Out With The Old

It's time to change out the quotes on my sidebar. I hope you'll enjoy the new ones I've added! But since the old ones are truly some of my "all time" favorites, I want to post them one last time and share my thoughts about them.

First are a couple of quotations about service. The one by Martin Luther King Jr. is one I have memorized and is probably my #1 favorite quote!

"One of the most beautiful compensations in life is that no person can help another without helping themselves" ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Everyone has the power for greatness, not fame but for greatness, because greatness is determined by service. " ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

I must have a lot to learn about leadership because I keep getting leadership opportunities along the path of my life. These three quotes by LDS leaders inspire me to be a better and stronger.

". . . these are the days in which a true leader wants to live. These are days when opportunities to change lives and even destinies are nearly endless. You were born to lead, and, in the words of Isaiah, you were born for glory (see Isaiah 62:2–3)." ~ Sheri Dew

"The leaders who have the most influence are usually those who set hearts afire with devotion to the truth, who make obedience to duty seem the essence of manhood, who transform some ordinary routine occurrence so that it becomes a vista where we see the person we aspire to be." ~ Thomas S. Monson

The tilt of your soul now can further shape all the days that follow! If you become too insulated, too encrusted, too self-contained, too self-concerned, those patterns will end up constraining you like invisible barriers and borders in the days and years ahead. Stretch. Reach for that kind of developmental discipleship that will take you beyond where you thought you could go. ~ Neal A. Maxwell

Next is my favorite quotes to share with youth. I wish that every young man and woman realized that NOW is the time to prepare for the mission God has planned for him or her!

"To every man there comes a time…, that special moment when he is figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered the chance to do a special thing, unique to him and fitted to his talent. What a tragedy if that moment finds him unprepared or unqualified for the work which would be his finest hour." ~Winston Churchill

Finally, here are a couple of short quotes that make me smile!

"The world is but canvas to our imaginations." ~Thoreau

"If you don't get everything you want, think of the things you don't get that you don't want." ~ Oscar Wilde

What is your favorite quote? I'd love to add to my collection.

Absolutely Nothing to do with St. Patrick's Day

Yesterday I finished Wallace Stegner's Angle of Respose and it got me thinking about marriage, love and Visiting Teaching.

Years ago, I visited a young woman about my age. She was the mother of 4 little girls and each one had a different father. But things were looking up. She had a temple marriage with her 3rd husband. He was a great guy and they were active in the church. He was a good father to the girls and you never would have guessed that only one of them was "his".

Then one day she shared some concerns with me. Her husband didn't seem as attentive as usual and she thought something was wrong. Then she leaned in close and said knowingly, "Sometimes he doesn't even put his arm around me during the night."

I just sat there blinking and trying to think of something to say. I had only been married a few years and I didn't feel qualified to give marital advice. Besides, there were lots of nights when my husband slept with his back to me! I tried to reassure her that everything would be okay, but she seemed to have convinced herself that her marriage was over. It wasn't too surprising that a year later, it was.

Around the same time I visited a lovely young woman who was a recent convert. She and her "husband" had been together for years and had 3 children, but they weren't actually married until just before her baptism. The bishop had married them, but then she'd never turned in the paperwork to the state, because then she couldn't get welfare benefits. Her husband was a truck driver and was gone much of the time. One day she tearfully confessed that she was worried about her husband. I felt relieved because this time I had an older companion with me. Unfortunately, my relief turned to horror as my companion began asking many prying questions and encouraged her to share the gory details and evidence of her husband's infidelity. I made excuses about the time and quickly got my companion out the door while giving the sister a quick hug.

My visiting teaching assignment was changed soon afterward, but the woman quietly told me her husband was repentant and she was willing to forgive him. The family was still happily together several years later when they moved from the area and I received Christmas cards from them for a number of years.

I had forgotten about these "exciting" visiting teaching visits, until I read Angle of Repose. I expected historical fiction. Instead, I encountered a tragedy. I like tragedies because they make me think. They keep me awake at night, wondering.

Angle of Repose, like any good tragedy, left me with a bunch of unanswered questions. Why does one marriage fail when another remains strong? Why are some people able to forgive serious betrayals, while others can't live with minor inconsistencies? Why does one couple divorce on a whim, while another couple chooses to live parallel lives in a loveless marriage?

I certainly don't have all the answers, nor do I want to give marital advice. But I do have a few thoughts, and hopefully I've learned a little bit in nearly 23 years of marriage.

1. Every marriage is the union of two flawed and imperfect people.
2. An enduring marriage is an exercise in forgiveness.
3. Communion is the secret ingredient in a happy marriage.

What is communion? It's more than I can possibly list in a blog post: sweet memories, photo albums, laughter, teasing, a weekend getaway, kisses, planning a trip together, going to the temple . . .

