Happy Birthday, Brother Joseph!

A few weeks ago in Relief Society we had a lesson about the prophet, Joseph Smith.  The teacher invited us to share our favorite stories about Joseph Smith, but time was short and I didn't have a chance to share mine.  Today, on the 208th anniversary of Joseph Smith's birth, I want to share one of my favorites.

When the Saints were living in Nauvoo, Joseph Smith was the mayor.  One day a black man named Anthony was brought before the mayor and charged with selling liquor on the Sabbath.  Anthony begged for leniency, explaining that he needed to year money to buy the freedom of his child who was a slave in another state.  Joseph Smith told Anthony that justice must be served and that he would have to pay the fine.  The following day, the prophet brought a fine horse to Anthony and told him to sell the horse and use the money to free his child.

This story has always stood out to me as the perfect balance of justice and mercy.  I think it is a beautiful example of the wisdom of Joseph Smith and his ability to walk in the footsteps of his Savior, Jesus Christ.

Merry Christmas!

I Have a Present for You

Yes, I really truly do! It is the season of giving and I want to share!

If you've read my blog for awhile, you know that I'm committed to helping families prevent and heal from addiction, especially pornography addiction.  To further this effort, I have an awesome book to share with you.  Email me at ToHappyHartz (at) gmail (dot) com with your mailing address and I will send you a copy along with a bookmark I made that highlights some of my favorite passages.  Click HERE to read a post I wrote about the book, He Restoreth My Soul, a few years ago.

Bonus #2:  THIS post helps you teach your kids exactly what to do if they accidentally encounter pornography.

Bonus #3: THIS post has a link to a resource book for LDS families that you can download for free!

Merry Christmas!  I hope you enjoy these gifts.  They are some of the most important things you can give your family.

Black Bean Soup

I just tried a new recipe that we all really liked.  It's pretty quick and easy too!  Here's my version:

2 onions chopped
6 cloves garlic, minced
4 celery ribs, chopped
1 cup carrots (or red bell pepper) chopped
1 cup salsa
2 1/2 cups chicken broth
4 cans black beans (undrained)
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cumin
1 Tbl lemon juice
2 1/2 Tbl cornstarch
parmesan cheese, grated (optional)

In a large soup pot mix veggies, salsa and broth. Heat to boiling and simmer for 10 minutes.  Add one can of beans, salt and cumin and cook for 5 minutes.  Remove from heat and puree with immersion blender.  Add the rest of the beans and lemon juice to soup.  Combine cornstarch with 3 Tbl water, then add to soup. Stir soup and cook till thickened a bit.

Garnish with a little parmesan cheese if desired.

A Gift I'll Always Remember

I'm usually pretty strict about Christmas presents. Sometimes I let the kids choose their own gifts, especially when it comes to clothes, but I always take them home and wrap them up. They don't get to open presents early, except for one gift on Christmas eve. I choose the present to be opened and somehow it always turns out to be pajamas!

Fortunately, Marianne is not such a stickler.  In fact, she gave me one of my Christmas presents early.  She asked me to reserve Monday night and told me I would be receiving a gift.  After I put Lavender to bed, I came downstairs to find Marianne's music stand set up in the living room.  A few minutes later, her flute teacher, Cheryl, arrived and the two of them gave me the most wonderful gift.  I was feeling generous, so I shared my gift with John and the boys.

All four of us were treated to a beautiful Christmas mini-concert.  Marianne and Cheryl played some lovely duets including:
It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas
The First Noel
What Child Is This
We Three Kings
Home for the Holidays

The music was so beautiful and it was such a pretty scene with them playing next to the Christmas tree while the lights reflected in their gleaming flutes.  It really was a dream come true to hear my daughter play the songs of Christmas so beautifully.  I am grateful she has such a kind and thoughtful teacher. Thank you Marianne and Cheryl for one of the best gifts I've ever received!

How to Make Your Christmas Merry!

My mother and mother-in-law both loved Christmas.  They loved decorating, baking, serving and celebrating.  I am following in their footsteps and Christmas is my favorite time of year.  But I know that not everyone feels that way.  Christmas can be stressful and exhausting.  In fact, a friend of mine recently confessed in Relief Society that she has always hated Christmas.  I often hear women bemoan all the things they "have to do" at Christmas time. It makes me sad that the season to celebrate Christ's birthday makes so many of us want to throw in the towel.

So here is my secret for making Christmas "the most wonderful time of the year."  Are you ready? Here it is:

Do the things you love, and eliminate (or drastically reduce) the rest.  

If (like me) you love writing a family newsletter and sending Christmas cards to everyone you've ever known, then do it!  But if you shudder at the thought of signing, stamping, licking and addressing, move on and don't feel guilty!  Sure, you may decide to send a card to your grandma, but don't worry about sending cards out, even to the people who send you one every year.  Work together with your family to make space for your cherished traditions, but don't feel pressured to stay up all night making gifts for everyone in your neighborhood! Learn to say no and don't make anything more complicated than it needs to be.  For most of us, Christmas is a lot of work.  Just make sure you're doing the work that brings you peace and joy.  That's what Christmas is all about!

If you love decorating the tree in heels, go for it!

May you feel's the Savior's peace and joy this Christmas!

Not a Fan

She calmly watched the other kids sit on Santa's lap and she was excited for the candy cane, but as soon as we sat her on his lap she lost it!

3, 2, 1 . . .

Blastoff!

That's kind of what it felt like this week at our house.  We babysat our wonderful granddaughters for a few days, so we had three little girls ages 3, 2 and 1!  It was crazy at times, but I am so grateful we had the opportunity to spend so much time together.  A few memorable moments:

Sweet Brianne knocked on our bedroom door and exclaimed with excitement, "Look Papa!  The sun is coming up!"

