to change.  We have already added a beautiful daughter-in-law and I am hopeful that our children will bring spouses and add grandchildren to our family in the coming years.  Changes will come and for the first time, I am excited about them.  As long as our focus is on our Savior Jesus Christ, our Christmas celebrations will be joyous!

Birthday Salad (and cake too!)

My birthday was last week.  I had a nice day including phone calls, texts, gifts, flowers, lunch with my sister, dinner and As You Like It with my husband.  We often celebrate birthdays with a family dinner.  So the Sunday after my birthday I decided I was going to invite the family over and make exactly what I wanted for dinner .  These are recipes I love, but almost never make.  And here they are:

The first one is Pioneer Woman's Asian Noodle Salad.   I've modified it just a bit.  There are a few things you should know.
1.  It makes a HUGE bowl of salad.  Actually, I have to put it in two huge bowls to mix it up. I recommend you make this salad for a crowd, or cut the recipe in half and you will still have plenty for a large hungry family.
2.  This is definitely a main dish salad, especially if you're happy with a vegetarian meal.
3.  Once you put the dressing on, you need to eat this salad right away.  You can't save the leftovers for lunch the next day.

1 package fettucine noodles, cooked and cooled
1/2 head napa cabbage, sliced
1/2 head purple cabbage, sliced
1/2 bag baby spinach
1 yellow bell pepper, sliced
1 red bell pepper, sliced
1 orange bell pepper sliced
1 small bag bean sprouts
1/2 bunch cilantro, chopped
1 bunch green onions, sliced,
3 cucumbers, peeled and sliced
1 1/2 cups cashews, lightly toasted in non-stick skillet

Dressing:
(I think this makes too much dressing, so I never use quite all of it on the salad!)
1 lime, juiced
8 Tbs olive oil
8 Tbs soy sauce
2 Tbs sesame oil
1/3 cup brown sugar
3 Tbs fresh ginger, minced
3 cloves garlic, minced
chopped cilantro

For my birthday cake I made Hymie's Chocolate Fudge Bundt Cake that my mom always used to make.  It is yummy and needs no frosting.  Perfect for me since I'd rather have ice cream than frosting!

Mix together:
1 devil's food cake mix
1 large package instant chocolate pudding
1 cup sour cream
1/2 cup vegetable oil
4 eggs
1 cup water

Beat on high for 5 minutes.  Then stir in 1 1/2 cups chocolate chips.  Pour batter into well greased bundt pan. Bake for 55 minutes at 350 degrees.

It was fun to have the family over for dinner and we ate on paper plates so I didn't have dishes to do!

50 Years

Today is the 50th anniversary of my parents' wedding.  Mom and Dad were married young, although they were childhood sweethearts so they weren't as young as they might have been!  Mom was 20 and Dad was 22 and a recent convert to the church.  He had been baptized 11 months earlier and was the only member in his family.

Mom came from an LDS family, but most of her family were not able to go to the temple at that time.  They were married in the St. George temple with just a few family members there.  I could show you a professional photo of the temple, but it is fun to see the pictures they took.  

 

After their sealing, they drove back to Las Vegas for their wedding reception.

They stayed at LaConcha Inn that night.

Then they headed out for Salt Lake.  Dad had started feeling sick on their wedding day and by the next day he was really sick.  He laid in the back seat of the car while Mom drove the whole way.  Not a very romantic beginning for their honeymoon.  By the time they got to Salt Lake City, Dad was really sick and had strep throat.  He had to get penicillin to treat it.

The "fun" continued as they traveled to Yellowstone to camp.

They saw lots of bears and Mom loved rolling down the car window just a bit to feed marshmallows to the bears.  Her tune changed a little later.  Mom was at their campsite while Dad was somewhere else.  She had some pork chops she was going to cook for dinner.  A bear decided he wanted them, but Mom wasn't going to give them up without a fight.  She ran around trying to get away from the bear and finally climbed up on a table and started crying.  Some men had been sitting nearby and laughing at the scene, but they eventually came over and scared the bear away by banging on metal trash can lids.  The pork chops were saved and Mom and Dad survived their honeymoon, but Mom always told us, "Never go camping on your honeymoon!"

I love you Mom and Dad!  I am grateful for your eternal marriage and for your good examples of how to make a marriage work through thick and thin, five kids and 48 years!

Lavender's Blessing Day

April 7th was a perfect Saturday! We had beautiful, warm weather and most of our family gathered together for Lavender's blessing.  I was especially grateful that my brothers traveled long distances to be with us on this special day.

First we got our sweet girl dressed.

 

This slip was made by Grandma Anne nearly 16 years ago for Marianne's blessing.

This quilt was also made by my mom.

 

She was covered in lace and ribbons from head to toe

She looks beautiful, but not too happy!

We had a little mother daughter talk (and a drink of milk) before heading downstairs.

