Happy, Happy Birthday Daddy Dear!

My dad has always been a teacher. After his PhD thesis was written, he taught courtroom judges about non-verbal communication. His early working years were spent as a university professor. Later, he offered seminars and classes in forgiveness and relationship-building. Over the years, he taught thousands of people in his church callings. Most importantly, he worked to teach his five children many important life lessons. This was no small feat for someone who was without a father during most of his formative years.  This post explains how he taught me to read, keep the commandments, work hard and be prepared. Dad taught me lots of other things as well.

"Quality" is the lesson stands out in my mind. It was taught bit by bit over many years. As I was growing up, my dad frequently talked about quality. He encouraged us to choose high-quality friends and to always do quality work. He made a point of getting to know my friends and he let me know he was proud of the great people I spent time with. Dad didn't judge my friends based on their religion or family circumstances. Instead he appreciated their individual strengths. One of my good friends was incredibly intelligent, mature and a very hard worker. Her family struggled financially and Dad helped her find work during high school and college.

As we got older, Dad reminded us of the importance of finding a quality spouse. He often reminded me that I should get to know the family of those I dated, because "you don't just marry a person. You marry a family."  Dad told me that he trusted me to choose a great spouse because I had always chosen outstanding friends. Fortunately, he approved of John as soon as he met him. John was relieved to "pass" the not-so-subtle "interview" with my Dad.

Dad taught us to do quality work in every situation. I remember him teaching my brother Scott how to mow and edge the lawn. Scott learned to do a better job than the gardeners and the neighbors hired him to take care of their yards. My siblings and I were given the chance to work at Dad's business. One of the first jobs was stuffing envelopes.  He had a particular way he wanted us to fold the mailers. He explained the reason behind the folding and the importance of doing it correctly.  Then he made sure we knew how to do it right. I think of  my dad any time I stuff an envelope.

Of course, Dad always wanted me to do a quality job on my schoolwork. I remember Dad reading over my assignments to discuss the ideas I was presenting. Dad knew he wasn't the best at proof-reading and he left that to Mom, but he was all about the big picture!  He encouraged me and challenged me to always do my very best, particularly in my writing.

Dad even wanted me to be a quality driver. He and Mom carefully prepared me to get my driver's license when I turned 16. I hated driving the bright yellow station wagon to school, but then my Dad came up with something I thought was even worse.  He told me a could drive the nicer, smaller car, but it had a manual transmission. He explained the importance of learning to drive a stick-shift, especially if an emergency were to arise. He took me out to practice, but I was grouchy and humiliated when some boys from my high school showed up in the parking lot where we were practicing. I refused to practice any more with Dad, so he told me I could learn on my own. I was only allowed to drive the stick-shift from then on. We lived in a very hilly area and I stalled the car and rolled backwards down many hills before I finally mastered the art of a using that clutch.  At the time, I thought my father was mean for "forcing" me to drive the (very nice, new) car with a manual transmission. Twenty five years later, I finally realized the gift of quality my Dad had given me. My oldest son was a car enthusiast, and he wanted to learn to drive a stick-shift so that he would be ready to drive expensive sports cars. We borrowed my brother-in-law's Honda and headed to a church parking lot. As we drove around, Ryan began to get frustrated and clearly it was my fault. Finally I asked him to stop the car. I grabbed my cell phone and called my Dad. It was a short conversation.

"Dad, I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted when you tried to teach me to drive a stick-shift." Dad started laughing.  It was a long time to wait for an apology, but he didn't seem to mind. And Ryan eventually learned how the clutch worked. His dreams later came true on several occasions when he got to drive Porsches.

I many not have always appreciated my Dad's focus on quality when I was growing up, but I surely do now.  I love you Dad!  Happy Birthday!  Have a QUALITY Birthday!!

Our quality family circa 1982, around the time I learned to drive a stick-shift

Happy Father's Day

 (or Daddy Day as Lavender calls it.)

Here are a few pictures of my daddy.

Such a handsome guy!

When I was very young, my Dad used to make up stories for me at bedtime.  My favorites were about "Elmer the Eagle."  I don't remember much about Elmer's adventures, but I know they often had a moral about obeying or making good choices. Dad was always trying to teach me and take care of me.

Now my oldest son is a father and today he reminded me of my dad.  He asked his four year old if she wanted to go to the store that Sunday afternoon.  It might have looked like he was teasing her, but he was really trying to teach her. My dad often did that sort of thing. On the way home from church he'd ask if we wanted to stop and get an ice cream cone or go to the drive-in movie. My brother sometimes answered "yes," but I knew it was a trick question to see if we would remember to keep the Sabbath day holy.

My Dad has always had a good sense of humor and liked to tease. At the store they'd ask for his phone number when he paid with a check (yes, we actually used to do things that way!)  He would reply that he didn't have a phone. The store clerk would get a little flustered and then my Dad would laugh and give his phone number.  He also liked to have fun at election time.  Once a friend of his was running for a local office and Dad put signs for the opposing candidate in his yard one night.  They both got a good laugh out of that.

