How many times have you been to "The Happiest Place on Earth?" One trip to Disneyland always stands out in my mind. We were there to visit with John's Dad who happened to be in town. We took our little boys swimming in the hotel pool and were chatting out in the courtyard. Just then a man approached us asking for help. He said that his family had come on a trip to Disneyland and had spent most of their money on tickets etc. They were just getting ready for their trip home when their car broke down. He said he could make the repair, but didn't have the cash for the needed part. He showed John a price list from a local auto parts store. It had the necessary part circled with the price underlined.
I was busy holding my baby and watching my toddler son, but something struck me as false about the man's story. Then I noticed that he had four Disneyland tickets in his shirt pocket. The tickets were arranged very carefully so that you could see 2 adult tickets and 2 child tickets. Tickets don't arrange themselves like that. I suspected that the tickets were taped together and carefully placed to give credence to the man's story.
John's Dad must have doubted the man's story, but he still wanted to help. He offered to go with the man to the auto parts store and buy the part. The man refused his offer and only wanted cash. Then he started to get angry and finally left.
It really bothered me that the man was trying to scam us. Likely, John or his Dad would have given him a few dollars if he had just asked for money, but no one likes to be lied to or manipulated.
A few weeks ago, I saw a thirtysomething man near a freeway entrance. He appeared to be in good health and was holding a sign that said:
SUFFERS MENTAL ABUSE. PLEASE GIVEWhat exactly did he mean? I wanted to roll down my window and ask him a few questions. Who was abusing him? Did he really mean "mental illness" or did he just choose these words thinking they would evoke sympathy? I got my answer a week later when I saw the same man at the same corner. This time he had a different sign:
OUT OF WORK. PLEASE GIVE.I still had questions, but the light turned green before I could ask or give.
Later that day I was in a different part of town and I saw another thirtysomething, healthy looking man holding a sign. His read:
WILL WORK FOR BEER. PLEASE GIVE.I laughed out loud. If I had been the driver, I might have stopped to "give." I appreciate honesty and a good laugh!
My question for you is: How do you handle people looking for a handout? When do you give?
5 comments:
We have the same panhandlers in RB every day. And just down the street we have the group of Hispanics waiting to be picked up for jobs. I figure if these panhandlers really want money they'll go stand by the Hispanics and get a day labor job. I believe in work and for those who honestly can't work we have government programs in place to help them, like welfare. There isn't any reason these people should be begging for money.
Both of us give. Almost always and without question. If I see them often, I'll go and buy food and give. I err on the side of "one of the least of these" more often than others, but I never feel badly about it. If out of 99 times, 98 of them abuse what was given, that is on them. I did my part and am buoyed by the one.
We had a practicing doctor in Denver go to jail for panhandling and making his kids stand on the corner with him Saturday mornings. He was making $800 a day panhandling. My pity for panhandling dropped to zero that day.
I don't feel bad not giving. That is what all those extra boxes on the tithing slip are for. Then I know it's going to someone who truly needs it. I hate trying to judge who needs it and who doesn't and I don't want to risk my money going to someone who is going to use it to get themselves or other people in trouble or harm, whether or not it is by design. If your going to do something, I would say buying a meal is much better than giving money. I have a friend that gives out McDonald gift certificates.
My dad gives out quarters. I give spare change. I won't lie, definitely thought about going out there myself. The regular panhandlers in Carmel Mtn and RB live with a lady in my complex. I see them almost daily riding their bikes to "work". I feel that I should give what I can whenever I can and as the spirit directs. We never know what anyone will do with it. That's the motto of the storehouse. They don't judge who gets what. They just give what the bishops direct.
I'm a little late chiming in on this...but I like to ask questions too. I talked to a healthy looking 30ish woman outside Temple Square who was begging. I told her the church would help her with food and shelter. I offered to walk her over to the Relief Society building and find out which ward was closest. She told me she was homeless and had two kids. I asked where the kids were and she said they were in school. It was all pretty sketchy and she seemed anxious to end the conversation. I want to "turn not away the beggar" but I like to really help and not be scammed. It's a tough call sometimes.
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