Introducing

Lavender Jane
Born February 23, 2012
4:23 PM
6 lbs 3 oz
17 3/4 in

This is supposed to taste just like Panera Bread's

In an effort to reassure the world myself that I am still capable of cooking dinner, I am posting this recipe for the soup I made on Sunday.  This also guarantees that I will be able to find this recipe the next time I want to make it. 

Broccoli Cheese Soup - Serves 8

1 onion, diced
1/2 cup butter melted, plus 2 T for sauteing onions
1/2 cup flour
4 cups half and half or milk
4 cups chicken broth
1 pound broccoli, chopped
2 cups carrots, chopped or shredded
2 tsp salt (to taste)
1/2 tsp pepper (to taste)
4 cups grated cheddar cheese (could use less)
1/2 tsp nutmeg

Saute onion and 2T butter over med heat until translucent.  Set aside.

In another pan, whisk 1/2 c melted butter and flour for 3-4 min.  Slowly add half and half while whisking.  Continue whisking while adding chicken broth.  Simmer for 20 min.

Add broccoli, carrots and sauteed onions.  Cook over low heat until veggies are tender. (Maybe 20 min?)  Add salt and pepper.

Blend until it is as smooth as you like it.  Over low heat, add cheese until melted and well blended.  Stir in nutmeg. 

Crazy Things A Good Mom Does

I'm not sure if these prove that I'm crazy or that I'm a good mom.  Take your pick.

Evidence #1
So, we've come up with a name for the baby.  What do you think of Flipper?  Okay, not really.  But it should be her nickname.  She gets in the perfect "ready to be born" position for a day or two and then during the night she flips into a breech position.  We are trying several methods to convince her to keep her head down, but the funniest one is playing music down where her head it supposed to be.  It's not so bad when I'm in the car.  I just hit shuffle and put my phone on the seat when I sit down.  But at home my family thinks I am really weird.  Marianne is a good sport though and has been choosing music she thinks the baby will like.  This morning it was September by Earth, Wind and Fire.  It actually did wake her up and get her moving.  Now if we can just keep her moving in the right direction!

Evidence #2
Elder Aaron has been a missionary for four months now and I kind of feel like THIS.  So when Aaron mentioned a couple of Korean books that would be really helpful "if they're not too expensive," I set out to find them.  The first one was easy to find and inexpensive.  The second one I had to order from Seoul Selection.  And that isn't just a catchy name.  It is in Seoul, Korea.  It was reasonably priced so I placed my order.  As I was checking out, I realized that the shipping rate from Seoul was a bit more than I expected.  But hey, what mom doesn't want her missionary son to have the best in Korean grammar books?!  I figured it was kind of like contributing to the church missionary fund.  To make matters worse, I mistakenly thought that shipping rates to Toronto would be about the same as to New York.  Just take a look at the map.  Wrong.  Next time I have a package for my missionary, I might just fly there and give it to him in person!

What Didn't Happen At My Baby Shower

On Saturday I had an absolutely lovely baby shower.  I will tell you all about it soon but first I want to tell you what happened after the shower.  Saturday was pretty much consumed by the baby shower.  There was a van full of gifts to unload, a stroller to put together, toys to play with, clothes to sort, stories to tell and delicious leftovers to eat for dinner.

So it was no surprise that Sunday morning found us talking about the shower again.  When John and I woke up I told him about my funny dream.  He sighed and said, "I wish what you told me earlier was just a dream."  I was puzzled and asked him what he meant.

"You know, about the couch," he patiently explained.  "How you wanted to talk to some of your friends and when you sat down on the couch . . . it broke."

I started laughing and assured him that I hadn't broken any furniture at the shower.  He decided he must have dreamed it and told me, "I am so relieved.  I didn't want to have to call Drew (the hostess' husband) and find out how much I owed him for the couch."

My husband has been wonderful all through this pregnancy telling me how beautiful I look.  But now I have proof that he has noticed I have put on a little weight!