Lavender was thrilled to wake up to find her nieces there each morning.  She gave them hugs and couldn't stop giggling.

Brianne helped Leighton take off her bib and said, "Hold up your hair." Instead of lifting up the hair by her neck, Leighton grabbed the hair by her ears and held it up like ponytails.

Although the girls did fight over toys, they were usually very sweet.  Often, I would look over to see one of them stroking the other's hair or giving a little hug.

Early one morning, I told Brianne that I would take her downstairs after I finished my prayer.  I knelt down and started to pray, when I heard a little whisper by my ear, "Grandma, am I supposed to fold my arms?"

Three

Two

One

Aren't they wonderful?!

Special Delivery

Have you gotten any Christmas cards in the mail yet? What would you say if I told you I got a Christmas card from my grandpa who passed away five years ago?  Here is the story of how it was delivered:

Yesterday, I had a sick baby to care for and lots of other things on my plate. Yet I kept having the feeling that I should go out to the garage and sort through some family pictures. I knew I didn't have time to start on that project, but the thought wouldn't leave my head. Finally, I went out and found the box I needed. I quickly looked through it, but felt prompted to open another box. I brought it inside and was disappointed to find that there weren't many photos. I did find a folder that my mom had labeled "Geneaology." Inside the folder, I came across an old Zobrist family newsletter. It mentioned my marriage to John and I thought that was fun to see. Then I noticed the newsletter also had a Christmas messge written by my grandpa. I quickly skimmed it and thought it might be nice to share with my family later in the month. I put everything back in the garage to deal with on a less busy day.

As I was making dinner, thoughts of my grandpa kept coming into my mind. Eventually, I realized I needed to pay attention and I got the message. This was something I needed to share my extended family and I needed to do it now!

Grandpa may have passed away several years ago, but apparently he wants his family to hear from him this Christmas!

So here is the Christmas message, written by my maternal grandfather, Herman Arthur Zobrist on December 21, 1987.  He refers to his parents (calling them Mother and Father or Grandma and Grandpa), Anna Allenbach and Herman Zobrist who were from Switzerland.

As we come into the Christmas season our thoughts are of the Savior and his great gift to all of us.  In fact, to all of God's children who ever came to this planet, or who ever will.  It is a great time of the year for all of us to evaluate our lives and, if necessary, make sure we are going in the right direction.
         I always think of my Father and Mother at this time of year and of all the great gifts they gave to me, and all of their posterity.  As I have been to the birthplace of my parents, I am so very thankful that they left that cold and beautiful land to come to America, that all of their descendants would have a more abundant life.  They had many trials and problems in their new home and yet they built something very important to all of us.  
         My father instilled in all of us the willingness to work and to always be honest in all of our dealings with our fellow men.  The greatest thing I remember about Grandpa was his ability to put all things in their proper perspective.  It is one thing I have always admired, and yet I was never able to do like Dad did.  To my Father, there were only two things that were important, His Family and The Church.  All other things were secondary to him, nothing ever interfered with these two prime things in his life.  Some day, I hope we can all have the Testimony he had for the Gospel and for his family.
         Many you of younger people never had the privilege of knowing your Grandpa and Grandma, but you may all hold your heads up high for the way they lived their lives, and for the heritage they left each and every one of us.  I hope and pray that all of us will try each day to live as Grandpa and Grandma would have us live. Remember they are watching us every day and hoping that some day we will all be together as a family again.  
         Let us each strive always to live up to the Heritage they left us, and that they will be as proud of us as we are of them.

Herman Zobrist           

I am grateful for eternal families, especially at Christmastime! And now just for fun, here are a few pictures of Grandpa and his parents.  To see one of my favorite pictures of Grandpa, click HERE.

Grandpa as a young man.

Grandpa, a bit more middle-aged

Grandpa's parents (and my great-grandparents) Herman and Anna Zobrist

Great Grandpa and Grandma Zobrist at their 50th wedding anniversary celebration

Thanksgiving 2013

We had 18 people at our house for Thanksgiving.  My sister's family joined us and we were all especially excited because my brother David and his wife Annie flew in from Texas.  Sadly, my dad and Carolyn weren't able to make it because Carolyn was recovering from back surgery.

I thought it would be fun to list our menu and links to a few recipes. Annie & David even brought their baking supplies to make an apple pie!

Appetizers

• baked brie
• crackers
• turkey (shaped) vegetable platter
• hummus
• bean dip
• chips

Dinner

• turkey
• stuffing
• roasted garlic mashed potatoes
• scalloped potatoes
• green beans with almonds
• yams
• mandarin orange jello salad

Dessert

• pumpkin pie
• apple pie
• chocolate cream pie
• banana cream pie
• pecan caramel pie (bake in ramekins for GF folks)
• ice cream
• whipped cream

After our delicious meal, we took a walk to the park!  Here are a few of us along the way.

It was a lovely day except for one thing.  Lavender learned how to climb out of her crib and she's been doing it ever since.  I don't have the luxury of shutting the door and letting her cry because she sleeps in our walk-in closet (which doesn't have a door!)  She just climbs into our bed in the middle of the night and thinks it's a great arrangement.  Not! Then she got sick, so I haven't had the heart (or energy) to keep taking her back and insist she stay put.  As soon as she is better, we will be undertaking operation "stay in your own bed all night long."

Pretending to sleep after laying down with her bears.

Happy Thanksgiving

I am grateful for my many blessings. Here I am with four of the  sweetest gifts God has given to me.

