Negative Self-Talk or Something Else?

When I was in college, I read Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness. During our classroom discussion, the professor emphasized that most negative, dark, evil feelings and ideas come from deep within each of us. At first I struggled with this concept, but eventually I decided he was right. Just a few weeks ago I realized that I have believed this lie for almost 30 years.

Darkness and negativity come from one source—Satan, the enemy of all righteousness (Acts 13:10, Alma 34:23).

I recently read Joseph Smith History and I had the impression that Joseph’s experiences followed a pattern, so I made a list. 

God and his messengers:

Call us by name (v 33, 49)

Command, urge action (v 17, 19-20, 42)

Quote scripture (v 36-41)

Warn (v 42, 46)

Use repetition (v 45, 46, 54)

Encourage us to tell the truth, not keep secrets (v 49)

Urge patience (v 42, 54, 54)

Invite us to ask questions and provide answers (v 18-19)

The adversary:

Causes powerful feelings (v 15-16)

Brings darkness (v 15)

Is negative, i.e. despair, doom, destruction (v 15, 16)

Binds us (v 15, 17)

I doubt that any of us will have experiences quite like Joseph’s, but we can all be influenced by God’s Spirit and by the adversary. We need to recognize and acknowledge the true source of negative thoughts and feelings rather than blaming ourselves. Instead, we can “labor diligently, that we may conquer the enemy of all righteousness.” (Moroni 9:6)

Linda Reeves said, “We sometimes . . . have a tendency to be very critical of ourselves. During these times, we need to seek the Spirit and ask, ‘Is this what the Lord wants me to think about myself, or is Satan trying to beat me down?’ Remember the nature of our Heavenly Father, whose love is perfect and infinite. He wants to build us up, not tear us down.”

I have a challenge for you:  This week, pay attention to your thoughts and feelings and try to identify their source.

Example is Contagious!

Today, on Labor Day, it seems appropriate to talk about one of the most labor-intensive, time-consuming, jobs ever.  Did you guess I'm referring to parenting?  It isn't easy, but it is very rewarding, especially by the time the grandchildren come around!

I am blessed to have wonderful parents who modeled good parenting for me.  They weren't perfect, but they set a good example.  Yet, there are new challenges today that they didn't really have to deal with.  There is no doubt that children today will be exposed to pornography.  It isn't a matter of "if," rather "when" they will encounter it.  What's a parent to do?  Worry?  Pray it never happens?  Hide the computer/ipad/phone?

Author Jill Manning has a better approach.  She recommends the following 6 steps whenever you accidentally encounter pornography:

1.  Name it.
2.  Cover your eyes/ears as quickly as possible.
3.  Identify the lie and opposing truth about sexuality.
4.  Tell a parent about your experience as soon as possible.
5.  Turn to something positive, uplifting and wholesome to refocus your mind, body and spirit.
6.  Learn from your experience and identify ways it might be avoided in the future.

She advises teaching our children these 6 steps and then showing them how it works.  Imagine a scene at the dinner table.  Dad says,

"Today on my flight home, I glanced over at the guy sitting next to me and I realized he was looking at something inappropriate on his ipad.  I immediately realized it was pornography and I looked away. I got up and was able to find another seat a few rows back.  I knew that he was looking at the women on the screen as objects, not as daughters of God.  I decided to listen to some beautiful music and I thought about each of you and how wonderful it would be to see you all tonight.  If something like that happens again, I think I will ask the guy to stop watching it on the plane where other people can't help but see it."

We may not want to have these types of conversations with our children, but talking about it takes away secrecy that often plays a role in pornography addictions. In today's media-filled world, it is inevitable that our children will see pornography and they need to learn healthy ways to deal with it.

Jill Manning gives more support and suggestions for parents in her book, What's the Big Deal about Pornography? I have an extra copy or two to give away.  If you would like one, please leave me a comment.

A little knowledge that acts is worth infinitely more than much knowledge that is idle.