In Other News

Whew! That was a whole lot of birth stories.  I tried to keep out anything even remotely graphic to please some of my readers, but for Rachel or anyone else who wants to know about that sign that let me know I was  heading into labor, click  HERE.   I think we'll take a little break from that subject while I tell you what everyone has been up to in the past week.

John spent most of the week in Orlando.  Sounds like fun, but he was in meetings the whole time. He did get to go to Sea World one evening, but everything was closed. It was okay though, because everyone got to help with a service project.  They worked in teams to build prosthetic hands.  These were not life-like prosthetics, rather they were basic open and close models that could grasp and pick up items.  I believe they were donated to those in need.  John really enjoyed that experience.  We missed him and were glad to have him back home!

My excitement for the week was getting my hair done.  It had been too long!  I also had my weekly doctor's appointment and found out that I now get to go in for non-stress tests twice a week.  I had my first two and it is pretty simple--just monitoring and everything looks good.  I went ahead and scheduled them for the rest of the month.  I figured I had better plan ahead since I now have 3 appointments a week.

Molly got her wisdom teeth out last week.  Not a fun time, but everything went well and now it's over!  We got to help out with the girls while Ryan was at work and Molly was getting a little rest and recovering.  The girls were really good and cute as ever.  Leighton loved the baby swing at the park and laughed every time Evan gave her a gentle push.  Brianne, on the other hand was a little nervous about the swings.  She did like it when Evan pushed her really fast in the stroller though.  Go figure!

Brianne smelling a flower before our walk

Later that day, Marianne was sitting on the piano bench talking to me.  Brianne came over and insisted that Marianne move.  Her vocabulary is still growing, but she made it very clear than she wanted Marianne to get off the piano bench.  As soon as Marianne got up, Brianne carefully set her little Duplo lego guy on the bench and went on happily playing.  Apparently that was HIS seat that Marianne was sitting in!

Aaron sends us emails once a week on his p-day.  We all look forward to Mondays!  Last week he told us that at the end of Sacrament Meeting in the Korean branch, his companion mentioned that the whole meeting had been about missionary work.  Aaron was surprised and had no idea that had been the topic!  He asked me to order a Korean dictionary and grammar book for him.  Ha!  I emailed him his birth story from my blog and he responded today saying he had no idea there was so much involved.  He just thought he happened to be the "good, easy baby."


Marianne's highlight of the week was getting her braces off!  When I picked her up at the orthodontist, it looked like her birthday.  She had balloons, a Target gift card, movie passes, a frozen yogurt gift card and a gift certificate for a professional photo shoot.  All I remember getting was a retainer!

Before

After

Doesn't she look great?!

Evan got to go to Knott's Berry Farm for completing all the work in his Pyramid Project class.  He loved all the rollercoasters and especially the "Windseeker" ride which is like a giant swing ride.  He saw a fellow rider lose his phone in the water below the ride.  He said it was funny, but not if it's your phone. He has also been playing basketball with the YM in the stake and our ward's team made it to the championship game.    They lost by just one point!  He has been riding his bike to the games, which makes his mom very nervous because it is often dark outside.  He does wear a reflective vest to appease me and stays on the sidewalks on the major streets.  He assures me this is necessary since he is training for a triathalon. His father agrees, so I have been outvoted.

Evan is Born

I didn't realize I was expecting Evan until I was 2-3 months along.  My only symptom was fatigue.  I was blessed to have a very easy pregnancy.  I even continued nursing baby Marianne for the first 5 or 6 months until she got tired of the dwindling supply.

I felt like I needed more work on relaxation before the birth.  I read several different books and combined various techniques and methods.  John worked with me several times a week to help me practice my relaxation.  I would tighten the muscles in one part of my body (for instance, my left arm) while I relaxed the rest of my body.  This was really hard for me and John encouraged me and kept me focused on relaxing.  It took quite a bit of time on his part and I was really grateful for his willingness to help me.

