Happy, Happy Birthday Daddy Dear!

My dad has always been a teacher. After his PhD thesis was written, he taught courtroom judges about non-verbal communication. His early working years were spent as a university professor. Later, he offered seminars and classes in forgiveness and relationship-building. Over the years, he taught thousands of people in his church callings. Most importantly, he worked to teach his five children many important life lessons. This was no small feat for someone who was without a father during most of his formative years.  This post explains how he taught me to read, keep the commandments, work hard and be prepared. Dad taught me lots of other things as well.

"Quality" is the lesson stands out in my mind. It was taught bit by bit over many years. As I was growing up, my dad frequently talked about quality. He encouraged us to choose high-quality friends and to always do quality work. He made a point of getting to know my friends and he let me know he was proud of the great people I spent time with. Dad didn't judge my friends based on their religion or family circumstances. Instead he appreciated their individual strengths. One of my good friends was incredibly intelligent, mature and a very hard worker. Her family struggled financially and Dad helped her find work during high school and college.

As we got older, Dad reminded us of the importance of finding a quality spouse. He often reminded me that I should get to know the family of those I dated, because "you don't just marry a person. You marry a family."  Dad told me that he trusted me to choose a great spouse because I had always chosen outstanding friends. Fortunately, he approved of John as soon as he met him. John was relieved to "pass" the not-so-subtle "interview" with my Dad.

Dad taught us to do quality work in every situation. I remember him teaching my brother Scott how to mow and edge the lawn. Scott learned to do a better job than the gardeners and the neighbors hired him to take care of their yards. My siblings and I were given the chance to work at Dad's business. One of the first jobs was stuffing envelopes.  He had a particular way he wanted us to fold the mailers. He explained the reason behind the folding and the importance of doing it correctly.  Then he made sure we knew how to do it right. I think of  my dad any time I stuff an envelope.

Of course, Dad always wanted me to do a quality job on my schoolwork. I remember Dad reading over my assignments to discuss the ideas I was presenting. Dad knew he wasn't the best at proof-reading and he left that to Mom, but he was all about the big picture!  He encouraged me and challenged me to always do my very best, particularly in my writing.

Dad even wanted me to be a quality driver. He and Mom carefully prepared me to get my driver's license when I turned 16. I hated driving the bright yellow station wagon to school, but then my Dad came up with something I thought was even worse.  He told me a could drive the nicer, smaller car, but it had a manual transmission. He explained the importance of learning to drive a stick-shift, especially if an emergency were to arise. He took me out to practice, but I was grouchy and humiliated when some boys from my high school showed up in the parking lot where we were practicing. I refused to practice any more with Dad, so he told me I could learn on my own. I was only allowed to drive the stick-shift from then on. We lived in a very hilly area and I stalled the car and rolled backwards down many hills before I finally mastered the art of a using that clutch.  At the time, I thought my father was mean for "forcing" me to drive the (very nice, new) car with a manual transmission. Twenty five years later, I finally realized the gift of quality my Dad had given me. My oldest son was a car enthusiast, and he wanted to learn to drive a stick-shift so that he would be ready to drive expensive sports cars. We borrowed my brother-in-law's Honda and headed to a church parking lot. As we drove around, Ryan began to get frustrated and clearly it was my fault. Finally I asked him to stop the car. I grabbed my cell phone and called my Dad. It was a short conversation.

"Dad, I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted when you tried to teach me to drive a stick-shift." Dad started laughing.  It was a long time to wait for an apology, but he didn't seem to mind. And Ryan eventually learned how the clutch worked. His dreams later came true on several occasions when he got to drive Porsches.

I many not have always appreciated my Dad's focus on quality when I was growing up, but I surely do now.  I love you Dad!  Happy Birthday!  Have a QUALITY Birthday!!

Our quality family circa 1982, around the time I learned to drive a stick-shift

A New To Do List

Elder Aaron emailing from the church in Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario

Elder Aaron emails us each week. I almost always get a fairly long email and he often sends an email to the immediate family.  This week John and I both got very short emails of a couple of sentences, but Marianne and Evan both received long emails.  Evan asked his big brother for advice about what to do in his spare time.  Aaron replied with a long list of ideas.

I thought I would share it with you in hopes it might spark an idea for you or for a family member. Sometimes we just need a little inspiration to get started on a project!