When I was a teenager my Dad began having serious problems and pain in his leg.  Finally, he was diagnosed  with cancer.  He and my mother were very concerned and Dad talked to me about the possibility of dying from cancer.  I was not very understanding and I got really upset with him. I got out a copy of his patriarchal blessing and read part of it to him that promised him health and a long life.  I wasn't very gentle or compassionate, but I was full of faith that my dad would be healed. Dad received priesthood blessings and many friends and family members prayed for him.  Later, he went in for another biopsy and the doctors could find no evidence of cancer.  They said that the initial diagnosis must have been in error. We knew the truth:  Dad was healed by the power of God.

I am grateful for my Dad and all that he has taught me throughout my life. I love you Dad!

My Dad - An Original Hipster

Father's Day seems like a good time to share a few stories and memories of my Dad.

As the oldest child in the family, I was blessed to have lots of one-on-one time with my Dad.  When I was three we lived across the street from Drake University, in Des Moines, Iowa, where he was a professor.  Sometimes he would take me to his office on campus.  I remember walking past the dry cleaners with the giant, rotating hanger. Crisp autumn leaves were everywhere and I loved crunching them as we walked hand in hand towards the brick buildings.  He showed me some of the audio visual equipment he used in his classes and I got to meet some of the people he worked with.  At that moment I knew I wanted to go to college some day!

I remember my dad reading me Puss and Boots and editing another of my books that mentioned "bad tasting medicine."  Apparently he didn't want me refusing to take medicine.  Dad taught me to read before I went to kindergarten using homemade flashcards.  He started with rhyming words like cat, mat, sat and bat.  In first grade, I was bored with the work in my class.  My dad encouraged me to talk to my teacher and ask her for extra assignments.  Years later I learned that my teacher was one of my dad's students at the university, and not one of his better students.  He was concerned about my education and considered having me moved to another class, but instead he helped me learn to work with my teacher and seek challenges beyond the "Dick and Jane" readers we used in class.

Dad was never a handy-man, but he lovingly built and painted an A-frame clubhouse in the backyard for my brother Scott and I. Dad got a large garden plot on some land a few miles from our house.  He planted a garden and taught us to weed and water it. He took us with him and mom when they had assignments to de-tassel corn at the church welfare farm.  We just played, but we saw how hard they worked.

Dad's home teaching route covered many miles and sometimes he took me along to visit the widows.  I loved that special time with him.  Often on the way home from church my dad would ask a trick question.  "Would you like to stop for an ice cream cone?" or "Should we go to the drive in movie tonight?"  Of course, the right answer was, "No, Daddy.  It's Sunday and we keep the Sabbath day holy."  He often gave me little quizzes. "How much tithing would you owe if you earned $4.00?"  Math wasn't my favorite subject, but I figured it out and gave Dad the answer.  Dad was the bishop of our ward when I turned eight and I thought it was wonderful that he gave me my baptismal interview.

When I was almost eleven years old, Dad took a sabbatical from the university and our family moved to California.  He bought a temporary employment agency.  The next summer when I turned twelve, I started working for him.  At first I just stuffed envelopes, but soon he had me practicing on an adding machine and filing papers.  Later I learned to type invoices and do other paperwork.  Eventually I became the receptionist, answering the phones in a professional voice that my sister still calls my "fake voice." Beginning in high school I worked every day after school and full time in the summer.  As a young adult I interviewed potential employees, filled orders for clients and trained employees in word processing and data entry.  Dad told me to call him "Bob" while we were in the office. He taught me to work hard, be diplomatic and interact with all different kinds of people.

When I went off to college, my dad wanted to make sure I was prepared in every way!  I was one of the few people in my dorm to have a computer.  Dad also gathered a little tool kit for me.  I was the only girl in my dorm with a screwdriver, pliers and a hammer.  They came in very handy when we discovered that our window had a "safety feature" and would only open a couple of inches.  Safety was no match for my tool kit and I promptly broke fixed the window so that it opened all the way.  Soon my tools and I were in demand and I  was helping girls all over our floor fix their windows.  How else were we supposed to have long conversations with boys (who were forbidden in the dorms except on certain Sundays during visiting hours) who passed by?

Even better than the tool kit, were the letters my dad wrote to me when I was away at BYU.  He gave me advice about school, life and marriage.  My dad worked hard to teach and guide me.  He provided me with countless opportunities to learn and grow.  Sometimes I resisted his efforts, like the time I stubbornly refused to learn the state capitols during a road trip, or the time I refused to ride an ATV on the sand dunes during a family vacation. But most of the time I listened and learned.  I am grateful to my dad for his loving guidance.  I have never doubted his love and concern for me.

Happy Father's Day Dad!  I love you!