Work

Evan gave a talk in church today.  His subject was "work" and he did a great job! Here is the text of his talk:

What do you think of when you hear the word work? Many people view work as a negative thing. Do you? If you find yourself thinking of work negatively, remember what Elder D. Todd Christofferson said about work and maybe it will help you see it differently. He said, 

By work we sustain and enrich life. It enables us to survive the disappointments and tragedies of the mortal experience. Hard-earned achievement brings a sense of self-worth. Work builds and refines character, creates beauty, and is the instrument of our service to one another and to God.

I’m 15 year old boy so I know that doing work can be hard sometimes. But I also know how rewarding true work can be. I have found that when I am working toward something that is important to me, I have a much better attitude toward work and I see work as a good thing. 

Last year I wanted to have a garden. I had a good area on the side of my house, but it was filled with a LOT of weeds. I spent hours digging and pulling the weeds until I had finally cleared the area. I then leveled the ground and spent even more time building the raised garden beds out of bricks and cement blocks. I filled them with dirt that I hauled from a neighbor’s house and planted the things I wanted to plant.  Throughout the rest of that spring, I worked very hard keeping the plants alive and then harvesting them. I never complained about the hard work or even thought about stopping because I was working towards something I wanted and so the attitude I had about the work was positive. 

I have learned to try to have this same attitude towards work even when I’m not excited about doing it. When my parents ask me to help clean the garage I’m not very happy about it, but when I think of how I’m helping them and keeping our home clean I am more motivated. When I succeed in seeing work as a positive thing, I am able to see it’s benefit and make the work I’m doing important to me and more enjoyable.

Through my life so far I’ve also learned that while work is important, we also need to take time to relax and rejuvenate.  Elder Chistofferson also said, “Just as honest toil gives rest its sweetness, wholesome recreation is the friend and steadying companion of work. Music, literature, art, dance, drama, athletics—all can provide entertainment to enrich one’s life and further consecrate it.” There is always a time for work and play. But, if there is imbalance between the two, it can cause problems, which is why we need to know our Priorities and do the things that are the most important for us.

We have to work here on earth very hard to progress as far as we can, that way we will be one step closer to perfection when we go into the next life.  Learning to work now will also help prepare us for our eternal responsibilities. 

One example of someone who has taught me to work hard is my Grandpa Emerson. He was a very hard worker. To support his family he worked two jobs for 17 years. During the day he worked at the post office, and in the evening he worked cleaning the bank. He often took one of his children to the bank while he cleaned to, spend time with them and to be an example to them so they would work hard. This must have been very hard for him, but I’m glad that he did this because he was able support his family and teach me the importance of hard work. 

In D&C 75 it says, “Behold, I say unto you that it is my will that you should go forth and not tarry, neither be idle but labor with your might. And thus, if ye are faithful ye shall be laden with many sheaves, and crowned with honor, and glory, and immortality, and eternal life.” 

He bore his testimony and closed in the name of Jesus Christ.

The Hazards of Eating Nutella for Breakfast

In Her Own Words

This crazy-haired baby is fast becoming a little girl and she's got the growing vocabulary to prove it! Here are a few of our favorites:

*She holds up her finger and says, "one" when asked how old she is. Aaron worked for almost a week to teach her this.

*Sings E-I-E-I-O pretty much in tune. She loves Old Mac Donald and all the animal noises! She says, baa, moo, neigh, quack, woof and meow.

*Says, "Hi, honey" so sweetly. When we were on vacation I asked her to come over and she didn't want to. Finally I said, "Come on over honey." She growled back, "Me no honey!" I was so surprised by this response that I laughed and said, "Hey, I didn't know you could say 'honey'! Why don't you try saying 'Hi honey?'" So she did!

*She insists I pray for her grandpa in her bedtime prayer. If I forget (or don't get to him soon enough) she reminds me by saying, "Papa" over and over until I pray for him.

*At the end of every prayer she shouts "amen" very enthusiastically. In church she also loudly "amens" at the end of songs and musical numbers.

*She recently learned to sign and say "rain." Yesterday, I took her in the shower and she chanted, "It raining. It raining!" almost the entire time.

Her little words bring such joy to our whole family!

Desperate Measures

I know you thought you had seen the last of my vacation posts. It is great to be home, except for one thing . . . I want to go back! I am suffering from serious Maui withdrawal.

I finally resorted to looking at photos of the only undesirable things I found in Maui: sharks and high food prices! (Dont worry, I didn't actually find any sharks, i just read the newspaper article about the attack.) Even that wasn't enough. I am still ready to jump on the next Maui-bound flight. John did buy a pineapple at the store today. If only he'd picked up some chocolate covered macadamia nuts too!

Day 10 - The End!

Our last day in Maui arrived too soon. John & I had planned to take a
drive along the road to Hana, but the beach called to us and we just
couldn't resist! We decided to check out a cove near our condo. It was
full of folks learning to paddle board and kayak. Fun, but with the
rocky shore it wasn't quite what we were looking for. Then we stopped
by a large beach just down the road. There was a crowd gathered and
the lifeguard warned people to stay back from the mother manta ray and
her two babies. It was cool to see the rays swimming in the ocean. We
walked down a little farther on the beach, but it felt like our
beaches back at home. It wasn't how we wanted to spend our last day in
Maui.

We finally decided to drive down to Makena to one of our favorite
beaches, Maluaka. It was the same place where we caught the Kai
Kanani, the snorkel boat to Molokini. The sand on Maluaka is coarse,
but very soft and there are lots of shady spots and large pieces of
beautiful driftwood. On a practical note, there is a drop off point
and good showers and bathrooms at the parking lot.

The water was the clearest and calmest we had ever seen it there. That
meant great snorkeling and playing in the gentle waves! We fully
enjoyed our last day at the beach. It was fun to watch the crabs
skitter across the sand and I even saw fish and and a starfish at the
water's edge. Lavender kept pointing to the waves saying "wawa mine".
That girl loves the ocean and she got really fussy when it was time to
leave.