I had several ultrasounds during my pregnancy and my doctor suspected the baby was a boy, but we never got a really good look at him to be sure!

A week or so before his due date, I knew that the baby was on the way. Besides that unmentionable, unmistakeable sign,  I was having lots of contractions and I walked all over the neighborhood to move things along. That walking must have helped because I slept fairly well that night even though I was in labor.  I woke up at 3:45 AM and my water broke.  Around 5:00 I called my doctor to tell him we were heading to the hospital soon.

When we arrived at the hospital one of the first things they asked me was the date of my LMP.  I gave a date over 2 1/2 years earlier in 1995.  The nurse thought I was nuts and said, "Honey it is 1998."  I told her I understood and that I was giving her the correct date.  I explained that this was my 3rd pregnancy since 1995.  She wrote it down, but I'm still not sure she believed me!

When they got me into the room,  I was only at (you guessed it) 4 cm, but when I explained to the nurses how quickly I progress at the end, they said, "Oh we know!  We looked at your file from last time.  You barely got here in time."  They scolded me and said I should have come in sooner this time.  Oh well!

I was grateful to have so much to rely on:  a powerful priesthood blessing, relaxation techniques and positive affirmations to repeat.  I felt confident that my body knew how to do the work necessary to bring this baby into the world.

Once again my awesome doctor arrived right on time for the baby's arrival.  And once again he used massage and support to ensure that I wouldn't need any stiches afterwards.  My mom and Jenny also joined us just in time for the birth.  The whole labor had been pretty peaceful and painless.  But when I started pushing, I was in for a surprise.  It was really hard and it hurt!  Then all of a sudden Doctor Dave told me to stop.  He was so calm and I listened to him, but I noticed that the rest of the medical staff was scurrying around.  Afterwards, my sister told me that the umbilical cord had been tightly wrapped around Evan's neck three times!  The doctor just kept calmly talking to me as he removed all three loops of cord.

The first thing we noticed about Evan was his big hands and feet.  He has spent his whole life growing into them!

Lessons I learned from Evan's birth:

• It is important to have a doctor I really trust.
• I know my own body and can trust it to do the hard work necessary.
• I don't need to be intimidated by the nurses or medical staff. Besides, most of them are awesome.
• My husband just keeps getting better with every year of our marriage.

Marianne's Arrival

I became pregnant with Marianne soon after a miscarriage at 13 weeks.  As a result, I spent much of my pregnancy worrying.  Fortunately, I had plenty to keep my mind off my worries; our life was full of change.  John got a new job in San Diego and came home on the weekends.  Meanwhile we got ready to move.  We sold our home in Lancaster and bought our current home. I was 7 months pregnant when we moved and I found a great new doctor who also happened to be in our ward bishopric. He did the first ultrasound of my pregnancy and declared we were having a girl.  I was excited, but a little doubtful.  I bought a few baby girl outfits, but I decided to wait and see for myself if she was really a girl!

Life was happy and hectic.  I honestly don't remember how much time I spent preparing for the birth.  I know that I reviewed my affirmations to use during labor and I practiced a little relaxation.  By the first of July, I was definitely ready to have my baby. In the summer heat, I had become terribly swollen and couldn't fit in any of my shoes.  Unfortunately, the baby wasn't ready to come until more than a week after her due date.  My sister had come out from Virginia and I worried she would have to fly home without getting to see the baby.  She was very helpful with cooking, cleaning and babysitting while I went to bed early every night.

I was so excited when I finally had that sign of impending labor (which shall remain unnamed) and started contracting.  I spent the whole day in labor and went to my doctor's appointment that afternoon.  I was disappointed that he couldn't find much evidence that the baby was on the way, but he told me it was fine to call him at home later on, assuming this really was labor.  There was no question in my mind!  John and I spent the evening in our room while Jenny took care of the boys.  My labor was harder than with Aaron and I struggled to find comfortable positions.  Around 10:00 PM, I started to feel some pain so I called my doctor at home and let him know that we would definitely be heading to the hospital in a few hours.  A priesthood blessing, relaxing music, positive affirmations and relying on the Lord allowed me to labor fairly peacefully with minimal pain until we left for the hospital.