-Kahlil Gibran 

The Flight From Beauty

It is no secret that I love children's literature.  Long after my children were past picture book age, I kept shelves full of outstanding books.  I even have a few books saved from my own childhood.  Now I get to read them to my granddaughters and Lavender!

I also really enjoy young adult literature and when my children were little, I had a shelf full of books that I hoped they would enjoy reading some day.  Unfortunately, over the past fifteen years I have noticed a disturbing trend in YA literature.  It has become darker and more violent in the name of "reality."  Even books for young children have been impacted.  I have read a couple of articles about this trend, but I finally read a compelling article on this subject that I have to share with you.  Read "The Case For Good Taste in Children's Books" by Meghan Cox Gurdon HERE. She is a wise woman and she's got the experience and credentials to prove it.  More importantly, she is the mother of five children!  She also includes incredible quotes such as this:

For beauty makes a claim on us; it is a call to renounce our narcissism and look with reverence on the world. 

My Dad - An Original Hipster

Father's Day seems like a good time to share a few stories and memories of my Dad.

As the oldest child in the family, I was blessed to have lots of one-on-one time with my Dad.  When I was three we lived across the street from Drake University, in Des Moines, Iowa, where he was a professor.  Sometimes he would take me to his office on campus.  I remember walking past the dry cleaners with the giant, rotating hanger. Crisp autumn leaves were everywhere and I loved crunching them as we walked hand in hand towards the brick buildings.  He showed me some of the audio visual equipment he used in his classes and I got to meet some of the people he worked with.  At that moment I knew I wanted to go to college some day!

I remember my dad reading me Puss and Boots and editing another of my books that mentioned "bad tasting medicine."  Apparently he didn't want me refusing to take medicine.  Dad taught me to read before I went to kindergarten using homemade flashcards.  He started with rhyming words like cat, mat, sat and bat.  In first grade, I was bored with the work in my class.  My dad encouraged me to talk to my teacher and ask her for extra assignments.  Years later I learned that my teacher was one of my dad's students at the university, and not one of his better students.  He was concerned about my education and considered having me moved to another class, but instead he helped me learn to work with my teacher and seek challenges beyond the "Dick and Jane" readers we used in class.

Dad was never a handy-man, but he lovingly built and painted an A-frame clubhouse in the backyard for my brother Scott and I. Dad got a large garden plot on some land a few miles from our house.  He planted a garden and taught us to weed and water it. He took us with him and mom when they had assignments to de-tassel corn at the church welfare farm.  We just played, but we saw how hard they worked.

Dad's home teaching route covered many miles and sometimes he took me along to visit the widows.  I loved that special time with him.  Often on the way home from church my dad would ask a trick question.  "Would you like to stop for an ice cream cone?" or "Should we go to the drive in movie tonight?"  Of course, the right answer was, "No, Daddy.  It's Sunday and we keep the Sabbath day holy."  He often gave me little quizzes. "How much tithing would you owe if you earned $4.00?"  Math wasn't my favorite subject, but I figured it out and gave Dad the answer.  Dad was the bishop of our ward when I turned eight and I thought it was wonderful that he gave me my baptismal interview.

When I was almost eleven years old, Dad took a sabbatical from the university and our family moved to California.  He bought a temporary employment agency.  The next summer when I turned twelve, I started working for him.  At first I just stuffed envelopes, but soon he had me practicing on an adding machine and filing papers.  Later I learned to type invoices and do other paperwork.  Eventually I became the receptionist, answering the phones in a professional voice that my sister still calls my "fake voice." Beginning in high school I worked every day after school and full time in the summer.  As a young adult I interviewed potential employees, filled orders for clients and trained employees in word processing and data entry.  Dad told me to call him "Bob" while we were in the office. He taught me to work hard, be diplomatic and interact with all different kinds of people.

