Why, Oh Why?

This little girl LOVES to ask, "Why?" and she does it over and over.   It used to drive me crazy with my older kids, but with Lavender it usually just makes me laugh. I know that inquisitiveness is a good quality. In fact, it's how we learn!  Especially when we ask the right questions and listen for answers.

We recently had a training meeting with the incredible mentors from our commonwealth school (homeschool group) and we discussed the power of questions.  Here are a couple of quotations that may give you food for thought or perhaps lead you to ask, "why?"

Questions can linger in our hearts and in our minds in very useful ways, all the while inviting us to see things we haven't before. Have you ever noticed that question marks are shaped like hooks? That's because questions come with that little hook at the end; they hook thoughts and feelings and possible actions. One question can pull all of that into your heart and mind. That's a pretty powerful hook!    - Wendy Watson Nelson, "Asking for Questions"

There are tactical advantages as well as spiritual advantages that can accompany inspired questions. In a modern metaphor that you’re familiar with, inspired questions put the ball on the other side of the net, leaving people free to respond without our being unduly pressing or aggressive. Others may not respond, of course. Nevertheless, the invitations are clearly there, for quality questions linger, especially if they are asked in love. - Neal Maxwell, "Jesus the Perfect Mentor"

What questions do you have?  Where do you find the answers?  And do you have any suggestions on how to teach my toddler to stop tormenting the dog?!

Growing Pains

Our baby girl likes to show us how grown up she is these days.  

Here she is helping to make our favorite breakfast--green smoothies.

She even insisted that she was big enough to try this out.

But nearly every day she reminds us that at eighteen months, she is still just a toddler who needs plenty of help.  It may look like she's just playing in her cute little rocking chair that we originally bought for baby Marianne.

Actually she is stuck!  I couldn't help but laugh a little at her predicament.  Fortunately, her big brother was right there to rescue her (while mom was busy taking pictures).

Fifteen and A Half

We have another driver in the family! Evan was at the DMV this morning and passed the test to get his driver's permit. This afternoon he had his first lesson (CA law requires it) and the driving instructor congratulated us on doing such a fine job teaching him. Umm, we've never actually taken Evan driving, but he's listened to us teach three older siblings. Does that count? He also has a big brother who lets him drive occasionally.

Update:  I have now crossed number twelve off this list.

Example is Contagious!

Today, on Labor Day, it seems appropriate to talk about one of the most labor-intensive, time-consuming, jobs ever.  Did you guess I'm referring to parenting?  It isn't easy, but it is very rewarding, especially by the time the grandchildren come around!

I am blessed to have wonderful parents who modeled good parenting for me.  They weren't perfect, but they set a good example.  Yet, there are new challenges today that they didn't really have to deal with.  There is no doubt that children today will be exposed to pornography.  It isn't a matter of "if," rather "when" they will encounter it.  What's a parent to do?  Worry?  Pray it never happens?  Hide the computer/ipad/phone?

Author Jill Manning has a better approach.  She recommends the following 6 steps whenever you accidentally encounter pornography:

1.  Name it.
2.  Cover your eyes/ears as quickly as possible.
3.  Identify the lie and opposing truth about sexuality.
4.  Tell a parent about your experience as soon as possible.
5.  Turn to something positive, uplifting and wholesome to refocus your mind, body and spirit.
6.  Learn from your experience and identify ways it might be avoided in the future.

She advises teaching our children these 6 steps and then showing them how it works.  Imagine a scene at the dinner table.  Dad says,

"Today on my flight home, I glanced over at the guy sitting next to me and I realized he was looking at something inappropriate on his ipad.  I immediately realized it was pornography and I looked away. I got up and was able to find another seat a few rows back.  I knew that he was looking at the women on the screen as objects, not as daughters of God.  I decided to listen to some beautiful music and I thought about each of you and how wonderful it would be to see you all tonight.  If something like that happens again, I think I will ask the guy to stop watching it on the plane where other people can't help but see it."

We may not want to have these types of conversations with our children, but talking about it takes away secrecy that often plays a role in pornography addictions. In today's media-filled world, it is inevitable that our children will see pornography and they need to learn healthy ways to deal with it.

Jill Manning gives more support and suggestions for parents in her book, What's the Big Deal about Pornography? I have an extra copy or two to give away.  If you would like one, please leave me a comment.

A little knowledge that acts is worth infinitely more than much knowledge that is idle.

-Kahlil Gibran 

HAPPY! birthday

My birthday was at the beginning of August and my family took good care of me.

Evan got the day started right by making crepes for breakfast. Actually, he made two kinds of crepes!  He made a small batch of gluten-free ones for me and a large batch of regular ones for the rest of the family. They were delicious with fresh fruit!

Molly made my whole week special by asking members of our extended family to write me a birthday wish. Every day she emailed me letters from a few of my loved ones!

My sister Jenny said she would take me to see a Shakespeare play and she more than kept her promise. We saw a really fun musical version of A Midsummer Night's Dream and a few days later she took me out to lunch and to see a film version of Much Ado About Nothing.

John took some time off from work and we went out to lunch, walked along the beach and played frisbee in the sand and then went out to dinner.

When we got home, we found that Marianne had made yummy German chocolate cupcakes from scratch. My favorite flavor and gluten-free to boot!  I know they were a lot of work and it was even harder because Lavender really wanted to eat them all.  Marianne kept telling her that they were for my birthday and tried to teach her to say "Happy Birthday." Lavender got half of it right.  She did wish me "happy" when we got home.  Then she ran to the kitchen, frantically begging for cupcakes and shouting "happy, happy, happy." She seemed to think the cupcakes were called "happy."  Now, almost a month later, any time she wants a treat she still asks for "happy."  John brought home a big box of donuts yesterday and she was thrilled to have "happy" for dessert last night..  Guess what she wanted for breakfast this morning?

Do you like the way she is attacking that donut in the top picture?  She may not be smiling, but she is definitely HAPPY!

The Flight From Beauty

It is no secret that I love children's literature.  Long after my children were past picture book age, I kept shelves full of outstanding books.  I even have a few books saved from my own childhood.  Now I get to read them to my granddaughters and Lavender!

I also really enjoy young adult literature and when my children were little, I had a shelf full of books that I hoped they would enjoy reading some day.  Unfortunately, over the past fifteen years I have noticed a disturbing trend in YA literature.  It has become darker and more violent in the name of "reality."  Even books for young children have been impacted.  I have read a couple of articles about this trend, but I finally read a compelling article on this subject that I have to share with you.  Read "The Case For Good Taste in Children's Books" by Meghan Cox Gurdon HERE. She is a wise woman and she's got the experience and credentials to prove it.  More importantly, she is the mother of five children!  She also includes incredible quotes such as this:

For beauty makes a claim on us; it is a call to renounce our narcissism and look with reverence on the world. 

Waterbaby

This girl loves water, especially the ocean. Yesterday she had a new experience in Palm Springs--splashing in a puddle of rain water.  We also went swimming and she is able to grab onto the side of the pool and hold herself there.