Family Reunion

As a little girl, I knew that my parents came from very different families.  My mom had a huge extended family just a few generations removed from handcart pioneers.  They held big family reunions and published family history books.  My dad had a very small family and we didn't know too much about them.  Several years ago, my dad was able to make contact with his half-siblings that he hadn't seen or heard from in many years.  He was especially touched when his brother Dan and his sister Cheryl came all the way from Minnesota for my mom's funeral.

Last weekend Dan made another trip to southern California and this time he brought his wife Karen.  It was wonderful to spend some time with them and get to know them better. On Saturday we all got together for a visit to La Jolla Cove.  Even though it was a little chilly for the rest of us, it didn't feel cold to Dan and Karen and they were happy to be on the beach enjoying the waves and the sand.

I was having so much fun visiting with them and taking pictures, that I didn't notice my flip flop was headed out with the tide.  Fortunately, Cammi grabbed it for me!

I think my dad and Dan look alike, but I couldn't believe how much Dan's sense of humor and personality reminded me of my dad.  Dan is about 17 years younger than my  dad--the same age difference between me and my youngest brother David.

Next the family went to explore the tide pools.  Molly and I didn't go down.  We stayed with the strollers, thinking the little girls could play on the grass.

    Instead, they wanted to play in the dirt and climb trees.  But they had a great time getting dirty!

Lavender was following this seagull and was surprised when he flew away.

Evan got in some good unicycling, but our game of frisbee was cut short when the frisbee went flying over the cliff and into the ocean.  Not even Cammi could get that one back for us.  Later, most of the adults went out for Thai food.  We had so much fun laughing and talking and eating.  I haven't had such a fun dinner in quite awhile!

On Sunday, my dad, Dan and Karen did a bit of sightseeing and then joined us for the Cinco de Mayo dinner I told you about in my last post.  We are so glad they came to visit!  They are such lovely people and it was a treat to have them here.  Dad's side of the family seems to be growing bigger and better!

Surprises, Big and Small

In the past few years, I have learned to appreciate the unexpected!   Here are three recent surprises in my life:

#1

I was called as the Ward Music Chairman at church.  I was very surprised, but also relieved by the calling because I knew our Young Women's Presidency was being reorganized and the thought of those responsibilities overwhelmed me.  I was surprised because each of the Ward Music Chairmen I've known has been a great musician.  You know, the kind of person who can step in at a moment's notice to sing or play the piano or conduct a quartet. Ummm. That is certainly not me!  However, I am the kind of person who can plan, organize and invite (that sounds so much nicer than nag, doesn't it?) people to share their musical talents in Sacrament meetings each Sunday.  Beautiful music really does bring the spirit and I am grateful for the opportunity to help our ward members feel closer to our Heavenly Father.  And if you'd like to volunteer (or volunteer in behalf of a friend or family member) please let me know!  If necessary, I promise your anonymity will be protected.

#2

I have been wheat-free for six weeks now.  I have been surprised how easy it has been to stay off of wheat.  I took a couple of bites of a bun once without thinking and I cheated on two occasions.  But overall, I've done really well.  I have always eaten 100% whole wheat bread and I would have told you that I eat mainly whole grains.  When I cut out wheat, I realized that I wasn't eating things like hamburger buns, waffles, brownies, birthday cake or flour tortillas.  None of which are whole grain, of course!  Within a few days, I noticed that I had more energy and less desire for sugar.  The big surprise was that I have no joint paint.  I have had minor aches and pains in my hips for for quite a few years.  Since I gave birth to Lavender, I have had swelling and pain in my fingers and shoulder.  After I had been off wheat for a month, I suddenly realized that I hadn't had any joint pain in weeks!  Sadly, giving up wheat has not led to much weight loss for me.  I am back on Weight Watchers Online, but wheat-free this time.  I have to mention that the WW app makes it really easy to track your food, exercise etc.

#3 - The Grand Finale!

My dad and Carolyn went skydiving!  I never would have expected my dad to do something like that, but he did!  I am impressed with their courage and sense of adventure.  They did tandem dives while strapped to an instructor who was in charge of the essentials:  pulling the chute, landing and filming the jump.  They both had a great experience, with the photos and video to prove it.  My dad highly recommends it (once the kids are grown) and even found it full of spiritual symbolism.  For me, watching the video has cemented my decision to never, ever jump out of an airplane.  You can watch the video HERE and decide for yourself.

Party Animals

Marianne planned her first party at the age of three.  She didn't get her party planning skills from me.  It must have skipped a generation since her Grandma Anne was a great party planner.