When I went off to college, my dad wanted to make sure I was prepared in every way!  I was one of the few people in my dorm to have a computer.  Dad also gathered a little tool kit for me.  I was the only girl in my dorm with a screwdriver, pliers and a hammer.  They came in very handy when we discovered that our window had a "safety feature" and would only open a couple of inches.  Safety was no match for my tool kit and I promptly broke fixed the window so that it opened all the way.  Soon my tools and I were in demand and I  was helping girls all over our floor fix their windows.  How else were we supposed to have long conversations with boys (who were forbidden in the dorms except on certain Sundays during visiting hours) who passed by?

Even better than the tool kit, were the letters my dad wrote to me when I was away at BYU.  He gave me advice about school, life and marriage.  My dad worked hard to teach and guide me.  He provided me with countless opportunities to learn and grow.  Sometimes I resisted his efforts, like the time I stubbornly refused to learn the state capitols during a road trip, or the time I refused to ride an ATV on the sand dunes during a family vacation. But most of the time I listened and learned.  I am grateful to my dad for his loving guidance.  I have never doubted his love and concern for me.

Happy Father's Day Dad!  I love you!

Favorite Books

I made this list of my favorite books back in 2006.  I kind of forgot about it until a friend asked me for a copy a few weeks ago.  I thought I'd share it here.

Melanie’s Favorites

Picture Books

See the Before Five in a Row Book List (for ages 2-4)

See the Five In A Row Book List (for ages 4-8)

Thank You Mr. Falker by Patricia Polacco (Fabulous author!  All of her books are great!)

Abraham Lincoln by Ingri & Edgar D’Aulaire  (Read all of their beautiful biographies!)

Miss Twiggley’s Tree by Dorthea Warren Fox

Any book by Margaret Wise Brown

Series you won’t want to miss:

The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis

Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder

Short & Easy to Read:

The Box-Car Children Gertrude C. Warner

The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes

The Chalk Box Kid and The Paint Brush Kid by Clyde Robert Bulla (great author!)

Great Read Alouds:

Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

Caddie Woodlawn by Carol Ryrie Brink

Carry on Mr. Bowditch by Jean Lee Latham (also a math classic)

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl (my son’s favorite author)

Charlotte’s Web by E. B. White (don’t miss his other great books)

Fairy Tales by Hans Christian Andersen

The Indian in the Cupboard by Lynne Reid Banks (this is a series of 5 books)

Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O’Dell (writes great historical fiction)

The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling

Little Britches by Ralph Moody

Mr. Popper’s Penguins by Richard & Florence Atwater

My Side of the Mountain by Jean Craighead George

Number the Stars by Lois Lowry (sweet story set in WWII)

Paddle to the Sea by Holling C. Holling (Wonderful illustrations. See his other books)

The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster (also a math classic)

Pippi Longstocking by Astrid Lindgren

Pollyanna by Eleanor H. Porter

The Search for Delicious by Natalie Babbitt

The Secret Garden and A Little Princess  by Frances Hodgson Burnett

Strawberry Girl  by Lois Lenski (teaches neighborliness, homesteader vs. squatter)

Treasures in the Snow by Patricia St. John (beautiful tale of  forgiveness)

Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls

Winnie the Pooh by A.A. Milne

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle (great author, look at her other books)

For teens & adults:

Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery (read her other books too!)

The Chosen and The Promise by Chaim Potok

The Hiding Place and Tramp for the Lord by Corrie Ten Boom

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee

Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe

Poetry:

Casey at the Bat by Ernest Lawrence Thayer, Illustrated by Christopher Bing

A Child’s Garden of Verses by Robert Louis Stevenson

Favorite Poems by Emily Dickinson

Hailstones and Halibut Bones by Mary O’Neill (Lovely poems about color)

Mammalabilia & Insectlopedia  by Douglas Florian (Great paintings & funny poems)

A Pizza the Size of the Sun by Jack Prelutsky

Poetry for Young People by Edward Lear (kids love his funny limericks)

The Spider and the Fly by Tony DiTerlizzi (based on the tale by Mary Howitt)

Tales from Shakespeare by Mary and Charles Lamb

Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein

Art:

Degas and the Little Dancer by Laurence Anholt

Linnea in Monet’s Garden by Christina Bjork

Science:

The Cloud Book & The Quicksand Book by Tomie de Paola

Pagoo, Minn of the Mississippi by Holling C. Holling

History:

See Let the Authors Speak by Carolyn Hatcher

Childhood of Famous Americans Series

The Declaration of Independence Illustrated & Inscribed by Sam Fink

Thank You Sarah: The Woman Who Saved Thanksgiving  by Laurie Halse Anderson

The Tree in the Trail by Holling C. Holling

We the Kids Illustrated by David Catrow

Homeschooling related:

Dr. Seuss’ Hooray for Diffendoofer Day! By Jack Prelutsky & Lane Smith

Leo the Late Bloomer by Robert Kraus

A Bad Case of Stripes by David Shannon

A Thomas Jefferson Education by Oliver DeMille

Math:

www.livingmath.net is a great resource for math literature!

http://www.stuartjmurphy.com/index.html The Mathstart Series by Stuart J. Murphy is fabulous!  These books aren’t just math problems disguised as stories; they are real children’s literature.  Kids will read these beautiful books over and over and the math concepts become part of them.

Carry on Mr. Bowditch by Jean Lee Latham

One Grain of Rice by Demi

The Man Who Counted by Malba Tahan

Mathematicians Are People, Too (Vol 1 & 2) by Luetta Reimer & Wilbert Reimer

The Number Devil by Hans Mangnus Enzensberger

Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster

It is no secret that I love books!  Our home is filled with bookshelves, but I am proud to report that I have gotten rid of more books that I've bought over the past 2 years.  Ebooks don't count do they?

Lavender may only be four months old, but she seems to have inherited my love of reading.  Okay, she can't read yet, but she does love books.  How do I know?  She loves to stare at the big bookshelf in my bedroom.  John and the kids have noticed it too.  Still want more proof?

Take a look at these pictures:

Here she is grabbing Evan's Book of Mormon during family scripture study.

Here she is paying close attention while I read Jamberry to her.

Here she is surrounded by some of her favorite books.

Let me tell you about some of them.  You never know when you might need to find a good board book for a cute little one!

Lavender's favorite book is Look, Look! by Peter Linenthal

The black and white images are perfect for babies.  Lavender kicks her feet and waves her hands when we read this one.  Her favorite page is the one filled with swimming fish.

Jamberry by Bruce Degen is the book we're reading in the picture above.




This is one of my kids' favorites and it is fun to read aloud!   Who can resist rhymes like,
"Raspberry
Jazzberry
Razzamatazzberry
Berryband
Merryband
Jamming in Berryland"

Sara Gillingham and Lorena Siminovich have a series of books with finger puppets.

We have In My Tree


and My Little Sweetheart



The little finger puppets are engaging and the simple text is sweet and easy to read.


I love teaching my children about great artists, so I was thrilled to find Quiet Time with Cassatt by Julie Merberg. The pictures are lovely and the text is simple.  It is the perfect introduction to art for your little one!




This is part of a series of "Mini Masters" with artwork by Degas, Monet, Van Gogh and others.  I plan to buy the set for her at Christmas.  Shh!  Don't tell.

Finally, What Makes a Rainbow? by Betty Ann Schwartz is a fun addition to your library.



This book has a rainbow made out of ribbon that grows on every page. It is really exciting to see a new color added to the rainbow as you turn the page.  The last page is a pop-up of a rainbow.

What's your favorite board book?  Not that I want to buy any more of course, but just in case! ; )

Crazy Things A Good Mom Does

I'm not sure if these prove that I'm crazy or that I'm a good mom.  Take your pick.