Back at the condo, we finished packing and cleaning. One thing I have
to recommend if you're traveling with little ones is Akamai Mother's
Rentals. They had excellent service and prices. We got a carseat, high
chair, portacrib and a huge bag full of toys. Lavender's favorites
were the Dora car and the baby and stroller. Oh she loves that baby. I
was grateful she was napping when they came to pick everything up!

We were sad to leave the beauty of Maui. It was the most relaxing
vacation John and I have ever experienced. We usually love site-seeing
trips and being on the go. We are bored just sitting by the pool. But
Kihei was peaceful without being boring. We can't wait to return and
explore more of this incredible island. Farewell Maui!

Day Nine is Fine!

My first task after sending the kids home was to get all the sheets
and sandy towels washed! But then it was time to hit the beach! We
went back to Ahihi Cove and John did some snorkeling while Lavender
and I relaxed. There isn't sand to play in, but Lavender filled her
bucket with pebbles and rocks and had a great time. I took her a few
steps out into the crystal clear water and we saw lots of fish. She
loved it and couldn't stop giggling.

We wanted to explore another beach and thanks to the Maui Revealed
app, we found the Black Sand beach. The trip down the bumpy, dirt road
was well worth it. We found a pristine, nearly deserted beach. I was
nervous for John to snorkel by himself out in the ocean (instead of a
protected cove with others nearby) but gratefully he met another
snorkeler, a young French guy who lives near Portland.

There were lots of rocks just offshore, which made it a little tricky
to get out, but it was a perfect natural barrier for Lavender. She
played at the water's edge and then decided it would be funny to throw
that black sand all over mom! She was excited to see Daddy coming in
from snorkeling (although this picture is from the next day).

Just after John came up on the beach, rocks started coming down from
the hill above us. I yelled for John to grab Lavender and I was
worried that we shouldn't have ignored the sign warning of hazardous
conditions (but seriously, there were warning signs at every beach!)
As I looked up, I realized that the rocks weren't falling, but were
being thrown. I couldn't believe someone would do that! I was
wondering what to do, when Margo, the wife of the snorkeler, came
walking down the beach and told us that birds were the ones throwing
stones! We got a good laugh at that. We couldn't see them from our
vantage point, but she had a clear view from further down the beach.
FYI, this only reinforced my dislike of birds, although I am grateful
there are no seagulls in Maui!

We also had a great time walking along the rocks at the end of the
beach. There were lots of crabs and little fishes in the pools that
formed there. Lavender stuck her little toes in and giggled some more!

We sure did love the beaches on Maui. Every one was unique and had a
personality of its own!

The last day - but not for me!

Tuesday morning, John and I had our turn to get up early for
snorkeling. Ryan and Evan enjoyed it so much that they went for a
second time. The sun wasn't up when the Kai Kanani pulled up to the
beach and we got aboard. (We took the picture at the end of the trip)
Good thing the water is so warm in Maui!

We grabbed a bite to eat and before we knew it, we had arrived at the
island of Molokini, a sunken crater that is a marine life sanctuary. I
was nervous about snorkeling out in the ocean, but the staff was very
helpful and they had float belts and boogie boards for us to use. The
visibility was great and we saw lots of beautiful fish.

Next the went a little closer to shore along a coral ridge to look for
turtles. They were all down in their caves, but fortunately they came
out to say hi (and get some air). We saw about 10 of them up close.
It was pretty exciting to swim with the turtles! Evan had his GoPro
and he dove down to get video of them emerging from their caves.

It was a great morning! On the way back to our car, we saw this cool
quilt on display at the Makena Beach Resort, so I had to take a
picture.

Later on, we headed to Ahihi Cove for more snorkeling. Evan had a
great time and told me I should go out. I was reluctant because I
didn't have fins and I didn't want to cut my feet like Aaron. Evan
offered to tow me out on the boogie board so I could keep my feet up
and away from the coral. There were an amazing variety of fish and we
even saw a huge orange eel! I sure do have a kind son to take such
good care of me.

It was the kids' last day, so they got packed up and we got some
gelato before we took them to the airport. Molly & Ryab headed home
too, so just John, Lavender and I remained. Lavender was sad to see
everyone go, although she liked having us to herself. She kept saying,
"Mommy, Daddy, me!"

Day 7 in Paradise

The day started early for the boys. They had to check in for their
snorkel trip at 6:00 AM. They reported that it was well worth it to
get up early, even on vacation!

Afterwards, we all hit the beach. Well, various beaches. We dropped
Aaron and Evan off at Ahini Cove for a little more snorkeling. John,
Marianne, Lavender and I drove out through the lava fields to where
the road ends and we took a short hike. There were some gorgeous views
and we found a lava bridge on the beach that was spectacular. Sorry,
the photos are on Marianne's camera.

Then we stopped at Secret Cove, which is literally through a hole in
the wall. We found it through the Maui Revealed app, which I highly
recommend. Thanks to my friend Brandy for recommending it! We saw a
cool blow hole at the cove and some little tide pools full of various
creatures.

When we picked up the boys at Ahihi Cove, we found that Aaron had
sliced his foot pretty badly on some coral. He rested and kept his
foot up for the afternoon, but by evening it was clear he needed
stitches. It only took three stitches, but they had a tough time
getting the bleeding to stop and had to cauterize it. His other foot
was cut too, but not as badly.

On the way to urgent care, they dropped the rest of us off at the Te
Au Moana luau at the Wailea Marriott. It was a great luau with fun
things to see before dinner. We even watched them dig up the main
course, roast pig! John and Aaron joined us just in time for dinner.
Aaron propped his foot up and Ryan helped out getting his food. John
didn't appreciate the help very much when Ryan told him to grab a
virgin piña colada and after one sip, John was surprised to find he'd
gotten an alcoholic drink!