When I was a little girl, we lived in a split level house in Des Moines, Iowa.  It was a great house for a party because it had so many different "spaces." If my parents had friends over for a dinner party, the kids could be down in the family room or even the basement.  For kids' parties, there was a screened porch on the back of the house.  My brother Scott and I had several birthday parties in that house, but my favorite party was hosted by my parents.  It was a backwards party.  I remember my mom thinking of all the different things they could do backwards.  Everyone was encouraged to wear their clothes backwards.  They had dessert first, followed by the main course and then appetizers.  Guests were greeted at the door with a cheery, "goodbye!"  I think the table was even set backwards.  My mom had a lot of fun planning it, and I was thrilled to be included in her preparations.

Another time, I wanted to do something to raise money for Muscular Dystrophy.  My mom helped me organize quite a party.  We hosted a backyard carnival complete with games and prizes.  We invited our friends and neighbors to join us under the crab apple tree for a fun afternoon.  Of course, they needed to buy tickets to play the games and all the money went to the MDA.  I am sure the amount we raised was fairly small, but I really don't remember.  I will never forget how much time my mom spent helping me prepare for the carnival!

As a teenager, my mom encouraged my brother Scott and I to have occasional parties with our friends.  She always made sure there was plenty of good food and helped us come up with fun games to play and movies to watch.  I think she was often more excited about the parties than we were!  She threw me a Sweet Sixteen birthday party and I remember how beautiful the cake was with big roses.  We almost always had homemade cakes, so having a large, professionally decorated cake was a big deal to me.

My mom and Marianne had a special bond with their shared love of party planning.  One time we were on a car trip together and Mom started discussing her funeral with Marianne.  I told her that was too morbid and to stop talking about it, but she insisted.  She said that Marianne was the only one she could trust to follow through with her plans.  She said she wanted a celebration at her funeral.  I told her I didn't want to talk about it and refused to be part of the conversation, but I had to listen since we were all in the car together!  Mom said she knew the family would insist on a traditional funeral and that was fine, but that she wanted a party afterwards with balloons and Peanut M&Ms. She wanted everyone to have fun and not be sad.

The conversation was nearly forgotten, but when my mom passed away about five years later, Marianne reminded us that Grandma wanted a celebration at her funeral.  And so we had one.  After the funeral services in the church chapel, we had a luncheon.  The cultural hall was decorated with balloons and many beautiful quilts my mom made.  Every table had a bowl of M&M's and we had wonderful food provided by members of her ward.  We sang a few fun songs together and shared a few stories and memories.  After the graveside services, we had a balloon release.  My cousin Kristen took lots of wonderful photos that you can see HERE.  My mom was definitely there with us.  She never would have missed such a great party!

Mom and Dad in 1974 or 1975 - Doesn't she look ready to party in that dress?!

Christmas Feels Different This Year

For me, Christmas is all about traditions.  Things have been pretty much the same for as long as I can remember.  We always have the same Christmas eve meal that my family had when I was growing up.  Santa Claus does things exactly the same way he did as when I was a kid.  When I was 12 years old, my best friend and I started a secret Christmas giving tradition that my family still loves today.  Our family newsletter tradition is only 18 years old, so that's a recent addition for us!

I've never been one to shake things up or try something different at Christmastime.  But in 2010, my mom passed away and everything changed.  Not only was my sweet Mom gone, but my dad went with my brother's family on a trip to NYC.  It was fun for them and a much-needed change for Dad, but it was really hard on me.  It was my first Christmas ever without my parents!  I had spent every single one of my 43 Christmases with my mom and dad.  Most of the time, my siblings were all there too!  That was the beginning of a big change for me.

Most things are still the same. We still decorate the tree with our traditional ornaments, but we've added some of Mom's.  We'll be baking and making our favorite Christmas cookies and treats.  We've got our baskets full of Christmas books in the living room.  I have my favorite decorations out.

Some things are different, of course.  I will miss being with my brothers at Christmas and I will certainly miss Elder Aaron.  Different isn't always bad though. My Dad's wife Carolyn joins us now.  She has a great sense of humor and makes the best desserts ever.  She made our white elephant exchange especially fun last year.  Lavender is here now too and she will bring a special excitement and joy to our celebrations!  With her and our little granddaughters here, it has been fun to shop for the little ones again.  I also talked it over with Marianne and Evan and we decided that Santa will wrap all of their presents from now on.  Santa has always carefully arranged his gifts on the couches for the children until they leave home.  He will still do that for Lavender, but not for the older kids.

It is freeing and exciting to introduce a bit of change into our Christmas traditions.  I know that as my family grows, things will continue to change.  We have already added a beautiful daughter-in-law and I am hopeful that our children will bring spouses and add grandchildren to our family in the coming years.  Changes will come and for the first time, I am excited about them.  As long as our focus is on our Savior Jesus Christ, our Christmas celebrations will be joyous!

Trip to Utah - Bonus: Nordstrom

This isn't part 4 of our trip it just a little bonus I wanted to share.  One afternoon while we were in Utah, the guys went golfing, the girls went to City Creek mall in Salt Lake.  You tell me who made the better choice?  If you have any doubt, I suggest you remember two letters that are very important in the summertime:  A/C!  While we didn't buy anything at Nordstom, we were very excited to see a fabulous work of art by our niece Jennifer Rasmusson.  Jenny is the oldest daughter of John's sister Jean.  The painting is called "Current Reflection" and I love it.  You can see more of Jenny's work HERE.