Truman Madsen describes communion as being much more than communication. He says, "being soul to soul, even for brief time, goes a long way. A taste is quite enough to put a new color on the world; make the drudgery worth it and still worth it. Memory and anticipation merge in your consciousness. It is amazing how much else you can lack or never get around to; how little else you actually need. It keeps the ship of marriage afloat and moving. But I submit that if this is lacking (or as it lags or slumps toward zero), the oil of gladness is gone. The frictions groan and stick and jam up, and then words are quiet impotent."

As my husband likes to say, he's not a man of many words, but fortunately he's really good at forgiveness and communion.

Burnin' Birthday

We celebrated Ryan's birthday on Sunday and I think Evan may have given him the best present of all. He strategically placed each candle to obtain the maximum flame. Ah, isn't it heartwarming to see two brothers sharing their love of fire?

Notice that grin on Evan's face?
Ryan and Aaron had exactly the same smile.
Where did I go wrong?

Examples

Evan received the Aaronic priesthood on Sunday and was ordained a deacon. In preparation for this event, I emailed each of the priesthood holders in our family, asking him to write a letter. I suggested he could share memories of being a deacon or explain his feelings about the priesthood to Evan.

After a few reminder emails (and even a bit of last-minute nagging) my inbox was filled with some amazing letters! Some were filled with wise advice, some included scripture references and quotations and some were funny. My brother Jason sent such a detailed letter, even listing the duties of a deacon, that it would make a perfect family home evening lesson! My brother-in-law Mark even sent a photo of himself at age 12. My sister-in-law Susan took the time to write a letter about Evan's Grandpa who passed away a few years ago. It was especially fun to read the letters from Evan's slightly older cousins who are still deacons and teachers. All of the letters were different, but each one was heartfelt and perfect!

Once I had all the letters, I went online to Snapfish and made a book. I found a photo of each priesthood holder and included it next to his letter. On the last page, I included Evan's line of priesthood authority that goes back to the Savior.

On the Sunday before his birthday, Evan had his interview with the bishop. When we came home, we gave him his photo book. He was pretty amazed by it and spent the afternoon reading through all the letters.

It is great blessing for Evan to have so many priesthood holders in his family. I am grateful to each of them for taking the time to write a letter. And more importantly, for being a good example to him!

Marianne is an inch or two taller than Evan,
but he stood on tiptoe for this photo.
Let's hope he always remembers to
stand a little taller!

My Favorite Recipe

Can we chat for a minute? I know that all of us feel "Down" from time to time. But sometimes it's even worse than that! Have you ever been depressed? Let's have a show of hands. If I could look out through my screen, I suspect I'd see quite a few raised hands out there. Some of us have experienced mild or even severe depression. Sometimes it's "situational" where something bad happened to bring us down and sometimes we can't quite figure out why, but we have the blues nonetheless.

For most of my life, I've been able to pull myself up by my bootstraps and get back in the saddle pretty quickly. (Okay, I'm not Pioneer Woman, so I'll stop the cowboy analogies.) But over the past few years, it has taken much more work for me to overcome the down times. I almost hate to admit it, but I feel like this extra work is actually making me stronger. I didn't ask for it, and I don't especially like it, but hard work is good for me, right?!

I know that when we work hard, the Lord blesses us. Maybe not in exactly the way we asked, but often in an even better way. I was recently blessed to find something wonderfully inspiring. It's something I want to print out and keep in my scriptures, or put up on my fridge, or tape on my mirror, or tattoo on my . . . (wait, scratch that last one!)

This isn't a guilt trip or a list of ways to "cheer up", instead it is a two page recipe for choosing joy over depression! Like any recipe, it takes work. But the results are delicious!
To follow this recipe, you'll need to focus on specific choices in 4 dimensions:

• Thoughts
• Behavior
• Spirituality
• Relationships

Click here for my new favorite recipe by Carrie Wrigley.

You may not need it right now, but you never want to pass up a wonderful recipe, do you? Take a look, print it out, share it with a friend, or save it for later. Enjoy!

Our "Typical" Friday

Every so often, I am asked to describe a typical homeschool day. I hate that question, because each day is so different. Recently, my friend Shonda invited me to participate in a blog carnival to share "a day in the life" of a TJEd homeschooler. So I decided to follow her advice and just pick a day (March 5th) and see what happened! So here we go . . .

I wish I could say that we were all up at the crack of dawn, but Aaron (17yo) was the only early riser in our house today! He left the house before dawn for seminary (a religious education class) at church.

I waited until the sun was up before I headed out for a hike with my sister. Sadly, we were slower than usual because we haven't worked out in a while. When I got back home I found Evan (12yo) using the living room as a staging area for his latest building project with his Uberstix.