The show was fantastic with lots of Polynesian music and dancing.The
highlight was probably the fire dancer. The little girls loved running
around on the grass with their own versions of the dances. A few older
girls even helped out with "babysitting" which was fun for the little
ones. It was probably the most exciting Family Home Evening we've ever
experienced!

Day 6

The good news: Kihei 1st Ward of The Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-Day Saints meetinghouse was only 1/2 mile from our condo!

The less-than-good news: Church started at 9:00 AM.

Actually, the early meeting time was perfect. We were warmly greeted
by multiple prople as we entered the building and we loved hearing the
locals (and a few visitors) bear their testimonies. As a bonus, things
were on the casual side, so no one seemed to mind our three
rambunctious little girls or my two underdressed sons who forgot their
church clothes.

Later we took a drive to the lush 'Iao Valley. You can see the 'Iao
needle above Leighton's head, but the photo doesn't capture the beauty
of the area. It was a lovely green valley with a river running through
it. We arrived just after the Chinese tour bus left and finished up
just as the senior tour bus pulled up. Yeah for good timing. We
traveled a couple of miles down the road looking for a picnic table.
We hit the jackpot at the beautiful Kepaniwai Park and Memorial
Gardens.

After lunch, we succumbed to temptation at The Snow Factory. I know
you are disappointed in us, but you wouldn't be disappointed by the
yummy, frozen treat. It is kind of like a cross between shave ice and
ice cream. I guess you could call it shaved ice cream. Whatever it
was, it melted in your mouth!

At church, Molly saw one of her friend's parents who were visiting
Maui. They told her a great place to see the turtles. Coincidentally,
John wanted to go to the same beach to watch the windsurfers. We found
both the turtles (FYI, I got soaked by a wave taking the photo) and
the windsurfers at Ho'okipa Beach. We also found a great protected
area for the little girls to play!

Molly & Ryan stayed for sunset and got to see dozens of turtles coming
ashore. Apparently, this is fairly new turtle behavior on Maui and
it's cool they got to witness it.

The rest of us raced back to the condo to change clothes for a visit
with John's friend Jack and his wife Sheila. They moved to Maui a few
months ago and bought a home, but they have owned a condo here for
almost 20 years. We were fortunate to be able to rent it for our stay.
They prepared pupus (appetizers) for us, but they had so much
delicious food that we called it dinner. Their daughter (a former Four
Seasons bartender) even made each of us a lava flow, a fantastic
tropical drink, without the rum! We had a fun visit and I loved seeing
some of Sheila's beautiful quilts. It reminded me so much of my mom!
It was a sweet ending to our Sunday.

Day 5 - Full of Adventure

When we were planning out trip to Hawaii, the kids had lots of things
they wanted to do. But nothing is cheap on Maui, so we told them to
start saving their money. Marianne really wanted to go horseback
riding. She saved her money and did her research to find the best
place.

So this morning Evan, Marianne and I drove down south to Makena
Stables. The three of us had a wonderful ride accompanied by our
guides Mary and Christine. Along the way they taught us a lot about
local history and showed us everything there was to see. We rode on
the beach, near sacred native sites made of lava rock and even up to a
volcanic vent. We saw lots of baby goats and even a few spinner
dolphins out in La Perouse Bay.

I loved the horses too. They were well-trained and good natured. It
really is a great stable. They only offer one ride (2 1/2 - 3 hrs )
each day, either morning or at sunset. That means the horses are not
over-worked. They also keep the groups small with a maximum of 6
riders. We were fortunate to have just the three us!

After a quick lunch, my four oldest kids headed out for another
adventure--parasailing. They all loved it and said it was exciting.
They got dipped in the ocean at the end of the ride.

That afternoon John, Molly and I (the non-parasailers) took the little
girls to the beach. The adventurers joined us later and we all watched
the sun set on the gorgeous Maui coast.

Day 4 on the island

Today was a very relaxing, down day. We had a leisurely morning and
took our time getting to the beach. Evan and Ryan snorkeled a little
and Evan brought back this animal to show the little girls. (Don't
worry, he put it right back.) John and I took Lavender on a walk down
the beach and when the sand ended we continued along the coast on a
seemingly-abandoned golf cart path. The weather was perfect and the
views were spectacular.

That afternoon we headed back and stopped at the Kihei Caffe for a
late lunch. Later on we did a little souvenir shopping before Molly
and Ryan left to celebrate their anniversary. Evan was kind enough to
babysit the girls so they could have a night out.

What a peaceful, easy day!

Day 3 on Maui

This morning we were ready to tackle a mountain, so we set out for the
upcountry! it was a beautiful drive into the heart of Maui and our
first stop was in Haiku where we rented bikes for the guys. Brianne
was insulted that she didn't get one!

We began the long, winding (but beautiful) drive to Haleakala National
Park. I was pretty nervous to imagine John and the boys riding back
down the mountain road we climbed. There was not much of a bike lane
and it was very steep with poor visibility.

The visibility wasn't much better at the top. We were disappointed not
to have a view of the island, but we saw lots of lava rock, clouds and
some cool plants. There were no picnic tables, but we found a bench
and ate the lunch we had packed that morning.

Next it was time to launch the guys on their adventure. They headed
down the mountain while we prayed. We left a few minutes after them
and we couldn't believe how far they had gotten when we finally passed
them. They must have been going close to 40 mph and I'm not sure how
they managed those hairpin turns. It was a little scary driving the
car down the mountain, let alone a bike!

Meanwhile, we girls set out on our own adventure. We visited to the
Ali'i Kula Lavender Farm. That may not sound very adventurous, but it
was pretty exciting when the torrential downpour began. We didn't get
to walk through the fields, but we enjoyed the gift shop and the
excitement of driving out on the flooding, muddy roads once the guys
called and asked us to hurry and pick them up so that we could return
the bikes before closing time. We made it back to the bike shop just
in time!