Marianne wasn't surprised that I didn't buy anything at Nordstrom.  My kids probably think that I have never shopped at Nordstrom. They would be surprised to know that the Nordstrom employees once knew me by name.  Yes, it's true.  I was once a serious Nordstrom shopper.  I used to get a personal phone call when there was a sale or when something new that was "my style" arrived. 

These days I am not much of a shopper.  I buy my clothes at Costco, Kohl's or Old Navy.  But once upon a time, I loved shopping at Nordstom.  Starting the summer after sixth grade, I worked at my dad's temporary employment agency.  During high school I worked full time in the summer and part time during the school year.  During my senior year, I got out of school at noon and went to work for the rest of the day.  I actually got school credit for "work experience."  I had excellent grades and plenty of credits, so I didn't care about getting credit for working.  I did care about earning money and I was able to save enough to pay for much of my college expenses.  I also had enough extra that I could afford to shop at Nordstrom.  I still remember a beautiful ivory linen suit that I bought there. 

Do I miss being a Nordstrom shopper?  Well,  I miss the personal service I received and the high quality clothes I purchased.  But I have never regretted giving up my career to give my full time and attention to my children.  Now I could shop at Nordstrom regularly if I really wanted to.  But I'd rather save for travel and other experiences with my husband and children.  Besides, a Nordstrom Rack opens next month just a few miles from my house!

50 Years

Today is the 50th anniversary of my parents' wedding.  Mom and Dad were married young, although they were childhood sweethearts so they weren't as young as they might have been!  Mom was 20 and Dad was 22 and a recent convert to the church.  He had been baptized 11 months earlier and was the only member in his family.

Mom came from an LDS family, but most of her family were not able to go to the temple at that time.  They were married in the St. George temple with just a few family members there.  I could show you a professional photo of the temple, but it is fun to see the pictures they took.  

 

After their sealing, they drove back to Las Vegas for their wedding reception.

They stayed at LaConcha Inn that night.

Then they headed out for Salt Lake.  Dad had started feeling sick on their wedding day and by the next day he was really sick.  He laid in the back seat of the car while Mom drove the whole way.  Not a very romantic beginning for their honeymoon.  By the time they got to Salt Lake City, Dad was really sick and had strep throat.  He had to get penicillin to treat it.

The "fun" continued as they traveled to Yellowstone to camp.

They saw lots of bears and Mom loved rolling down the car window just a bit to feed marshmallows to the bears.  Her tune changed a little later.  Mom was at their campsite while Dad was somewhere else.  She had some pork chops she was going to cook for dinner.  A bear decided he wanted them, but Mom wasn't going to give them up without a fight.  She ran around trying to get away from the bear and finally climbed up on a table and started crying.  Some men had been sitting nearby and laughing at the scene, but they eventually came over and scared the bear away by banging on metal trash can lids.  The pork chops were saved and Mom and Dad survived their honeymoon, but Mom always told us, "Never go camping on your honeymoon!"

I love you Mom and Dad!  I am grateful for your eternal marriage and for your good examples of how to make a marriage work through thick and thin, five kids and 48 years!

June 30th

We had a good visit with my Dad and Carolyn as we started our trip to Utah.  Their home is lovely and they have done a wonderful job bringing together two households.  We got the full tour of the house and yard.
Their dogs even showed off the pool by taking a quick swim.

Carolyn made us a great lunch and then gave us plenty of snacks to take along on our road trip.

We enjoyed the candy rocks and the visit!

Father's Day

Since my dad is on vacation, I didn't get to spend Father's Day with him this year.  I miss him, but I know he is having a wonderful trip!  Evan spoke in Sacrament Meeting about the 3 P's of fatherhood (preside, provide and protect).  He gave a wonderful talk and told about John's dad who worked 2 jobs for 17 years to provide for his family.  He worked at the post office all day and then cleaned the bank in the evenings.  Sometimes he took his children along and they thought it was a special treat to get to help their dad.

After church we celebrated at home with all the Happy Hartz except Elder Aaron.  We made John some of his favorite foods and Molly made Ryan's favorite CPK-style salad. 

Our main course was Beef Stroganoff. I think I've made this once or twice during the past 25 years.  I rarely cook with beef.  In fact, the kids were amazed to see the steak I bought.  Here is the recipe I used from the Lion House cookbook.  It really is yummy.