We got to the hospital around 1:30 AM and I was surprised to learn that I was only at 4 cm.  The nurse put my tape in the stereo system, turned down the lights and said, "Well, we'll have a baby sometime later today."  Then she shut the door and walked out.  I was shocked!  I remember saying,"John, she doesn't realize I'm having this baby now!"

He called her back to the room and was able to convince her to call our doctor.  She was skeptical, but finally agreed.  If she hadn't, we would have just called him ourselves.  He arrived in the nick of time to deliver Marianne.  Like Aaron, she was born after just a few minutes of pushing.  My water broke during one of my final pushes and out she came--less than an hour after we had arrived at the hospital! And yes, I really progressed from 4 to 10 cm in about 45 minutes.

What a beautiful birth!  The music was playing and baby really was a lovely little girl.  One of the nurses even commented on what a great feeling was in the room.  I knew it was the Spirit.  And it wasn't marred a bit by the laughter that ensued once our beautiful girl pooped on me.  The nurses were worried about possible meconium aspiration, but that was quickly ruled out.  Our sweet Marianne was here!!

Lessons I Learned from Marianne's Birth:

• Worrying only makes things worse
• Sisters are wonderful
• My timing is not God's timing
• If I pay attention, I can feel my child's spirit during labor and birth
• Birth can be a very spiritual experience

Aaron's Birth

Shortly after Aaron was born, I wrote about his birth and how I prepared for it.  I mention this so you will know I am not relying on 20 year old memories to tell this story.  Nor have I  have conveniently "forgotten" the pain over the years.

With the exception of a minute or two, Aaron's birth was in fact, pain-free.  Really.  The whole labor and the delivery.  Yes, I felt pressure and I was uncomfortable at times, but I wasn't in pain.  How did this happen?

 Preparation!

Well before Aaron's birth I began working to deal with my fears, to free myself from the need to be in control, to forgive myself and others (remember that rude nurse I told you about last time) and to develop trust in my current doctor, the nurses and my own body.

I am blessed to have parents who believed in the possibility of a pain-free birth and who knew how to help me emotionally heal from the previous birth and prepare for the upcoming one.  Working with my parents helped to calm and prepare me.  I knew I needed to change my mindset and think of contractions as "work" rather than "labor pains."  I prepared a list of things to say to myself during labor and I reviewed them each night. 

 I also prepared by practicing relaxation techniques and labor positions with my husband for several weeks before I had the baby.  My natural inclination was to tighten up when I felt a contraction, so I needed to learn to relax the rest of my body during a contraction.

 Aaron was really a very considerate baby.  He came about 8 days early and he got his dad out of a rather boring business meeting!  I had lots of irregular contractions and other signs of impending labor (remember, I promised nothing graphic).  The next day I knew it was the  baby's birthday!  All day long I had regular (but painless) contractions and I worked to look forward to every contraction and how I was a little closer to having my baby.

During this time I also turned everything over to God.  John gave me a beautiful  priesthood blessing that helped me feel peaceful and confident.

 When we went to the hospital about 5 PM, I was only dialated to 4 cm and they wanted to send me home.  I looked so calm that they couldn't believe I was really in labor.  I convinced them to let me stay and my doctor came and broke my water.  Of course the contractions became stronger, but I was fine as I quietly repeated aloud all the affirmations I had prepared.  From 6:30 to 7:30  I was in transition.  I layed on my left side listening to soothing music that I had listened to during my relaxation practice.  John put his hands on my back to support me.  He reminded me to relax and let the contractions do their work.  He encouraged me and told me that every contraction was one less I needed to have.  I continued repeating the things I had practiced.

 What helped me the most was to remember that the Savior had already suffered the pain of birth.  I told myself that Jesus Christ loved me and did not want we to suffer and that I could turn it over to Him.  I said this aloud too.  I only felt pain at one time when I changed my position and I let some fear creep in.