On the way back, I really wanted to stop at the Surfing Goat Dairy
Farm. I had tasted their delicious cheese at Extraordinary Desserts
and I was thrilled when I realized the dairy was in Maui. My family
wasn't quite as thrilled, but they were all good sports. We sampled
the cheese, fed the goats, watched them being milked and even tasted
some of their chocolate truffles. Yum!

Back in Kihei, we stopped at a Halloween Carnival at a local church.
They had food trucks, a petting zoo, live music, a playground and
more. Their trunk or treat was especially impressive. Every car was
cleverly decorated and many had games set up for the kids to play. The
candy was good too! No one handed out a stingy dum-dum or pack or a
mini pack of Smarties. These folks knew how to celebrate Halloween. It
was perfect for the little girls and the big kids enjoyed the candy!

It really was another day in paradise.

Happy Halloween!

Day 2

Fresh pineapple was the perfect way to start our first full day in
Hawaii. We visited turtle town, but found no turtles. We still enjoyed
snorkeling and playing in the waves and sand. My favorite part was
having our whole family together and watching my kids and grandkids
spend time together.

It was a beautiful day, made even better by our lunch--fish tacos at
Coconut's. I am not usually a fan, but these were amazingly delicious.
We had to find an equally yummy dessert and we did at Ululani's Shave
ice. It was heavenly.

We spend the evening hanging out in our condo snacking on chocolate
covered macadamia nutsa while the girls made full use of the toys we
rented in addition to the crib & carseat.

After dinner we watched I Am Legend (both endings) and headed to bed,
not quite as tired, but definitely fuller than the night before!

Day 1 in Maui

Crazy picture for a crazy day. Started out with three hours sleep and
a cold/rainy morning. Next came too many hours in the air with a
toddler and two terrible diaper changes in flight. She loved the long
walk down the aisle to the bathroom and waved and said "hi" to other
fortunate fliers. She also loved playing with stickers and I resorted
to putting them on our noses to keep her entertained. Her favorite
part was looking out the window. A close second was pouring ice water
back and forth between two cups.

After landing we stopped at Coatco for lunch and groceries. Then to
WalMart for diapers and finally to our condo. We met Ryan and family
at the beach. There were lots of dogs which were a hit with the little
girls. Their favorite pup wore a lei and sunglasses.

We enjoyed a gorgeous Hawaiian sunset and walked across the street to
our condo. After dinner, we watched Terminal and then, thoroughly
exhausted, fell asleep.

Three Years

Today marks three years since my mom passed away. I am especially thankful that John and I have been blessed with:

• Our beautiful Lavender Jane and her four fantastic older siblings
• A thoughtful, caring daughter-in-law 
• The two most perfect granddaughters in the world 

I truly am grateful, but my heart aches because my mom isn't here to laugh with Lavender. She isn't here to hug Aaron and ask him about his mission. She can't talk to Marianne all about her college classes or take a drive with Evan and tell him stories of her car crash as a 16 year old. She won't be here to assure Ryan and Molly that they are great parents or explain that Brianne looks so much like her own Grandma Zobrist.  She won't be able to give her little namesake, Leighton Anne, a big hug and kiss.  

Today we will watch General Conference together and feel the Spirit as God's prophets speak to us. But it will be a bittersweet day as we remember all the conference weekends spent at Grandma's house and wish we could be together again. We will remember the last conference we watched together, and the sadness of watching Mom prepare to leave this earth and return to her heavenly home.  

My mom delighted in her family and she loved being a mother and grandmother. I know she would love to be with us this weekend and I hope that she knows how much joy we feel just being together. I am grateful she taught us all the importance of family and of the gospel. I know she rejoices in her posterity. I know we will be together again one day. But I wish we could feel her hugs. I wish we could hear her ringing laughter. I want to see her smile and hear her reassuring words. I want my children and grandchildren to feel the strength of her testimony and the power of her love. It is still there. It is still real. I long for a way to make it more tangible.

Today I will hug them just a moment longer. I will smile just a little wider. I will laugh just a little longer. I will speak just a bit more gently. And maybe, just maybe, a glimmer of my mom will shine through.

A Slip Shop 25% Off!

I've told you before about my brother David and his beautiful bride Annie.  They have been working on a new project with Annie's sister. She has figured out how to solve a problem that many women face.

Q:  What do you do with a skirt or dress you love that is just a little too short?
A:  Get a beautiful slip extender!

The slips come in with lace, tulle, organza and silk trim.  They are great for lengthening dresses or changing the look of a favorite skirt. Here is Annie modeling an ivory tulle slip.

Take a look at A Slip Shop HERE and be sure to enter LAUNCHPARTY for a 25% discount!  The coupon code is good for the next few days.

Best Daughter Ever!

When I pick up my phone, I never know what I will find as my wallpaper.  It changes every day, sometimes more than once a day and it almost always makes me laugh.  My wonderful daughter loves to surprise me. Marianne is the queen of selfies and she has the greatest expressions. Where did she learn to make such fabulous faces?  I'm not sure, but I do know that several years ago she got the complete "I Love Lucy" series for Christmas.  I suspect that Lucy's funny faces and great acting skills have rubbed off on Marianne. And just so you know, she is an equal opportunity photo poster.  She often includes funny pictures of other family members, but her selfies are my favorites.  Here are a few of her recent (very successful) attempts to put a smile on her mom's face.

Negative Self-Talk or Something Else?

When I was in college, I read Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness. During our classroom discussion, the professor emphasized that most negative, dark, evil feelings and ideas come from deep within each of us. At first I struggled with this concept, but eventually I decided he was right. Just a few weeks ago I realized that I have believed this lie for almost 30 years.

