Monday, May 30, 2011

How I met and married Mr. Right

When John and I got engaged, my Dad sent me a funny card that said,

"For every young lady, there is a Mr. Right"

Inside it read,
"Yours lives in Calcutta with his mother and nine sisters."

Fortunately, the road to meeting and marrying John was much shorter than a trip to India.



Long before I met John, I heard all about him.

During my sophomore year at BYU, my roommate’s boyfriend liked to tell us funny stories about his friends. One of them was named John.

That summer my friend Tammy called to tell me that John was doing an internship in her hometown and they were in the same singles ward. I started to tease Tammy about having a crush on him, but she assured me that they were “just friends”. She told me that her parents were really disappointed because they thought John was a great guy with a lot of potential. They kept trying to convince Tammy that she should date John, but she wasn’t interested.

Back at BYU in the fall, Tammy told me that she needed my help one afternoon. She explained that her parents had called and asked her if she was sure she wasn’t interested in John. She sighed and repeated that they were just friends. Her parents insisted that she introduce him to her older sister Wendy (who hadn’t been home during the summer) in case she was interested. What followed was one of the most awkward introductions I have ever seen.

Tammy called John and explained the situation. He good-naturedly agreed to come over. The three of us walked over to Wendy’s apartment and stood on the doorstep while Tammy introduced John. Wendy politely said hello, but didn’t even invite us inside. I don’t think she was too thrilled with her parents’ attempt at matchmaking. After a few ums and ahs, it was clear that no sparks were flying and we left. Tammy could report to her parents that she’d introduced John to Wendy and we’d see what happened.

Meanwhile I was enjoying my junior year and casually dating a couple of guys. John was over at our apartment occasionally. One time I remember him teasing us when we were trying to watch a movie. Another time he came over when I was baking cookies and sampled some of the cookie dough before I could get it in the oven.

In November it was time for “Preference”, the infamous girl’s choice dance. I didn’t want to ask either of the guys I’d been dating because I didn’t want them to think I was seriously interested in them. I mulled over what to do and finally I came up with the choice to ask someone “safe”. Someone who wouldn’t think I was pursuing him. I decided John was a good choice. I whipped up a batch of cookie dough and wrote a poem. Then we drove to his house and doorbell ditched him.

He called me and agreed to go to the dance and then asked if I’d like to go to the football game with him that weekend. During the football game, I’m not sure what happened, but suddenly I noticed how cute and funny he was. I was annoyed when his friend Marty asked for a ride home after the game. Three was definitely a crowd, but I knew I had Preference to look forward to.

Our whole apartment went as a group to Preference. We girls came up with an elaborate scheme that involved blindfolding the guys and driving them around before finally ending up at McDonald’s where we ate our hamburgers on fine china while drinking sparkling cider from crystal goblets. After dinner we piled into a big van and I was disappointed that John and I ended up in the bucket seats so we weren’t even sitting together. As the night progressed, he did hold my hand and I felt sparks flying. I hoped that he was as interested in me as I was in him!

I got my answer the next night when he dropped off a thank you poem at my apartment and invited me to come over to his house. A few of us went over and watched his missionary slides in the basement. I also got to meet his parents for the first time. I was impressed with how sweet his mom was.

From then on, we spent quite a bit of time together. We kept “accidentally” running into each other in the reserve reading room at the library.

During Christmas break John came to southern California for the Holiday Bowl. BYU was playing Michigan and afterwards, John was coming to visit me for a few days. I was so excited for my family to meet him. We went to the beach and even to the Rose Parade.

Back in Provo, John decided it was time for a serious talk. I was definitely not ready to get married yet, and John knew this so he managed to have an entire conversation without ever mentioning the word marriage. At the end, we both knew we were going to get married although we’d never used the dreaded “M” word.

I knew John was going to “pop the question” and I figured that since Valentine’s Day was approaching, that would be the day. But John didn’t want to be too predictable. He wanted to surprise me.

A few days later, I arrived home to find a FedEx envelope in my mailbox. When I opened it, I found a resume and cover letter from John. This was not surprising since he was getting ready to graduate from BYU and was applying for his first real job. What was different about this resume and letter were that they were recommending John as a husband. This was his formal proposal. I couldn’t believe my eyes and just then John popped in with a dozen roses. He fell to his knees and proposed in person. Of course I said “yes!”

My parents were very happy and supportive as were John’s parents. John’s mom said she had been hoping we’d get married since the first time she met me.

The only people who weren’t thrilled about our engagement were Tammy’s parents who were disappointed that their daughters had let a good guy get away!

A few months later, John and I were sealed for time and all eternity in the Los Angeles Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am so very grateful for John! He is gentle and loving. He is a wonderful father and a worthy priesthood holder. I love him dearly and I will always be grateful that we found each other at BYU so many years ago. Oh, and for the record, he only has two sisters.

Happy Anniversary John!