1. Learn how to operate ham radio and talk to people over the radio. 
2. Write in your journal about meaningful experiences in your life. Write about your goals, what you want to accomplish, and who you want to become. Take a video logs of yourself answering these questions. 
3. Play the piano. 3.5 Take voice lessons 
4. Find a service that lets you video chat with deaf people and practice ASL with a native speaker. Or find deaf people in Poway and practice with them. There has to be a deaf group somewhere in Poway. They would probably be impressed that you're striving to learn their language. [Marianne & Evan are taking an ASL class at the community college.] Don't worry if you can't communicate very well just practice. 
5. Interview Grandpa about his life and record the interview by video and/or audio. Have him record stories from his life. How did he join the church? How did he meet grandma? What were his pastimes as a teenager? What are his memories of his parents? 
6. Learn about computer hardware and build a computer. 
7. Work out at Brother Killen's house. [A friend with weights and equipment we can use for free.]
8. Seriously research universities. Why would you want to go there? What do you want to study there? What do you want to do when you graduate? Will you go to graduate school? 
9. Start taking a picture of yourself every day. By the time you're 25 you'll have a photographic history of growing up. That would be awesome! 
10. Have Dad teach you about financial stuff and develop a financial plan for your life. 
11. Play with Lavender or plant a garden with Evan. 
12. Build a password scheme for your different accounts. 
13. Make your passwords stronger than they are now. 
14. Check out the original papyrus for facsimile no.1 in the Book of Abraham on josephsmithpapers.org. 
15. Plan a Family home evening and carry it out. 
16. Work on your Eagle Scout project. (This one doesn't apply to Marianne directly. Maybe it can be "Help Evan with his Eagle project")
17. Convince Mom and Dad to take the family to a Jewish worship service on a Saturday. Find a good synagogue that would be happy to have you. Study a little about Judaism before you go. It would be a good cultural experience. 
18. Take principles from chapter 3 in Preach My Gospel and learn what other faiths believe about those principles. If possible, ask a real person. Write a paper about it. Do Roman Catholics believe in a premortal life? What do orthodox Jews think about baptism? How does the Islamic perception of God differ from your beliefs? 
19. Take pictures.

Did you know Elder Aaron will be home in 15 days?!  The kids told him we can visit a Jewish synagogue together after he gets home.

Can't wait to see him in two weeks!

This and that

Elder Aaron and his companion found an apartment, so he doesn't have to sleep on the couch anymore! They had to move in with other elders at the last minute to make room for all the new sisters serving in Toronto.

I had a date with my sweetie to the symphony.  It was one of the best performances ever.  We enjoyed Bach, Schumann and a Concerto for two pianos by a modern composer, Poulenc.

Brianne started ballet lessons. She is the cutest little ballerina ever.

I went wheat-free this week after reading this book recommended by a dear friend. I had been praying about my health and wondering what to do.  Just a few hours later we were finishing a conversation when she said, "Wait, I have to tell you about this book."  The results have amazed me.  I have much more energy and none of the cravings for snacks and sweets.  We shall see how the weight loss goes.

Lavender took her very first steps just a month ago and now she is running around everywhere.

Marianne and Evan dissected a sheep brain with their cousins as part of their biology class. Their Uncle Brian is a great lab instructor.

I got to go the temple this week!

Happy Birthday John!

John's birthday had been on my mind for awhile. It was a milestone birthday. One of the "big" ones, and he wasn't too excited about it.  I wanted him to have a fun celebration that would be something he could remember. Especially after last year when I could barely waddle out the door to dinner!

When we were at the Safari Park a couple of weeks ago, Molly pointed out the zipline to us. She suggested it would be a fun thing to do, but I wasn't sure. It was really high!

I kept looking for birthday ideas, but after much googling and youtubing, I came back around to the zipline idea. The kids were excited about it and we decided to make it a surprise. John is nearly impossible to shop for, so it was a relief to tell him that I wasn't buying him a present this year. Instead, we would spend his birthday budget to create a family memory. He liked the idea and I told him to be ready for an adventure on the morning of his birthday. After breakfast in bed, we dropped Lavender off at the Baker's and headed out.
 

When we got to the Safari Park, he was probably a little disappointed, but he figured we were doing something special since we left the little ones behind.  He still didn't know what was going on until we finally got to the check in spot.

That was where we signed our life away and stepped on the giant scale to check our weight. Then John got his special birthday button and was informed that he could take a free ride on the carousel.
So far his adventure wasn't quite as exciting as he may have imagined.

Fortunately, things got better once we put on our harnesses . . .

. . . and got our trolleys. We decided to to film our adventure and Evan volunteered to wear the helmet-cam!

Then took a short practice run to learn what to do during the flight and the landing.  John was a fast learner and we were cleared for takeoff!