Evidence #1
So, we've come up with a name for the baby.  What do you think of Flipper?  Okay, not really.  But it should be her nickname.  She gets in the perfect "ready to be born" position for a day or two and then during the night she flips into a breech position.  We are trying several methods to convince her to keep her head down, but the funniest one is playing music down where her head it supposed to be.  It's not so bad when I'm in the car.  I just hit shuffle and put my phone on the seat when I sit down.  But at home my family thinks I am really weird.  Marianne is a good sport though and has been choosing music she thinks the baby will like.  This morning it was September by Earth, Wind and Fire.  It actually did wake her up and get her moving.  Now if we can just keep her moving in the right direction!

Evidence #2
Elder Aaron has been a missionary for four months now and I kind of feel like THIS.  So when Aaron mentioned a couple of Korean books that would be really helpful "if they're not too expensive," I set out to find them.  The first one was easy to find and inexpensive.  The second one I had to order from Seoul Selection.  And that isn't just a catchy name.  It is in Seoul, Korea.  It was reasonably priced so I placed my order.  As I was checking out, I realized that the shipping rate from Seoul was a bit more than I expected.  But hey, what mom doesn't want her missionary son to have the best in Korean grammar books?!  I figured it was kind of like contributing to the church missionary fund.  To make matters worse, I mistakenly thought that shipping rates to Toronto would be about the same as to New York.  Just take a look at the map.  Wrong.  Next time I have a package for my missionary, I might just fly there and give it to him in person!

Books Are Life

My friend Tawnya posted a reading meme on her blog.  I looked up a few others and found one I liked.  The rule for this one is that you can only use titles of books you've read this year to answer the questions!

 
Describe yourself:  Monsters and Mormons

How do you feel?  bliss to you

Describe where you currently live:  Home:  A Novel

If you could go anywhere, where would you go? The Place of Knowing

Your favorite form of transportation:  The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

Your best friend is:  Extraordinary, Ordinary People

You and your friends are:  Same Kind of Different As Me

What's the weather like?  Our Iceberg is Melting

You fear:  Sept 11

What is the best advice you have to give?  Leadership Education

Thought for the day:  Heaven is for Real

How you would like to die: The Only Way to Paradise

My soul's present condition:  Zion:  Seeking the City of Enoch


The authors can all be found on the sidebar under "Books Read in 2011."  This was really fun, but it made me realize how much this pregnancy has affected my brain.  I am reading quite a bit, but mainly I'm reading articles not books.  I am struggling with the focus required to make it through "real" books.  I have been enjoying our collection of Christmas picture books (not listed on the sidebar), but I've noticed that even my read-aloud skills are somewhat impared.  Sad, huh?!

This quote explains why . . .

I love blogging and reading blogs.
I am not particularly interested in Facebook.
I made time yesterday for an hour long phone conversation with a friend who has moved away.
my kids loved visiting with their grandma.
listening with your whole heart is so important.
you can be very productive even if you are old, sick or bedridden.
we are admonished to keep a journal.
it is exciting to read accounts from our family history.
some talks are more interesting than others.


"To listen to a person's stories is to learn their feelings and experiences and values and habits of mind, and to learn them all at once and all together. . . [O]ur stories are what make us human, and listening to some else's stories--entering into their feelings, validating their experiences--is the highest way of acknowledging their humanity, the sweetest form of usefulness."  William Deresiewicz

Our Life in Lists

Finished:
1 bouquet of flowers ordered
2 loads of laundry
3 closet shelves organized
4 packages mailed at post office

Music enjoyed:
Moonlight Sonata on piano
Now Let Us Rejoice on organ
Eric Clapton on ipod

You Tube videos watched and discussed:
Kennedy's "Ich bin ein Berliner" speech
Reagan's "Tear Down This Wall" speech
Fall of the Berlin Wall

Books read from:
The Book of Mormon
Key to Algebra
Hershey's Chocolate Lover's Cookbook
The Elements: A Visual Exploration of Every Known Atom in the Universe

Ingredients for the perfect FHE:
Casual discussion of dreams and goals
Frisbee at the park until we couldn't see anymore
Mint chip & rocky road ice cream

My Life As a Movie Title

It was a Clint Eastwood movie my Grandpa loved, but this week it describes my life.