Darkness and negativity come from one source—Satan, the enemy of all righteousness (Acts 13:10, Alma 34:23).

I recently read Joseph Smith History and I had the impression that Joseph’s experiences followed a pattern, so I made a list. 

God and his messengers:

Call us by name (v 33, 49)

Command, urge action (v 17, 19-20, 42)

Quote scripture (v 36-41)

Warn (v 42, 46)

Use repetition (v 45, 46, 54)

Encourage us to tell the truth, not keep secrets (v 49)

Urge patience (v 42, 54, 54)

Invite us to ask questions and provide answers (v 18-19)

The adversary:

Causes powerful feelings (v 15-16)

Brings darkness (v 15)

Is negative, i.e. despair, doom, destruction (v 15, 16)

Binds us (v 15, 17)

I doubt that any of us will have experiences quite like Joseph’s, but we can all be influenced by God’s Spirit and by the adversary. We need to recognize and acknowledge the true source of negative thoughts and feelings rather than blaming ourselves. Instead, we can “labor diligently, that we may conquer the enemy of all righteousness.” (Moroni 9:6)

Linda Reeves said, “We sometimes . . . have a tendency to be very critical of ourselves. During these times, we need to seek the Spirit and ask, ‘Is this what the Lord wants me to think about myself, or is Satan trying to beat me down?’ Remember the nature of our Heavenly Father, whose love is perfect and infinite. He wants to build us up, not tear us down.”

I have a challenge for you:  This week, pay attention to your thoughts and feelings and try to identify their source.

Homecoming

We were waiting at the wrong baggage claim area, but a shuttle driver
overheard us talking and told us where he saw "the guy with a badge."
All sixteen of us ran through the airport carrying our "Welcome Home!"
signs and eventually we found him. Elder Aaron is home at last! What a
wonderful day.

In Training

I graduated from my Mothers Who Know class almost two weeks ago, but I was hungry for more.  So I decided to get serious and start Boot Camp.  I spent Saturday at "Prevention Boot Camp" and I will continue my training over the next two months. What am I training for?

I am training to become an Eternal Warriors Addiction Prevention Mentor.  That's a mouthful, isn't it?! It may be a big title, but it is an important job.  There are many programs available to help those struggling with addiction, but wouldn't it be wonderful if we could prevent the addictions in the first place?

We all hope our children will be strong enough to avoid such problems, but what can we do? Can you imagine a generation of youth who have have the discernment, endurance and skills needed to avoid becoming entangled in pornography or other addictions?  I know it is possible, IF our children and teenagers have the training and practice they need to defeat the fiery darts of the adversary.

That's why I'm in training.  I need to be in tip top shape to help families arm themselves and learn to win the war against addiction!

Click HERE to learn more.  Email me at tohappyhartz (at) gmail (dot) com if you would like to learn how to get a copy of a book that explains more about the addiction fighting principles of the Sons of Helaman Program.

Not That I'm Excited or Anything

Busy Hands

Scribbling on walls

In Evan's notebook

Or Marianne's journal 

Opening then closing

Doors, drawers and cupboards

With a slam and a bang

Grasping for leverage

To climb upon

The refrigerator or piano

Pulling and grabbing

The doggy's tail

Or sister's hair

Finally at bedtime

Blowing kisses

And waving goodnight

Clutching her dolly

Gently patting mama

Still at last

Melanie

A New Post, but first an FYI

FYI:  If you are reading this, I want you to know I did not write my last post about you.  You are definitely NOT driving me crazy!  Hope everyone is breathing easier now!  So why did I write it? A friend recently mentioned her struggles with a teenage son and I remembered what I learned several years ago when I first read this article.  After re-reading it, I thought it was worth sharing with you. And I don't mean any of you specifically, just any and all of you!

======================

Now on to our regularly sporadically scheduled post.

Let's talk about filters for a minute.  No, I don't mean the apps you use to make your Instagram photos look cool.  I mean the filters that keep the nasty stuff from showing up on your computer.  We all want to protect our families from pornography and filters are one way to do that.

Now I know you may have a list of reasons why you don't have filters on your computer/phone/ipad/itouch.

• My kids are too young to worry about that
• No one uses my [insert digital device of your choice] but me
• The filter might block sites I want to use
• I don't want to spend the money on that
• I'm not tech savvy enough to figure that out
• I'll do it later 
• I have really good kids and I trust them
• It can't block everything, so why bother?
• Our filter doesn't work right, so I disabled/removed it
• It makes my internet run really slow.

I get it, I really do.  Filters are a pain.

But do you really want to find out that your child, grandchild, spouse, babysitter, nephew etc is addicted to porn and you didn't do everything you could to prevent it?  Are you willing to take the risk that a family member might accidentally see pornography on your laptop/phone/ipad/itouch?  Do you want someone using your wifi to view porn or show it to an innocent child?

No, filters don't offer complete protection, but without them, we are leaving our doors wide open and inviting the adversary to come on in. So what can you do?

1. Install a router based filter so that any person/device using your wifi is protected.  This is even available FREE through services like OpenDNS which actually makes your internet faster. Another option is buying a router like Pandora's Hope.
2. Install filtering software on each and every one of your mobile devices.  Why?  Because they're mobile.  You will be using them on other networks besides your own wifi.  
3. Check your filters regularly to be sure they're working. Set a date on your calender once a week/month to remind you.  It only takes a second to test an objectionable website.  I have been shocked to learn that my filters weren't working on several occasions.  I have had a great filter from my cell phone provider, but recently I found that it didn't work with the latest software update!