It wasn't until we got to the platform that we realized how high up we were going to be!

It was pretty breezy up there, but we were all smiles.  Marianne was the most experienced zipliner (having gone in Big Bear and Ecuador) so she went first.

Molly was close behind.  She was a little nervous, so our instructor helpfully told her to keep any screams "on the inside".  He warned that yelling could upset the rhinos and cause them to "crash."

The ride was exhilarating!  It lasted about a minute and a half and we reached speeds of nearly 60 mph.  What an awesome experience to soar above the animals with the breeze in our faces!  It may have been John's birthday, but I declared myself the winner when I passed him and Evan just before our landing.  We all agreed it was the perfect birthday adventure!

Before we left the park, we stopped by the Bonsai garden.  During his mission to Japan, John grew to love these beautiful miniature trees.  We saw trees that were less than 10 years old and others that were hundreds of years old.  Volunteers were busy trimming and pruning.  We learned that when the root growth is restricted, the leaf size is reduced.  However, the fruit does not miniaturize, so we saw a tiny apple tree with full size apples!

John said his birthday was complete when we got home and Lavender took her first steps!  What a great present for her daddy.

She was pretty proud of herself and within 24 hours was walking halfway across the room!

Happy, Happy Birthday to my sweet husband!  I am grateful we have spent the past 25 years together!

Worse Than the January Blues!

We were hit by the plague earlier this month and it has taken us more than two weeks to recover.  Now that we are no longer zombies, here is our family update:

Lavender now has four teeth.  Teething was very painful for her and she is much happier now that they are in. She is very aware of them and alternately grinds her teeth and smacks her lips. We try to distract her because it drives us crazy! She is also standing by herself.  She usually does it when she is busy playing and needs her hands to grab or shake a toy.  Although she does it often, I have yet to get a picture of her standing.  Her hair is also growing longer and getting lighter.  She is into everything, but we are grateful she usually sleeps all night.  I can't believe she will be a year old in less than a month!

Smacking her lips

Evan spends as much time as possible unicycling and slacklining.  He must have excellent balance because he is very good at both! He and John recently went to Torrey Pines to watch the pro golfers in the Farmers Insurance Open.  He especially enjoyed watching Tiger Woods.  He was surprised at some of the spectators.  One man brought a step stool to stand on.  Another used a periscope to get a better view. Despite the wind and cool weather, one mother and grandma brought a nine week old baby on the course.

On his slack line

Marianne was hardest hit with illness and has been busy getting caught up on everything.  She is preparing for a flute solo in church and her driver's test to get her license.  She has spent lot of time studying as she finishes up a challenging three semester scholar project called "Thomas Jefferson Youth Certification." She spent the last week doing a Facebook fast and is currently lamenting the fact that she STILL hasn't seen Les Mis!  She also refuses to let me post a picture of her, so here is a bonus shot of Lavender:

Elder Aaron has been transferred back to Toronto and to Korean work.  The Korean branch has been dissolved and there are only two Korean language missionaries in the whole mission--Elder Aaron and his companion! The ward he is serving in is very large and about 90% of the members are converts.  It must be huge, because the ward has 8 missionaries--4 English, 2 Farsi & 2 Korean!  I've never heard of a ward having 8 missionaries.  In fact our ward usually shares 2 missionaries with another ward. Aaron is excited to be back in Korean work, but he was sad to leave Timmins.  He loved the ward members there and he will miss the beautiful scenery since Timmins is surrounded by forests and lakes.

Ryan, Molly and the girls got to take a fun trip to San Francisco this month.  I once took Evan a toddler  to SF and it nearly killed me.  Fortunately, Ryan and Molly are much more patient parents!  We missed spending time with them when we were sick.  Our granddaughters are incredibly gorgeous and exceedingly smart.  Lavender loves being with them and they are starting to play together.  Brianne recently locked Marianne out of the house when Marianne was babysitting her.  I tried really hard not to laugh when she told us about it.  Here are the girls with their favorite movie:

John and I get to deal with fun things like plumbing repairs and finances.  We did go to the symphony this month, but I was so exhausted that John took me home during intermission!  My highlight of the month was getting my first blog book in the mail.  I have wanted to do this for years and I even tried a few times on Blurb, but I got so frustrated that I gave up.  My friend Tawnya recommended blog2print and it is so easy!  It is a bit on the expensive side so I just did my first year of blogging--2008.  By the end of this year, I want to print a book for each of the other years 2009-2012.  I was very impressed by my sweet husband who read every page of the book and congratulated me on recording our family history.