THE GOOD:

I walked 7.25 miles yesterday and 8 miles today. That may not be much for you runners, but it's good for me!

THE BAD:

Our dog Roxy has suddenly become deaf as a result of antibiotics. We are hoping it is temporary, but it is not looking good.

AND THE UGLY:

I got a personalized fitting and spent $85 dollars on new walking shoes and after one short walk, I HATE them. My ankles are actually bruised. I pulled the old ones out of the trash can to wear until I work up the courage to see if the store does refunds/exchanges.

As a bonus, this one has yet to be categorized as good, bad or ugly. I'll wait and see how it turns out:

I recently chose two books to read based on reviews. It turns out that both of them have underlying themes that directly relate to my life. None of this was mentioned in the reviews and I really didn't want to deal with these issues right now. I guess God had other plans.

Hope you can join us!

Millennial Scholar Academy presents

Set in the roaring 20s
complete with
gangsters, bootleggers, flappers and more!

Friday, May 27 at 7 pm

Saturday May 28 at 2 pm

North County Church of Christ

130 Woodward Ave

Escondido, CA 92025

$5 per person

$20 per family

My Walking Secrets - Part 3

Jenny and I have had some weird things happen while walking. I've shared a few of them here and here.

When you walk regularly, you tend to see the same people day in and day out. Of course you say hello and almost feel like friends although you don't know their names.

A few years ago on a cold (well San Diego cold that it!) December morning I hadn't met up with Jenny yet, when I saw a fellow walker approaching. He wasn't one of the "regulars," but he had a smile on his face. I politely said, "hello" and he responded cheerily, "Thanks so much for your Christmas card. My wife and I really enjoyed it!"

This man was a complete stranger, so I was surprised. I felt like I should say something, but what was the appropriate response?

"You must have me confused with someone else."
"Hey, I didn't send you a Christmas card!"
"Who are you, buddy?"
"You're welcome!"

I slowed down wondering if I should turn around to respond, but he was on his was without a backward glance. I decided that the next time I saw him I would say something.

We both kept walking and I never saw him again!


3-Day For the Cure Update:

• I have walked over 200 miles
• I just started my official training schedule
• I have raised over $1000
  
• Our team, Annie's Angels has raised over $4000.
• We are having a Think Pink Garage Sale this weekend. All the money raised will go toward breast cancer research. Please email me if you have items to donate or want to come shop.
• I just read Promise Me: How a Sister's Love Launched the Global Movement to End Breast Cancer. It is exciting to see how much progress has been made in the last 30 years.

Thank goodness it's a paperback

What would you say if I suggested you read a 638 page book . . . about Benedictine nuns? I have to admit it doesn't sound too appealing.


But I just finished In This House of Brede by Rumer Godden and WOW! I want to re-read it already. This beautifully written book satisfied my desire for a good story, brought me peace and taught me some important lessons about leadership.

In case you need some page turning excitement, the book also has mystery, tragedy, theft, poetry, love and even promiscuity (okay that last one only applies to the cat).

In the characters of Dame Philippa and Dame Catherine, Godden shows us two very different women who are both great leaders.

Philippa Talbot is a powerful businesswoman who gives up a successful career and comfortable life to enter a monastery and become a nun at age 42. Philippa knows how to be in charge and get things done, but as she turns her life over to God, she develops her ability to submit to authority and be a supportive and respectful "follower." When she takes the vow of obedience, she understands that it means "submitting your will, even when it goes against [your] grain; giving up your judgment and accepting your superiors--even a a weak superior." Dame Philippa has many opportunities to use her connections and leadership skills, but she humbly offers help through quiet suggestions to the Abbess. She learns that her strongest connection is to God and seeks to access His power through fervent prayer.

Dame Catherine is stunned and terrified when she is elected Abbess of the House of Brede. She knows "she must lead and inspire every hour of the twenty-four hours of each day until she dies." She has no desire to "bear that awesome responsibility" and "consent to be the representative of Christ." She cries in the chapel and whispers, "I can't" until her panic is quieted and she accepts her responsibility to God saying, "I can't . . . so You must."