 

 

It must have worked because she didn't make a peep during her blessing.

Afterwards she fell asleep.

 

Her Daddy gave her a lovely blessing, surrounded by all these priesthood holders who love her.

Uncle Brian, home teacher Br. Warren, Bishop Mendenhall, Uncle David, Daddy with Lavender, Uncle Scott, Uncle Jason, Grandpa Bob and big brother Ryan.

After the blessing, we ate a great lunch (Thanks Marianne, Denise and Carolyn!)

and then visited Mom's grave at the cemetery.

That evening we headed to the Stake Center for my niece Cammi's baptism and confirmation.

We are a happy family!

Can I Blog About Anything Other Than My Baby?

Nope!  It's All Lavender, All the time here at Happy Hartz . . .

 

Lavender's Birth Story

Our baby was due on Evan's birthday--his 14^th birthday! Fourteen years is long time between babies and I felt a little out of practice. I decided to use the Hypnobabies program my sister had used with her last baby. To try out the program, I used the “Peaceful Sleep Now” CD to help me fall asleep. After three nights I determined it wasn't working very well. It still took me awhile to fall asleep. Then I realized that I had never heard the end of the CD. It was a 35 minute CD and I had only heard the first 15 minutes! That made a believer out of me and I had Evan put all the Hypnobabies childbirth CDs on my iPhone. I began practicing relaxation and focus techniques for about 30 minutes a day. I really enjoyed my practice sessions. I got to lie down and listen to a calm, soothing voice with my eyes closed; sometimes I even fell asleep! I loved listening to the various tracks because they are so calming and positive. I was preparing for a “peaceful, easy, beautiful birth” and contractions were called “pressure waves” or “surges.” Later in my pregnancy, I had Evan download the “Turn Breech Baby” track from the Hypnobabies website to help our little “flipper” get in position. She turned almost immediately and stayed put until her birth a few days later. (I highly recommend the Breech Baby MP3 from Hypnobabies.  It stands alone and can be used even if you aren't doing the rest of the program.)

About 10 days before our due date, I woke up at 4:00 AM and began making a mental to-do list. I sat up on the edge of the bed and then my water broke with a big gush. I was surprised because I hadn't been having contractions and I definitely hadn't had that unmistakable sign of labor (bloody show/lost mucous plug). I woke up John asking him to get me a towel and he was shocked that the baby was on her way.

Despite our surprise, we managed to leave for the hospital by about 5:30. I would have preferred to stay at home for awhile, but I had tested positive for group B strep and needed to be treated with antibiotics before the birth. On the way to the hospital I listened to my childbirth affirmations and it helped me relax and get in a positive mindset. Thank goodness because the nurse was anything but positive. She questioned my desire to have a heparin lock (instead of an iv) telling me I needed to be prepared for an epidural and cesarean. She also told me that if my baby was breech, I would definitely need a cesarean. I calmly told her that I had already discussed both of these matters with my doctor who had advised the heparin lock and was prepared for a breech birth if necessary. A quick ultrasound confirmed what I already knew—baby girl was head down!

Now it was time to get to work and things were going well. Negative nurse's shift ended. My doctor stopped by before heading over to her office. I was having regular pressure waves and the baby's heartbeat was strong. My new nurse was very supportive of natural, unmedicated birth. She had been a midwife in England and even had one of her babies at home.

I kept one earphone in and listened to Hypnobabies throughout my labor. Once my antibiotics finished, I was able to get up and John and I walked the halls together. John and I love taking walks together –even in the hallway at the hospital. It felt so good to be up and moving. At the end of the hall there was a big window and often I had a contraction as we got there. I put my arm's around John's neck and he held me as I relaxed and breathed.

My labor didn't progress the way I expected. It was gradual and steady rather than picking up speed as we got further along. I had to focus as the the surges got stronger, but I wasn't in pain. Early in my labor, the nurse asked me to rate my pain on a scale of 1-10. I explained that I thought of labor as work and pressure, not in terms of pain. She understood and never asked me that question again. Instead she would ask, “Are they getting stronger? Or are they changing?” They did keep getting stronger, but I really wasn't in pain. The harder the surges, the more I needed John. I would call his name and he came over to the bed and held my hand. It was a beautiful, sunny day, but we couldn't see out the window because the blind wouldn't open. The nurse had tried and couldn't get it to work. John rolled it up by hand and I loved looking at the sunshine on the green hills behind the hospital. It was the perfect day for our baby girl to arrive.

In the afternoon my wonderful doctor arrived. She said that some of her appointments had been canceled and she was going to stay there. I was feeling a little impatient and surprised that things weren't moving faster. I was waiting for that feeling that it was time to push. This time was different though and that feeling never came, at least not it the way it always had before. Instead, my body started pushing and I felt kind of out of control. With my other babies, pushing was always such a relief and it felt good to push. I was excited that the baby would be here soon, but I never got that “finally I get to push!” feeling.