Aunt Lavender

Here I am (sans makeup) with my sweet baby girl.  I am her mother.  Plain and simple.  I may be a little older than the typical mother of a six month old, but I don't think about it very often.

On Saturday we were excited to celebrate our granddaughter Leighton's first birthday.  We were hurrying to get ready for the party.  I wrapped her gift and got out her card. Then Lavender reminded me that she was hungry.  I sat down to nurse for a few minutes.  When we finished, I picked up the birthday card and started to write, "L-o-v-e" then I paused realizing that I needed to write "Grandma."  I love being a grandma to my two sweet girls, but it was a strange thing to finish nursing my baby and then sign my name as Grandma.  It made me stop and smile!

This evening John and I took a walk with Lavender and Marianne.  As John pushed the stroller down the street,  a neighbor got out of his car and was heading towards his house.  He stopped and asked if he could see the baby.  He admired her and then looked at the three of us.  He looked a little confused and his eyes settled on Marianne.  Finally he asked, "Is this your daughter?"  I quickly pointed to Marianne and explained, "She is our oldest daughter."  Then I gestured to Lavender saying, "and this is our youngest daughter."  The man was amazed at the age difference and congratulated me.  As we continued our walk and turned the corner, Marianne started laughing.  She said, "I wanted to tell him that you also have two granddaughters.  That would have really confused him!"  We all laughed and agreed it was probably best to keep our story simple!

And it is simple.  We are one big happy family!  Lavender has five older siblings (including Molly of course) who love and care for her and two little nieces to play with.  I am excited to see them grow up together!

Utah Part 3 - Fun Stuff

Yes, there is still more to post about our trip to Utah!

I told you about John's wonderful sister Susan, but I didn't tell you about his other sister Jean.  She is wonderful in her own right.  Jean and her husband Mark homeschooled their three oldest children and then when their baby was 13, they had a bonus baby.  So John and I really aren't weird, we're just following in the footsteps of his big sister.  Gotta love a good family tradition!

Jean, John and Susan

Jean is also special because that little bonus baby became the only cousin on John's side of the family that isn't older than all of my kids. Kevin is just a year older than Marianne.  Evan and Josh have a great time with him when they get together.

Kevin, Evan and Marianne goofing off at Stadium of Fire

We also made the most of our time in Utah by hitting up the BYU Creamery.  Marianne insists we make it part of any trip to Utah.  The rest of us go along to keep her happy whether we like it or not. Do you  notice the sun shining down on this ice cream?  This is clearly a sign from the heavens.

Another highlight of the trip was our apricot picking adventure.  John's parents lived around the corner from Susan in a house built on a cherry orchard.  John's dad made sure the builder kept as many cherry trees as possible when their home was constructed.  Consequently, the family spent many hours picking cherries together.  Now the home belongs to someone else and we don't go cherry picking.  Fortunately, Susan's neighbor came over asking for a bit of help and offering to let us pick apricots from her tree.  Several years ago the tree fell over and the trunk is now parallel to the ground, but the huge tree still produces an abundance of apricots!

We also had dinner with John's good friend Marty who was the best man at our wedding.  Yes, Marty is holding a baby toy.  No, I don't know why.  And for some reason, although they live in the Las Vegas area, we could only manage to see them in Utah!

Here we are with Marty's wife Charlaan and their own little bonus baby Anna who is 10 years younger than her big brother.  Can you tell that she and Lavender connected?

The most fun we had in Utah may have been at Stadium of Fire.  We all had a great time rockin' out to the Beach Boys, despite the fact that Elder Aaron declared, "I didn't know they were still alive!" The crowded bleacher benches were not the most comfortable, especially when nursing a baby in a sling.  Fortunately, there was plenty of room below us and we were able to sit with our backs against the wall and our feet out on the benches.  Much more comfy and it gave us a great view of the concert and the fireworks!

Finally, I have to document that Lavender was an absolute angel throughout our trip.  She slept well despite being out long past her bedtime most nights.  She even slept through the fireworks.  I kept her in the sling and I covered her years, which I think helped!

She was a champ in the car and cried very little.  In fact, she cried more on our drive to SLC than she did on the rest of the trip.  I think she loved being seated between Marianne and Evan and having their undivided attention!

Part 4 of our trip will be coming in a few days!

Utah Part 2 - Aunt Susan and Cousins!