With God's help, Abbess Catherine becomes a marvelous leader:

She does what is right even when she knows some will disagree
She allows others to save face whenever possible
She keeps confidences and respects privacy
She is patient in looking for solutions to problems
She is creative and not afraid of change
She is honest, but doesn't speak ill of others
She allows people to choose their own way
She doesn't seek to blame
She trusts in God that things will work out

I think most of us can relate to the way Catherine felt. We don't really want to have to do such hard things! Yet, each of us will be called upon to lead in some way during our life. We might as well learn some of these lessons by watching others instead of having to learn them the hard way "on the job." I am grateful for the examples of leadership Godden provides in this beautiful novel.

Sweet (Shakespeare) Sunday

Several years ago I read and watched Shakespeare's Two Gentlemen of Verona for the first time. Then my son Aaron was cast as Proteus in the play. Proteus is the guy who betrays his true love, manipulates his best friend, and then he tries to force himself on his best friend's girl. What a jerk! I saw Proteus as a very evil character.

Early this year, we decided to perform Two Gentlemen with our Classical Acting troupe. Since I would be directing, I spent hours reading and watching the play. I came to realize that Proteus isn't really evil; he is a self-centered teenager. He wants what he wants and isn't thinking of anyone else. It made even more sense when I realized that all four lovers in the play are immature and more like teenagers than adults.

Whenever I direct a Shakespeare play, there is a moment of epiphany--a time when I suddenly realize, "Oh that's what this play is really about!" But that moment always catches me by surprise. This year it was quite late in the process, just a few days before our performances.

The play ends rather abruptly. Proteus is about to force himself on Silvia, who has refused his advances. Fortunately, he is stopped by Valentine, who is his best friend and Silvia's fiance. Proteus apologizes immediately and just as quickly Valentine forgives him.

The play ends in one big love-and-forgiveness-fest!

Julia forgives her lover Proteus, even though she has witnessed all of his terrible behavior.

The Duke forgives Valentine for his deceit and trying to elope with his daughter.

Silvia forgives both Proteus (for his attack) and Valentine (for offering to give her up).

The Duke even forgives the outlaws and pardons them.

Initially, I thought it was ridiculous, even wrong, that everyone in this play is so forgiving. Then it hit me. That's the point! The message of this play is to forgive quickly and love freely.

Actually, that's the point of our life on earth!

Dallin H. Oaks explained it this way:

"To achieve our eternal destiny, we will desire and work for the qualities required to become an eternal being. For example, eternal beings forgive all who have wronged them. They put the welfare of others ahead of themselves. And they love all of God’s children.

If this seems too difficult—and surely it is not easy for any of us—then we should begin with a desire for such qualities and call upon our loving Heavenly Father for help with our feelings." (Desire, April 2011 General Conference)

Ouch!

When Ryan was a little boy he loved to catch bees with his bare hands. I warned him repeatedly that he might get stung, but it never seemed to bother him.

Evan on the other hand, seems to attract angry bees. He has been stung many times and he is allergic to the stings. He swells up horribly. Fortunately it is not systemic, but the local swelling is very painful. The doctors haven't been very helpful expect to say, "Get the stinger out immediately."

Then there's me. In all of my 44 years, I have never been stung by a bee. Until yesterday. I was sitting in a lounge chair reading when I felt a tickle on my neck. I reached up to brush whatever-it-was away, when suddenly I felt the sting. Even worse, the bee was buzzing around inside my shirt. I told Marianne to pull out the stinger while I extricated the bee from my chest.

The worst part of the whole experience was when I realized that I may have brought it upon myself. Why? Well, the book I was reading is titled . . .