My sister Jenny and my daughter Marianne came into the room. I had tears in my eyes and I didn't want them to think I was crying because of pain. I told them that my mom was there. The nurse turned around and asked where my mom was. I explained that she had passed away. Just before Jenny and Marianne arrived, John sat on the side of the bed and reminded me that our mothers were bringing us our baby girl today. I knew he was right and I could really feel their presence. I felt their love and comfort and support. I knew their spirits were close to us.

Finally it was time to push. I was very vocal during the pushing. This surprised me and I felt a bit self-conscious, especially with Marianne there. Pushing was also very hard and somewhat painful. I think there are a couple of reasons it felt this way. First of all, the baby was still up fairly high so I had a long way to push her. Although I didn't realize it at the time, one of the nurses who was getting everything ready had unplugged my earbuds from my phone. I had been listening to my Birth Guide, but without it I wasn't as relaxed.

It felt like I was pushing forever and the baby was never going to come out, but I really only pushed for 15 minutes. Finally the doctor asked John, “Did your other kids have lots of dark hair?” That surprised both of us. Everyone kept telling me, “She's almost here” or “Just one more push,” but I didn't really believe them. At last the nurse told me, “Open your eyes and look down. She's here.” I didn't realize that my eyes had been closed, but when I opened them I saw her little head and they scooped her up onto my chest. It was the most wonderful feeling. I was blessed to nurse and hold my sweet girl for more than 30 minutes after she was born. I looked at her beautiful little body and I knew she was perfect. In the weeks before her birth, I had prepared myself for the possibility of Down Syndrome. But as I looked at her, I could see she didn't have DS and the spirit confirmed that to me as well.

Our doctor told John and I that she wanted us to look at something. She showed us the umbilical cord and it had a big knot in it. She told us it was a “true knot” and that if it had been pulled any tighter we wouldn't have our little girl with us. We knew she was indeed a miracle!

Aaron's Birth

Shortly after Aaron was born, I wrote about his birth and how I prepared for it.  I mention this so you will know I am not relying on 20 year old memories to tell this story.  Nor have I  have conveniently "forgotten" the pain over the years.

With the exception of a minute or two, Aaron's birth was in fact, pain-free.  Really.  The whole labor and the delivery.  Yes, I felt pressure and I was uncomfortable at times, but I wasn't in pain.  How did this happen?

 Preparation!

Well before Aaron's birth I began working to deal with my fears, to free myself from the need to be in control, to forgive myself and others (remember that rude nurse I told you about last time) and to develop trust in my current doctor, the nurses and my own body.

I am blessed to have parents who believed in the possibility of a pain-free birth and who knew how to help me emotionally heal from the previous birth and prepare for the upcoming one.  Working with my parents helped to calm and prepare me.  I knew I needed to change my mindset and think of contractions as "work" rather than "labor pains."  I prepared a list of things to say to myself during labor and I reviewed them each night. 

 I also prepared by practicing relaxation techniques and labor positions with my husband for several weeks before I had the baby.  My natural inclination was to tighten up when I felt a contraction, so I needed to learn to relax the rest of my body during a contraction.

 Aaron was really a very considerate baby.  He came about 8 days early and he got his dad out of a rather boring business meeting!  I had lots of irregular contractions and other signs of impending labor (remember, I promised nothing graphic).  The next day I knew it was the  baby's birthday!  All day long I had regular (but painless) contractions and I worked to look forward to every contraction and how I was a little closer to having my baby.

During this time I also turned everything over to God.  John gave me a beautiful  priesthood blessing that helped me feel peaceful and confident.

 When we went to the hospital about 5 PM, I was only dialated to 4 cm and they wanted to send me home.  I looked so calm that they couldn't believe I was really in labor.  I convinced them to let me stay and my doctor came and broke my water.  Of course the contractions became stronger, but I was fine as I quietly repeated aloud all the affirmations I had prepared.  From 6:30 to 7:30  I was in transition.  I layed on my left side listening to soothing music that I had listened to during my relaxation practice.  John put his hands on my back to support me.  He reminded me to relax and let the contractions do their work.  He encouraged me and told me that every contraction was one less I needed to have.  I continued repeating the things I had practiced.

 What helped me the most was to remember that the Savior had already suffered the pain of birth.  I told myself that Jesus Christ loved me and did not want we to suffer and that I could turn it over to Him.  I said this aloud too.  I only felt pain at one time when I changed my position and I let some fear creep in.

 At one point the nurse checked me and said I was at 8 cm and hadn't progressed at all since the last time she checked.  I quickly forgave her because I knew I was progressing.  I continued to visualize my body preparing for birth.  Five or ten minutes later I was ready to push.  The nurse was disbelieving and hesitated, but John insisted she get the doctor.  After about 5 minutes of painless pushing, our baby was born.  I was so excited that his birth had been a beautiful, positive experience.