Beef Stroganoff

1 clove garlic cut into quarters (I used more)
3 tablespoons olive oil
1 1/2 lbs lean round or sirloin steak cut into thin bite sized pieces (1 inch x 1/4 inch thick)
1/3 cup chopped onion
1 tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper
1/2 lb fresh sliced mushrooms
1/4 cup flour
2 cups milk
3/4 tsp paprika
1 cup sour cream
hot cooked egg noodles

Heat garlic in oil for a few minutes, then remove and discard garlic.  Add meat to skillet; brown slightly.  Add onion, salt and pepper.  Cover and cook for 35-45 minutes until meat is tender, turning occasionally.  Add more water as needed. Add mushrooms and cook until tender, about 10 minutes.

With slotted spoon remove meat and mushrooms.  Keep warm.  Blend flour into drippings in pan.  Slowly stir in milk.  Cook and stir over medium heat until mixture thickens.  Add paprika and stir. Add meat and mushrooms and sour cream.  Mix and heat well, but do not cook.

Serve over egg noodles.  Serves 6.

For dessert we had rice krispie treats and homemade rocky road ice cream. Here is the easy recipe we used.

Rocky Road Ice Cream

14 oz can sweetened condensed milk
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
2 cups heavy cream
1 cup light cream
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
3/4 cup chopped pecans
 1 cup mini marshmallows.

In medium saucepan over low heat, cook and stir condensed milk and cocoa until smooth and slightly thickened, approx 5 min.  Remove from heat and allow to cool slightly.  Stir in heavy cream, light cream and vanilla. Refrigerate until cool.

Pour mixture into ice cream maker and freeze according to directions.  Add nuts and marshmallows halfway through.  Yum!

Here we are after dinner.  He liked it!

 

John with all of our children and grandchildren (except Elder Aaron of course)

There are 10 of us now. We're getting to be quite a group!

 

We are happy to see Ryan being a good husband to Molly and father to his girls.

Now if we can just get him to stop these cheesy poses.

Lavender didn't get to taste any of the food on her first Father's Day, 

but she did find something else yummy--her thumb!

Hope you and yours had a wonderful Father's Day!

Lavender's Blessing Day

April 7th was a perfect Saturday! We had beautiful, warm weather and most of our family gathered together for Lavender's blessing.  I was especially grateful that my brothers traveled long distances to be with us on this special day.

First we got our sweet girl dressed.

 

This slip was made by Grandma Anne nearly 16 years ago for Marianne's blessing.

This quilt was also made by my mom.

 

She was covered in lace and ribbons from head to toe

She looks beautiful, but not too happy!

We had a little mother daughter talk (and a drink of milk) before heading downstairs.

 

 

It must have worked because she didn't make a peep during her blessing.

Afterwards she fell asleep.

 

Her Daddy gave her a lovely blessing, surrounded by all these priesthood holders who love her.

Uncle Brian, home teacher Br. Warren, Bishop Mendenhall, Uncle David, Daddy with Lavender, Uncle Scott, Uncle Jason, Grandpa Bob and big brother Ryan.

After the blessing, we ate a great lunch (Thanks Marianne, Denise and Carolyn!)

and then visited Mom's grave at the cemetery.

That evening we headed to the Stake Center for my niece Cammi's baptism and confirmation.

We are a happy family!

Aaron's Birth

Shortly after Aaron was born, I wrote about his birth and how I prepared for it.  I mention this so you will know I am not relying on 20 year old memories to tell this story.  Nor have I  have conveniently "forgotten" the pain over the years.

With the exception of a minute or two, Aaron's birth was in fact, pain-free.  Really.  The whole labor and the delivery.  Yes, I felt pressure and I was uncomfortable at times, but I wasn't in pain.  How did this happen?

 Preparation!

Well before Aaron's birth I began working to deal with my fears, to free myself from the need to be in control, to forgive myself and others (remember that rude nurse I told you about last time) and to develop trust in my current doctor, the nurses and my own body.

I am blessed to have parents who believed in the possibility of a pain-free birth and who knew how to help me emotionally heal from the previous birth and prepare for the upcoming one.  Working with my parents helped to calm and prepare me.  I knew I needed to change my mindset and think of contractions as "work" rather than "labor pains."  I prepared a list of things to say to myself during labor and I reviewed them each night. 

 I also prepared by practicing relaxation techniques and labor positions with my husband for several weeks before I had the baby.  My natural inclination was to tighten up when I felt a contraction, so I needed to learn to relax the rest of my body during a contraction.

 Aaron was really a very considerate baby.  He came about 8 days early and he got his dad out of a rather boring business meeting!  I had lots of irregular contractions and other signs of impending labor (remember, I promised nothing graphic).  The next day I knew it was the  baby's birthday!  All day long I had regular (but painless) contractions and I worked to look forward to every contraction and how I was a little closer to having my baby.

During this time I also turned everything over to God.  John gave me a beautiful  priesthood blessing that helped me feel peaceful and confident.