Photo by: Larry Crowhurst/Oxford Scientific Films

. . . The Secret Life of Bees

Sweet Dreams

I am the oldest child in my family, so most of my toys were handed down to younger siblings. I do have a few books from my childhood and I have one very special toy. It is a doll that was handmade by my mother when I was very young--probably 3 or 4 years old. I didn't play with many dolls as a child, but I loved my doll "Edie". She has the stains that prove she was well loved. One time my brother Scott and I even fought over her. I was horrified when he ripped off her arm, but fortunately my mother and her sewing machine came to the rescue.

One thing that made Edie really special was that she had her very own book! This is the story of a little girl who refuses to go to bed and tells her parents she wants to stay up all night. So they let her! They even take away her bed. The next morning she is so tired and grumpy that she never tries a stunt like that again.

This book must have had a big impact on me, because (except for a few years in college) I have always been good about making sure I get enough sleep. My children will tell you I have always been pretty strict about bedtimes too.

Edie and her book continue to inspire me. When ever I look at them, I think of my mother. I am grateful for the many hours of work my mom put into this doll. Like my mom's quilts, Edie is a tangible symbol of my mom's love for me.

Sweet Sunday with Shakespeare

This week I have spent about 12 hours a day working on our production of Shakespeare's Two Gentlemen of Verona. This Sunday is especially sweet because it really is a day of rest for me!

Being so immersed in this play has given me an opportunity to contemplate some of themes. In this play the two gentlemen, Proteus and Valentine, have an age old problem. Proteus is jealous of Valentine and betrays him and tries to steal his girlfriend. In the end, Proteus apologizes and is forgiven by Valentine and his girlfriend Silvia. Proteus' own faithful girlfriend, Julia, has arrived on the scene and witnessed his terrible behavior, but she also forgives him. The ending is like every Shakespearean comedy; the happy couples are reunited and plan a wedding.

That may sound like an unrealistic ending, but I know that ultimately all who repent and forgive will, through God's grace, enjoy an eternity of "happily ever after".

I love how Shakepeare describes repentance and forgiveness.

"Who by repentance is not satisfied
Is not of heaven nor earth, for these are pleased.
By penitence the Eternal's wrath's appeased."

It reminds me of this scripture:

"And again, verily I say unto you, if after thine enemy has come upon thee the first time, he repent and come unto thee praying thy forgiveness, thou shalt forgive him, and shalt hold it no more as a testimony against thine enemy." D & C 98:39

I am grateful for the gift of repentance from our Savior Jesus Christ. We all sin and His atonement allows us to be lifted from the depths of sorrow. Because of Jesus Christ there is always hope and the possibility of change.

I am also grateful for the opportunity to forgive others. At times, we are all offended or hurt by friends or family members. Sometimes we are even betrayed or sinned against. The opportunity to forgive others has been a great blessing to me and brought peace into my heart.

This reminds me of a favorite quote from the book Home I read this year.

"There is a saying that to understand is to forgive, but that is an error. You must forgive in order to understand. Until you forgive, you defend yourself against the possibility of understanding.

If you forgive, you may indeed still not understand, but you will be ready to understand, and that is the posture of grace."

May we all be blessed with forgiveness and understanding!

Please Join Us for . . .

MILLENNIAL SCHOLAR ACADEMY'S

production of

William Shakespeare's

Two Gentlemen of Verona
Friday, March 25th 7:00 PM
Saturday, March 26th 2:00 PM
Friday, April 1st 7:00 PM

at North County Church of Christ
130 Woodward Ave., Escondido, CA 92025

Tickets: $5 per person or $20 per family

FYI - This will be a very funny show presented by high school students
in our commonwealth school.
They all have 3+ years of Shakespearean acting experience.
This is your chance to see some great acting complete with gorgeous
Elizabethan costumes!

And yes, I'm the director!

Here and There

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Here are a few things to help you get there.

Here is a picture of the world's cutest leprechaun.

Here is a yummy and healthy St. Patrick's Day recipe that my kids love.

Here is picture of the dessert I have planned. Here is where I found it.


Here is a very thoughtful article about finding your God-given mission in life.

Here is a book I am thinking about reading. Anyone read it? What did you think?