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Sweet Sunday - The Elephant in the Room

No, not that elephant.

This elephant!

This picture was taken a couple of days before our big garage sale.
Marianne had decided to donate the largest member of her elephant collection
and took a few farewell photos.
She also captured the disaster area that was my living room.
The couches were piled with baby clothes and the room was full of
hangers, cardboard boxes and bags full of (hopefully) saleable items.

The mess wouldn't have been so bad, except I was feeling "messy" inside.
I was overwhelmed, worried and sad.
The joy I strive to feel in life seemed pretty elusive,
I was even irritated by the (literal) elephant in the room.

I had already forgotten the joy I felt a few hours earlier
when Brianne stopped by for a quick elephant ride.

In that moment I had been very grateful for the elephant
and the joy it brought to my granddaughter.

The scriptures are full of admonitions to remember:

"Remember his marvellous works that he hath done, his wonders, and the judgments of his mouth." 1 Chronicles 16:12

"And I would exhort you, my beloved brethren, that ye remember that every good gift cometh of Christ." Moroni 10:18

Sometimes it takes an elephant to help me remember, but remembering really does help me find the joy in life! Do you ever struggle to find joy in life? What helps you to remember?

"[Wo]men are, that they might have joy." 2 Nephi 2:25

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Hope you can join us!


Millennial Scholar Academy presents


Set in the roaring 20s
complete with
gangsters, bootleggers, flappers and more!

Friday, May 27 at 7 pm
Saturday May 28 at 2 pm

North County Church of Christ
130 Woodward Ave
Escondido, CA 92025

$5 per person
$20 per family

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Think Pink Garage Sale

I learned that:

  • garage sales are hard work
  • people love pink cupcakes
  • Brenda is the lead fundraiser on our team
  • Jenny looks great in pink
  • our friends are very generous in donating items to sell
  • our husbands are very patient
  • you should wear sunscreen unless you want your face to match your cupcakes
  • we can raise over $800 in one morning!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Did you know?

This little May flower turned one!
And boy did she love her cake.
Almost as much as we love her.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Sweet Sunday - Clean up Edition!

I understand the shock of pain when you drop a brick on your foot. I know the frustration and even fury that arises while raising children and (especially) teenagers. Unfortunately, at such times, words we wouldn't want grandma to hear may burst forth.

But we know better. At least I thought we did. I have noticed a disturbing trend over the past few years. Words that used to be considered off-limits are suddenly popping up in mainstream books, magazines and even mommy blogs.

I have chosen to avoid certain media because I knew they contained language I considered foul. But it the past couple of years something has changed. Suddenly the "f" word is no longer considered taboo. I am careful in my choice of reading, but profanity is becoming increasingly difficult to avoid!

The popularity of profanity saddens me. The word "profane" has its roots in Latin.

pro = instead of

fanum = temple

So when we use obscene or profane language, we are choosing something instead of the temple; we are choosing unholy words. Often this type of language mocks the sacred: the name of God or the God-given power of procreation.

Elder Dallin H Oaks said, "For many in our day, the profane has become commonplace and the vulgar has become acceptable. Surely this is one fulfillment of the Book of Mormon prophecy that in the last days 'there shall be great pollutions upon the face of the earth.'" (Mormon 8:31)

I challenge each of us to clean up our own language! I hope that we can avoid watching, reading or listening to profanity and speak up as Elder Oaks suggested "so that others cannot conclude that our silence means approval or acquiescence."

“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.” Proverbs 5:14

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

My Walking Secrets - Part 3

Jenny and I have had some weird things happen while walking. I've shared a few of them here and here.

When you walk regularly, you tend to see the same people day in and day out. Of course you say hello and almost feel like friends although you don't know their names.

A few years ago on a cold (well San Diego cold that it!) December morning I hadn't met up with Jenny yet, when I saw a fellow walker approaching. He wasn't one of the "regulars," but he had a smile on his face. I politely said, "hello" and he responded cheerily, "Thanks so much for your Christmas card. My wife and I really enjoyed it!"

This man was a complete stranger, so I was surprised. I felt like I should say something, but what was the appropriate response?

"You must have me confused with someone else."
"Hey, I didn't send you a Christmas card!"
"Who are you, buddy?"
"You're welcome!"

I slowed down wondering if I should turn around to respond, but he was on his was without a backward glance. I decided that the next time I saw him I would say something.

We both kept walking and I never saw him again!


3-Day For the Cure Update:

  • I have walked over 200 miles
  • I just started my official training schedule
  • I have raised over $1000
  • Our team, Annie's Angels has raised over $4000.
  • We are having a Think Pink Garage Sale this weekend. All the money raised will go toward breast cancer research. Please email me if you have items to donate or want to come shop.
  • I just read Promise Me: How a Sister's Love Launched the Global Movement to End Breast Cancer. It is exciting to see how much progress has been made in the last 30 years.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Happy Birthday Aaron!