 When we went to the hospital about 5 PM, I was only dialated to 4 cm and they wanted to send me home.  I looked so calm that they couldn't believe I was really in labor.  I convinced them to let me stay and my doctor came and broke my water.  Of course the contractions became stronger, but I was fine as I quietly repeated aloud all the affirmations I had prepared.  From 6:30 to 7:30  I was in transition.  I layed on my left side listening to soothing music that I had listened to during my relaxation practice.  John put his hands on my back to support me.  He reminded me to relax and let the contractions do their work.  He encouraged me and told me that every contraction was one less I needed to have.  I continued repeating the things I had practiced.

 What helped me the most was to remember that the Savior had already suffered the pain of birth.  I told myself that Jesus Christ loved me and did not want we to suffer and that I could turn it over to Him.  I said this aloud too.  I only felt pain at one time when I changed my position and I let some fear creep in.

 At one point the nurse checked me and said I was at 8 cm and hadn't progressed at all since the last time she checked.  I quickly forgave her because I knew I was progressing.  I continued to visualize my body preparing for birth.  Five or ten minutes later I was ready to push.  The nurse was disbelieving and hesitated, but John insisted she get the doctor.  After about 5 minutes of painless pushing, our baby was born.  I was so excited that his birth had been a beautiful, positive experience.

 Although I never had an ultrasound during my pregnancy, I was sure that our baby was a girl.  When the doctor said, "It's a boy!"  I was so surprised that I turned to John and asked, "Is it really a boy?"  Everyone must have thought I was crazy. 

 During the pregnancy, we spent a lot of time discussing names for our baby girl.  One day I thought we should choose a boy's name, just in case.  Suddenly the name Aaron James came into my mind.  It surprised me because I had never particularly liked the name Aaron.  But John immediately agreed and we wrote it down.  So when Aaron was born, I asked John, "Do you still want to call him Aaron James?"  We both felt like it was supposed to be his name.  I have always felt like it was a name I received through revelation.

 Lessons I learned from Aaron's birth:

• Birth doesn't have to be a painful experience
• Labor is work, like running a race, but there is a wonderful prize at the finish line
• Forgiveness, trust and gratitude bring the Spirit
• Preparation brings peace
• Rely on the Lord in all things

Fill in the blanks

My Mom taught my brother Scott and I to say "I'm sorry" and "I forgive you" at a very young age.  These statements had to be made sincerely and followed with a hug.  Later my Dad taught us how to deal with stress and pain by forgiving others.  He told us to follow this formula:  say "I forgive  [name of person] for [whatever happened],"  Sometimes this was a process that started with "I forgive Joe for being a total jerk and stupid idiot" and progressed to "I forgive Joe for hurting my feelings when he teased me about my new haircut."  Even better was when you could finally add, "I'm grateful to Joe for being my friend."  (For the record, no one named Joe ever teased me about my hair.)

So the pattern is:  I am grateful to _______________  for _______________.
Today I want to fill in the blanks by sharing a few of the people I am thankful for and why.

I am grateful to:

Brooks for making the most comfortable shoe on earth (even if it is ugly).
My mom for being steadfast and immovable in her testimony of Jesus Christ..
Bryn for her great faith.
John for holding my hand and walking beside me for almost 25 years.
My body for allowing my worst pregnancy complications to be only heartburn and aches and pains.
Evan for his enthusiasm and energy in playing the piano.
Heather for her endurance and sense of humor.
Muff (and her family) for caring for grandma as she approaches 90.
Molly for starting the family tradition of walking lots of miles while pregnant.
Aaron for giving up solitude and the great outdoors in order to serve the Lord.
Carolyn for lifting my Dad from the pit of loneliness.
Amazon for making the Kindle so I can carry my library with me at all times.
Marianne for getting up for seminary day after day even when she hasn't slept well.
Cows for making milk that becomes cottage cheese.  (I'm still craving it!)
Mormon for abridging and organizing the Book of Mormon.
Moroni for not making Ether the last book in the Book of Mormon.
Ryan for being my guinea pig and letting me practice my momskills on him.
Brianne for looking like her daddy, but improving on it with her curly hair.
My Dad for always believing in me.
Costco for selling beautiful flower bouquets at a great price.
Sheree for being my example and showing me what is possible.
The calendar for telling me that Christmas is almost here!
Leighton Anne for sharing her sweet smiles with me.
Jenny for walking thousands of miles with me over the past 15 years.
Everyone who actually reads my blog!
My Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ for all of the above and for many more blessings I didn't mention.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Angels Did It!

Although we are missing our wings and halos (and Brenda!) in this photo, we are still Annie's Angels and together we raised $12,255 to fight against breast cancer!  We are still accepting donations, so it's not too late to help out.

It was a tough 3 days with not enough sleep, too many porta-potties, lots of blisters and very sore muscles, but it was worth it!  We joined 3,600 walkers in San Diego and we raised a total of $9.2 million to defeat breast cancer.