John's wonderful mom passed away 22 years ago.  She was a devoted grandmother, but my kids never got know her.  Thankfully, they did have a close relationship with their grandpa, until he passed away in 2006.  John's oldest sister Susan has always been kind and thoughtful, but since the death of her parents, she really took the reins to keep the family together.  She has kind of taken on the role of grandma to my kids. We travel to Utah once or twice a year and we almost always stay with Susan.  It hasn't been easy to have all (sometimes six!) of us there, but she is always a gracious hostess and we feel at home.  I shouldn't fail to mention her husband Dave.  He is lots of fun and keeps all of us laughing.

 Here are a few pictures so you can see what I mean.  Every time we see Dave, we have pictures like this!

 My kids love our trips to Utah because they get to see their cousins.  On John's side of the family, all of their cousins except one are older than them.  But they have a great time with their cousin's kids.

It was fun to introduce Lavender to her cousins, especially to Holly.  There is a 40 year age difference between them and they are first cousins!  Holly is Susan's daughter and she usually does the cooking while we are there.  Holly plans and prepares delicious, healthy dinners at lightning speed!

Marianne and Evan have a great time with Holly's son Josh.  He and Evan are pretty much inseparable.

We had a fun time with the rest of Susan and Dave's grandkids too.  They are my kids' first cousins once removed.

Malia, Anya, Kate, Natalie, Reagan, Maddie, Hudson and Max

Marianne especially had fun with Max, who appreciates a good self portrait as much as she does!

Here is Kate holding Sophie who apparently missed the big cousin photo shoot above.

      Finally, here is Lavender with the newest cousin Landon who was too young to join the party.

Father's Day

Since my dad is on vacation, I didn't get to spend Father's Day with him this year.  I miss him, but I know he is having a wonderful trip!  Evan spoke in Sacrament Meeting about the 3 P's of fatherhood (preside, provide and protect).  He gave a wonderful talk and told about John's dad who worked 2 jobs for 17 years to provide for his family.  He worked at the post office all day and then cleaned the bank in the evenings.  Sometimes he took his children along and they thought it was a special treat to get to help their dad.

After church we celebrated at home with all the Happy Hartz except Elder Aaron.  We made John some of his favorite foods and Molly made Ryan's favorite CPK-style salad. 

Our main course was Beef Stroganoff. I think I've made this once or twice during the past 25 years.  I rarely cook with beef.  In fact, the kids were amazed to see the steak I bought.  Here is the recipe I used from the Lion House cookbook.  It really is yummy.

Beef Stroganoff

1 clove garlic cut into quarters (I used more)
3 tablespoons olive oil
1 1/2 lbs lean round or sirloin steak cut into thin bite sized pieces (1 inch x 1/4 inch thick)
1/3 cup chopped onion
1 tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper
1/2 lb fresh sliced mushrooms
1/4 cup flour
2 cups milk
3/4 tsp paprika
1 cup sour cream
hot cooked egg noodles

Heat garlic in oil for a few minutes, then remove and discard garlic.  Add meat to skillet; brown slightly.  Add onion, salt and pepper.  Cover and cook for 35-45 minutes until meat is tender, turning occasionally.  Add more water as needed. Add mushrooms and cook until tender, about 10 minutes.

With slotted spoon remove meat and mushrooms.  Keep warm.  Blend flour into drippings in pan.  Slowly stir in milk.  Cook and stir over medium heat until mixture thickens.  Add paprika and stir. Add meat and mushrooms and sour cream.  Mix and heat well, but do not cook.

Serve over egg noodles.  Serves 6.

For dessert we had rice krispie treats and homemade rocky road ice cream. Here is the easy recipe we used.

Rocky Road Ice Cream

14 oz can sweetened condensed milk
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
2 cups heavy cream
1 cup light cream
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
3/4 cup chopped pecans
 1 cup mini marshmallows.

In medium saucepan over low heat, cook and stir condensed milk and cocoa until smooth and slightly thickened, approx 5 min.  Remove from heat and allow to cool slightly.  Stir in heavy cream, light cream and vanilla. Refrigerate until cool.

Pour mixture into ice cream maker and freeze according to directions.  Add nuts and marshmallows halfway through.  Yum!

Here we are after dinner.  He liked it!

 

John with all of our children and grandchildren (except Elder Aaron of course)

There are 10 of us now. We're getting to be quite a group!

 

We are happy to see Ryan being a good husband to Molly and father to his girls.

Now if we can just get him to stop these cheesy poses.

Lavender didn't get to taste any of the food on her first Father's Day, 

but she did find something else yummy--her thumb!

Hope you and yours had a wonderful Father's Day!