Nineteen years ago
You came to earth bringing peace
Thank you for your gift

Nineteen years ago
A baby fresh from heaven
Now a righteous man

Nineteen years from now
You'll be husband and father
Forever my son

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Thank goodness it's a paperback

What would you say if I suggested you read a 638 page book . . . about Benedictine nuns? I have to admit it doesn't sound too appealing.


But I just finished In This House of Brede by Rumer Godden and WOW! I want to re-read it already. This beautifully written book satisfied my desire for a good story, brought me peace and taught me some important lessons about leadership.

In case you need some page turning excitement, the book also has mystery, tragedy, theft, poetry, love and even promiscuity (okay that last one only applies to the cat).

In the characters of Dame Philippa and Dame Catherine, Godden shows us two very different women who are both great leaders.

Philippa Talbot is a powerful businesswoman who gives up a successful career and comfortable life to enter a monastery and become a nun at age 42. Philippa knows how to be in charge and get things done, but as she turns her life over to God, she develops her ability to submit to authority and be a supportive and respectful "follower." When she takes the vow of obedience, she understands that it means "submitting your will, even when it goes against [your] grain; giving up your judgment and accepting your superiors--even a a weak superior." Dame Philippa has many opportunities to use her connections and leadership skills, but she humbly offers help through quiet suggestions to the Abbess. She learns that her strongest connection is to God and seeks to access His power through fervent prayer.

Dame Catherine is stunned and terrified when she is elected Abbess of the House of Brede. She knows "she must lead and inspire every hour of the twenty-four hours of each day until she dies." She has no desire to "bear that awesome responsibility" and "consent to be the representative of Christ." She cries in the chapel and whispers, "I can't" until her panic is quieted and she accepts her responsibility to God saying, "I can't . . . so You must."

With God's help, Abbess Catherine becomes a marvelous leader:

She does what is right even when she knows some will disagree
She allows others to save face whenever possible
She keeps confidences and respects privacy
She is patient in looking for solutions to problems
She is creative and not afraid of change
She is honest, but doesn't speak ill of others
She allows people to choose their own way
She doesn't seek to blame
She trusts in God that things will work out

I think most of us can relate to the way Catherine felt. We don't really want to have to do such hard things! Yet, each of us will be called upon to lead in some way during our life. We might as well learn some of these lessons by watching others instead of having to learn them the hard way "on the job." I am grateful for the examples of leadership Godden provides in this beautiful novel.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Sweet Sunday - Mother's Day

Parenting Lessons from Mom
1. Be a parent, not a friend.
As an adult, mom was one of my dearest friends. But when I was a child and adolescent, my mom made it clear that she was the parent. She didn't worry that her kids wouldn't like her if she had strict rules or high standards. She expected her children to be respectful to her and other adults.

2. Unique, not equal.
Each of my mother's children think they are her favorite. Why? Mom never tried to treat us all equally, instead she raised us as unique individuals. Over the years, there were different curfews and individual rules. But there were also special trips, unique gifts and time alone with each of us. Dad gets credit for this one too!

3. Apologize and forgive.
Before her children could even speak she taught them to give hugs to say "sorry". Later she explained that it was sometimes best to apologize even if the other person was at fault. We learned that humility and love will open doors and heal relationships. Mom didn't just teach us this, she lived it.

4. Priorities.
Mom knew that children learn what is most important by watching their parents. Mom lived the gospel every day of her life. We saw her pray and study the scriptures daily. We saw her serve faithfully in her church callings and at the temple. We also knew that family was important because Mom put us first. Family time was special and extended family relationships were cherished. There was never a doubt that the Lord and the family were Mom's priorities.

I am grateful that my mom understood the sacred responsibility of motherhood. She is a great example to me!

Mom and me (about age 3)
on our front porch

Photography by Dad

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Retail Therapy

This has been a rough week for me. Everywhere I look there are signs or ads for Mother's Day. I have written previously that Mother's Day is not my favorite holiday. This year it is just a sad reminder that my mom isn't here to celebrate with us.

But I realize I have many reasons to be grateful. In fact, my week started out on a high note!

I got to have a quick overnight getaway with John. We went to a movie and out to dinner, and best of all, we had time alone together! While he was working the next day, I got a much needed pedicure. I haven't had one since last year so my feet were in pretty bad shape. I even had time to do a little shopping and I found these cute and comfy sandals. I may or may not have come home and ordered them in three other colors.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Sweet Sunday

Happy May Day! Your virtual basket and flowers are HERE!

And in honor of May Day, I have another gift for you. I want to share a story I read recently. It is called "Alone in the Garden." The author tells of an "extraordinary experience" she had while visiting the garden tomb in Jerusalem. Click HERE to read it.
Withhold not thou thy tender mercies from me, O Lord: let thy loving kindness and thy truth continually preserve me. Psalms 40:11