I stuck with my plan to walk about 10 miles a day for a total of 30 miles.  At times it was hard to leave my team and take a shuttle to lunch, but I know it was the right thing to do.  My back hurt during the walk and I had Braxton-Hicks contractions (the first of my pregnancy) so I know I needed the rest during lunch.  I usually waited about 2 hours for my team, but it gave me a chance to meet so many great people and hear some wonderful stories.  Telling people that I was 6 months pregnant was a great ice-breaker.  There weren't too many pregnant moms on the walk!

One of the sweetest stories I heard was from a woman from Colorado.  She was walking in honor of a friend with breast cancer.  She had been training for 7 months and was so excited.  On the first day she fell off a huge curb (some of them were over a foot high!) and sprained her ankle.  She kept walking and ended up injuring her other leg in an effort to compensate.  That evening the medical staff told her she shouldn't walk any more.  She was crushed to have to give up her dream.  Her husband went out and rented a wheelchair so he could push her the rest of the way.  She started crying as she told me about it and I was really touched.

I met many other women who lost their mothers to breast cancer and walked in their memory.

Crowds of people cheered for us along the way.  They played music for us, sang, danced, offered gifts, candy, water and kleenex.  Some cute Girl Scouts even gave me a sleeve of thin mints which we enjoyed for our FHE snack tonight.  On Saturday John, Marianne, Evan, my Dad and Carolyn came to cheer us on.  They walked with us for a mile or so and it really lifted my spirits to see them.

The crew at camp was fantastic.  They fed us and took good care of us.  They even found the money and credit card I dropped!  However, I do not regret our decision to stay in a hotel.  It was worth every penny sleep in a real bed and have a real bathroom after a long day on our feet.

I am grateful for my experience on the Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure Walk. Hugs to my fabulous teammates and thanks to everyone who donated!  Most of all, I send my love to the three women I walked to honor:  my mom who was a 15 year breast cancer survivor, my grandma who at nearly 90 is still going strong after defeating breast cancer, and my daughter Marianne who I pray will someday live in a world without cancer!

Our Annie's Angels theme:
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.               2 Timothy 1:7

Wild Weekend #2

Okay, maybe our weekend wasn't exactly wild, but it was very busy with some important events.  Saturday morning we had over 30 people at our house for the blessing of Leighton Anne.

She was given a beautiful blessing by her father.

Here is her cute family!

She was fortunate to have many family members there for this special day.

  She even had two great-great grandparents there!

Here she is with her father, grandma (yes that's me!), great grandpa (my dad) and great-great grandma (my mom's mom)

After the blessing and lunch, we headed to the temple for the 

sealing of Dad and Carolyn.

Here they are with my grandma and Carolyn's mom.

My dad says it is a picture with his two mother-in-laws.

Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures of them at the wedding or reception, but it was a lovely day.  Here is a picture of Carolyn's bridal bouquet as proof.

Our Weekend (and beyond)

Friday
Evan sang with the San Diego Mormon Choir and Orchestra. The musicians were fabulous, including the soloists on flute, banjo, cello and bagpipe.  What a show!  If you are local, I hope you'll have a chance to see them next year.  Learn more about SDMCO here.

Saturday
We did lots of laundry, shopping and packing for Aaron. That evening we had our ward fall festival.  It was a great party with chili, gourmet popcorn and lots of dessert (although I was too full to try any).  The kids had a blast with the games.  Here are Marianne's cute mini cupcakes for the cakewalk.

Sunday
We had Aaron's "not a farewell" at church.  He spoke mainly about the temple.  Since early September he has been able to work at the temple twice a week.  It has been a very sacred experience for him and he was sad to see it end.  After church, Aaron was officially set apart as a full time missionary for the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  Our Stake President asked us to share things we admire about Aaron.  Some of his strengths are: peacemaking, obedience, desire to do what is right and an ability to see the beauty in nature.

After the dinner requested by Aaron, we celebrated my Dad's birthday.  He claims he is only fifty-three, but I'll let you count the candles.

Everyone agreed the cake was delicious!

Here are the men of the day (Aaron and his Grandpa)

  With the two newest members of the family (Leighton and Carolyn)

Monday
Aaron got our computers in tip top shape and we had a day full of more last minute chores. We had a great time laughing and joking together.  The checker at Wal Mart even told us what a cute family we had. Then she added, "Someday you'll even have grandchildren." She was surprised when we told her we already have two.  We decided not to completely shock her by telling her we have our own baby on the way too.  John and the boys took their bikes up the mountain for a last run down.  Aaron was excited to have broken his record with a time of 4 min 27 sec.  I was just relieved he didn't break anything else. Aaron bid a final farewell to his favorite restaurant as we ate dinner at Chipotle.

Tuesday
After goodbyes to Ryan, Molly, Brianne and Leighton (and a quick stop at the barbershop!) we headed to the airport.

Roxy will really miss Aaron too!

Good byes at the airport

It will be fun to compare the height difference in two years!

We love you Aaron!