 Although I never had an ultrasound during my pregnancy, I was sure that our baby was a girl.  When the doctor said, "It's a boy!"  I was so surprised that I turned to John and asked, "Is it really a boy?"  Everyone must have thought I was crazy. 

 During the pregnancy, we spent a lot of time discussing names for our baby girl.  One day I thought we should choose a boy's name, just in case.  Suddenly the name Aaron James came into my mind.  It surprised me because I had never particularly liked the name Aaron.  But John immediately agreed and we wrote it down.  So when Aaron was born, I asked John, "Do you still want to call him Aaron James?"  We both felt like it was supposed to be his name.  I have always felt like it was a name I received through revelation.

 Lessons I learned from Aaron's birth:

• Birth doesn't have to be a painful experience
• Labor is work, like running a race, but there is a wonderful prize at the finish line
• Forgiveness, trust and gratitude bring the Spirit
• Preparation brings peace
• Rely on the Lord in all things

Childbirth

Did I scare you with that title?  Don't worry, this post contains no graphic information or photos :)

When I was 16 1/2 years old, my youngest brother David was born and I was there.  I mean right there.  The nurses in the hospital were not happy about my presence and tried to shoo me out of the room, but my Mom insisted and the nurses reluctantly followed the doctor's orders to let me stay.  I stood right by my Mom's shoulder, so I had a good view, but I didn't have to see anything I didn't want to!

Mom made the whole process look very easy.  She was calm and quiet and David emerged after just a few pushes.  He was her fifth and final baby born (as were the first four) after just a few hours of labor without a epidural or any type of pain medication.

This experience shaped my views of childbirth.  I saw firsthand that labor and birth did not have to be the terrible, painful experience I had seen on TV.  Mainly, it eased my fears about birth and becoming a mother.  Certainly, I was very naive in expecting my first baby to come as easily as my mom's fifth.  However, I am grateful for the confidence it gave me in knowing "I can do this someday!"

Seven years later, I was gave birth to my own baby and I followed my mom's example in having a natural birth.  I did quite a bit of research and preparation in making this decision and ultimately, with my husband's approval, I decided it was the right choice for me and my baby.  For me, giving birth naturally has been a very empowering experience.  It has strengthened me in ways that are difficult for me to verbalize or express in writing. 

I believe that choices in childbirth are very personal and I understand and rejoice in the fact that there are so many safe options available for mothers and babies.  Please understand that I am not criticizing or judging anyone who made a different choice or had a different experience than me.

With the birth of each of my children, I have learned different lessons.  So over the next few days I want to share a bit about the birth of each one.  I guess it is one way I am preparing as I approach my fifth and final birth experience. 

PS I promise the upcoming posts will also be free of anything too graphic!

A gift from Mom

I recently received a special gift from my Mom.  The day before her birthday I was cleaning out my dad's desk.  In between some papers, I found a letter my mom wrote to me 15 years ago, but never gave to me. She had printed it out and then made a few changes by hand, so I think it was unfinished.  Here are a few quotes from the letter.


"As a parent I do not believe there are favorite children.  I believe there are favorite things about each child."


"As I watch you parent your children, I am pleased with the respect you show for them and the dignity with which you parent.  As they grow older you will come to realize that even though you are the Mother now, we are truly all brothers and sisters, and then you will find as I have that your respect for your children as individuals grows even stronger."

"My testimony of Jesus Christ is strong!  There is no doubt that He lives!  Joseph Smith did indeed translate the Book of Mormon from Gold plates and did restore Christ's church upon the earth.  Never doubt that there is eternal life and that the covenants that we make in the temple are God's plan.  Always remain true to this gospel and know that God hears and answers our prayers and that everything we experience in this life is for our own growth and benefit.  I love you #1 daughter!"

"You have always known that I love you.  I write this letter now to confirm and put that love (a feeble attempt I might add) on paper, that you may have this to read when I am not around."

A (very soft) Happy Birthday to you!

Last week was my mom's 70th birthday, so we decided to have a little celebration.  First we headed to the cemetery.  We put new flowers mom's grave and decorated the trees with glittery hearts.  We also sang "Happy Birthday" although we decided to sing quietly since there was a graveside service in progress just down the hill.

The hearts were Cammi's idea.  Perfect since we can keep them up through February.

Papa John and Brianne

Colorful flowers for Mom

Leighton had fun blowing bubbles.

Back at home we ate dinner, had cake and ice cream and sang "Happy Birthday" a little more loudly.  We also broke open a box of See's Candy.  Evan had been trying to convince me all day that "Grandma would let me open the candy . . .Grandma wouldn't have made me wait."  Then we played a rousing game of  Scattergories and found out how competitive our family really is!

Happy Birthday Mom!