 At one point the nurse checked me and said I was at 8 cm and hadn't progressed at all since the last time she checked.  I quickly forgave her because I knew I was progressing.  I continued to visualize my body preparing for birth.  Five or ten minutes later I was ready to push.  The nurse was disbelieving and hesitated, but John insisted she get the doctor.  After about 5 minutes of painless pushing, our baby was born.  I was so excited that his birth had been a beautiful, positive experience.

 Although I never had an ultrasound during my pregnancy, I was sure that our baby was a girl.  When the doctor said, "It's a boy!"  I was so surprised that I turned to John and asked, "Is it really a boy?"  Everyone must have thought I was crazy. 

 During the pregnancy, we spent a lot of time discussing names for our baby girl.  One day I thought we should choose a boy's name, just in case.  Suddenly the name Aaron James came into my mind.  It surprised me because I had never particularly liked the name Aaron.  But John immediately agreed and we wrote it down.  So when Aaron was born, I asked John, "Do you still want to call him Aaron James?"  We both felt like it was supposed to be his name.  I have always felt like it was a name I received through revelation.

 Lessons I learned from Aaron's birth:

• Birth doesn't have to be a painful experience
• Labor is work, like running a race, but there is a wonderful prize at the finish line
• Forgiveness, trust and gratitude bring the Spirit
• Preparation brings peace
• Rely on the Lord in all things

The Day Ryan was Born

Ryan's birth was a very traumatic experience for both of us.  It started out easily enough.  My water broke early in the morning, but I wasn't really in labor.  In hindsight, I know that I needed to take a long walk and to keep walking to get things moving.  My labors start off very slow, gentle and gradual, but I didn't know that yet.

Instead of taking a walk, I went to the hospital and stayed in bed.  Soon I was given Pitocin to induce labor.  For the rest of the day I was officially in labor, but it didn't feel like I thought (or read, or heard) labor was supposed to feel.  Rather than contractions that came in waves, I had constant pain that went from bad to worse.  That night, a nurse told me I would have a baby "tomorrow."  That made me so mad and I determined I was having my baby "tonight."  And I did.  After 2 1/2 hours of pushing my baby boy was born just before midnight. 

Despite having a bruised head from the monitor that had been corkscrewed into his scalp and a lung that threatened to collapse, Ryan was beautiful and healthy.  Everyone who saw him commented on what a gorgeous boy he was.

I was also bruised and felt like collapsing, but I was not quite so gorgeous.  I had made it through the grueling 20 hour labor through sheer muscle and willpower.  I did it without any medication, but it certainly wasn't the beautiful, natural experience I had hoped for.

When Ryan was a couple of hours old, a new nurse came into my room.  Her first question was, "So are you going to have more kids?" 

I was shocked and replied, "Well, I've always planned to!" 

Her next comment was even more insensitive.  "Those are the worst stretch marks I've ever seen.  You look like a zebra!"  I had no response to that one. 

I didn't get much sleep that night, but the next morning I opened my eyes to find a priest standing over my bed. I thought maybe I had died.

"Good morning" said the priest. What is your baby's name?"

"John Ryan" I replied.

"That's a good Catholic name" the priest said with a smile. "May I baptize him now?" asked the priest.

"Sure" I mumbled, still trying to figure out why I was having such a strange dream.

He proceeded with the ordinance and by then I was awake enough to ask, "Father, exactly why are you here?"

"Oh, I'm visiting all the Catholic mothers this morning" he explained.

"But I'm not Catholic, I'm Mormon. Ryan will be baptized again when he's 8, but no harm done!"

Lessons I learned from Ryan's birth: 

• Giving birth is about letting go, yielding your body, heart and soul to something higher
• You can't "control" the birth process
• Childbirth education classes are great, but won't prepare you for natural childbirth
• Babies are worth any sacrifice
• If I did THAT, I can do just about anything!