So please, learn how to prevent addiction, teach your family to do what's right, help them understand the dangers and what to do if they see pornography.  Talk about it often, but don't forget the filters! 

Source

Thinking Above the Line

Do you have someone in your life who is driving you crazy?!  Go ahead, you can admit it.  I promise not to tell anyone.

When this crazy-making person is a member of your family, things get even more complicated.  You love this person. You don't want to have negative feelings about him or her. Things need to change, but you're not sure what to do.

The answer is :  Think above the line!

Here is a little visual depiction of how to get started.

Good qualities

Talents, strengths

Things I love about this person

Anything positive I can say about this individual

___________________________

Weaknesses, sins, problems

Bad habits, sadness

Everything negative about this person

Sometimes it is difficult to think of much to write above the line, but it's a good way to get started. Next, read this great article that explains how to use this thinking to make a change in your life and in the life of the person who has been scrambling your brain cells. The article is written specifically for parents dealing with difficult teens, but the principles can work in any difficult relationship.  Go ahead, give it a try!

Nine Eleven

Twelve years ago today, my nine year old son wrote this:

I am glad we have a written record of his reaction to this horrible tragedy.  May we always remember.
You may wonder about the last line of his journal entry.  He was referring to the satellite dish that my brother was installing on our roof.  TV was a huge part of that day.  We spent much of the day and the following days watching news coverage of 911 and the aftermath.  I am grateful my children were home with me on that fateful day, that we were able to watch, discuss and cry together.

A New To Do List

Elder Aaron emailing from the church in Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario

Elder Aaron emails us each week. I almost always get a fairly long email and he often sends an email to the immediate family.  This week John and I both got very short emails of a couple of sentences, but Marianne and Evan both received long emails.  Evan asked his big brother for advice about what to do in his spare time.  Aaron replied with a long list of ideas.

I thought I would share it with you in hopes it might spark an idea for you or for a family member. Sometimes we just need a little inspiration to get started on a project!

1. Learn how to operate ham radio and talk to people over the radio. 
2. Write in your journal about meaningful experiences in your life. Write about your goals, what you want to accomplish, and who you want to become. Take a video logs of yourself answering these questions. 
3. Play the piano. 3.5 Take voice lessons 
4. Find a service that lets you video chat with deaf people and practice ASL with a native speaker. Or find deaf people in Poway and practice with them. There has to be a deaf group somewhere in Poway. They would probably be impressed that you're striving to learn their language. [Marianne & Evan are taking an ASL class at the community college.] Don't worry if you can't communicate very well just practice. 
5. Interview Grandpa about his life and record the interview by video and/or audio. Have him record stories from his life. How did he join the church? How did he meet grandma? What were his pastimes as a teenager? What are his memories of his parents? 
6. Learn about computer hardware and build a computer. 
7. Work out at Brother Killen's house. [A friend with weights and equipment we can use for free.]
8. Seriously research universities. Why would you want to go there? What do you want to study there? What do you want to do when you graduate? Will you go to graduate school? 
9. Start taking a picture of yourself every day. By the time you're 25 you'll have a photographic history of growing up. That would be awesome! 
10. Have Dad teach you about financial stuff and develop a financial plan for your life. 
11. Play with Lavender or plant a garden with Evan. 
12. Build a password scheme for your different accounts. 
13. Make your passwords stronger than they are now. 
14. Check out the original papyrus for facsimile no.1 in the Book of Abraham on josephsmithpapers.org. 
15. Plan a Family home evening and carry it out. 
16. Work on your Eagle Scout project. (This one doesn't apply to Marianne directly. Maybe it can be "Help Evan with his Eagle project")
17. Convince Mom and Dad to take the family to a Jewish worship service on a Saturday. Find a good synagogue that would be happy to have you. Study a little about Judaism before you go. It would be a good cultural experience. 
18. Take principles from chapter 3 in Preach My Gospel and learn what other faiths believe about those principles. If possible, ask a real person. Write a paper about it. Do Roman Catholics believe in a premortal life? What do orthodox Jews think about baptism? How does the Islamic perception of God differ from your beliefs? 
19. Take pictures.

Did you know Elder Aaron will be home in 15 days?!  The kids told him we can visit a Jewish synagogue together after he gets home.

Can't wait to see him in two weeks!

Who? The Answer is You!

I hope you can take a minute to check out this website.  They even have a free book you can download HERE. It has a wealth of information including discussion points and lessons for children of all ages.  You can make a difference--starting in your own home!

Why, Oh Why?

This little girl LOVES to ask, "Why?" and she does it over and over.   It used to drive me crazy with my older kids, but with Lavender it usually just makes me laugh. I know that inquisitiveness is a good quality. In fact, it's how we learn!  Especially when we ask the right questions and listen for answers.

We recently had a training meeting with the incredible mentors from our commonwealth school (homeschool group) and we discussed the power of questions.  Here are a couple of quotations that may give you food for thought or perhaps lead you to ask, "why?"

Questions can linger in our hearts and in our minds in very useful ways, all the while inviting us to see things we haven't before. Have you ever noticed that question marks are shaped like hooks? That's because questions come with that little hook at the end; they hook thoughts and feelings and possible actions. One question can pull all of that into your heart and mind. That's a pretty powerful hook!    - Wendy Watson Nelson, "Asking for Questions"

There are tactical advantages as well as spiritual advantages that can accompany inspired questions. In a modern metaphor that you’re familiar with, inspired questions put the ball on the other side of the net, leaving people free to respond without our being unduly pressing or aggressive. Others may not respond, of course. Nevertheless, the invitations are clearly there, for quality questions linger, especially if they are asked in love. - Neal Maxwell, "Jesus the Perfect Mentor"

What questions do you have?  Where do you find the answers?  And do you have any suggestions on how to teach my toddler to stop tormenting the dog?!