I ignored the mess, quickly checked my email and then roused Marianne (13yo) and Aaron who was back in bed. (Three days a week he takes community college classes, but not today, so he grabbed a quick "power nap" after seminary. Can you call it a power nap at 7:00 AM?!) My husband was on a conference call for work and quickly let me know that my "rousing" needed to be a bit quieter. Ooops! Sorry honey!

We gathered in the living room (sans Dad today) for scripture study. Aaron was under a blanket and Evan was attempting to multi-task by reading our latest arrival from paperback swap--a cool picture book about a young turn-of-the-century photographer named Jacques-Henri Lartigue.

After Aaron emerged from the blanket and Evan (sort of) put the picture book away, we took turns reading from the Book of Mormon. We read a couple of chapters and then had a short discussion. We talked about the power of forgiveness and the importance of pleasing God rather than man. The kids were done before I was, and they ended our discussion by pulling out the new book out to admire the photos.

After a fend-for-yourself breakfast and a few quick chores, I called Marianne and Evan down to get started. Yesterday was Vivaldi's birthday, so it was the perfect excuse to start our study of composers. I popped in a CD of The Four Seasons and we listened for a bit and then read about the life of Antonio Vivaldi. As we read and listened to the concerto, Evan’s parakeet began singing and we brought him in to join us. We decided the (still un-named) bird was definitely a fan of baroque music.

Next we spent some time with our latest read-aloud: The Yearling by Marjorie Rawlings. This is a classic I’ve never read, so I’m discovering it along with my kids. We laughed at how much Evan is like the main character Jody—a 12 year old boy who can starve to death between breakfast and lunch.

Evan is preparing for his Certificate of Merit testing on the piano, so he spent some time reviewing his theory and practicing while I helped Marianne get started on her math. I took a quick shower and got dressed while she studied.

Then Marianne practiced her flute and prepared for her CM testing on Saturday. Meanwhile, I worked with Evan on Right Start math. Then he asked me about the cuttlebone in the birdcage. Google came to the rescue and we learned a bit about the cuttlefish.

Then it was time for Evan, Marianne & I to jump in the car. We were invited to visit some longtime friends who recently moved back to town. We ate lunch, played croquet and tasted a cherimoya (yum!) from the tree in their backyard.

When we got home the kids finished up their math and Evan started on his model of the Eiffel tower. Frankly, he just spread pieces all over the dining room table, but he said he was starting! Marianne took a few pictures for her 2010 “photo a day” project and spent awhile longer on her flute. She wished she been able to take a picture of the cherimoya fruit and the giant Buddha we spotted in someone’s front yard. Aaron teased her that she should be more like Jacques-Henri Lartigue who carried his camera everywhere.

I asked Aaron about his day and he told me he finished his laundry and worked on an essay for his humanities class. He is also currently reading C.S. Lewis’ Weight of Glory and we spent a few minutes talking about one of the essays.

I was on the phone discussing mentoring at our commonwealth school (where I currently teach Shakespeare once a week) when my husband invited us on a spur-of-the-moment getaway. He had to work at a convention very early Saturday morning, so he decided to spend the night at a downtown hotel. Aaron didn’t join us because he had a date, but the rest of us jumped at the chance to go! We went out to dinner and visited the newly renovated Mormon Battalion historic site before checking into our hotel.

It was a beautiful evening, so my husband invited me to go for a walk. Evan said he needed to finish his physics homework and Marianne pulled out the Abraham Lincoln biography she’s currently reading. The kids deadbolted the door to our hotel room and John & I were off. I’d love to tell you that we returned to find them studying while listening to classical music. Actually, they were playing Evan’s Nintendo DS. And the good news is, they weren’t fighting!

The Edge

Evan turned 12 today.
He's right on the edge of childhood
and starting a climb
I'm not sure I'm ready for.

Fortunately he has good friends to
hang out with along the way
and his father and big brother
are there to lead the way and
help him along when the climb is tough.

I hope he'll keep a smile on his face
and a song in his heart.

I know he'll have many great
projects to tackle as he
continues to build and grow.

He'll have others who depend on him.
And he will learn to love those he serves.

Yes, Evan had a great birthday today! He made his own cake this morning and went to In-N-Out for lunch. This afternoon John and Aaron took Evan and two friends rock climbing. Evan got phone calls from his cousins, his grandparents, his brother Ryan and sil Molly, his cousin Josh and his buddy Matthew who moved last month. He loved all the building sets he got, but it was the new DS game that captured his attention tonight. Although he didn't get the field sparrow he's been asking for (and trying to trap), he did get a great surprise from the Bakers and Grandma and Grandpa--a beautiful blue parakeet. He's still working on a name.

Would you like to cast your vote to help him choose?

• Calvin
• Hobbes
• Apollo
• Jeffrey/Jeff
• Scott/Scotty
• Charlie