For the weekend

I have been trying to get a blog post together for over a week now . . . sigh!

Until I succeed, here is some great writing from my kids:

Marianne wrote an inspiring post HERE

Evan has started a fun, new blog about Doctor Who.  Check it out HERE

Lavender hasn't done any writing, but she is a fabulous smiler!  In other big news, she happily took a bottle before bed last night so I could go out for the evening!

Have a happy weekend!

Twenty Five

Today is our 25th wedding anniversary! 

 You can read the story of how we met HERE.  

We wish we were in Hawaii celebrating, but that will have to wait for another year.  Meanwhile, here are a few things I love about my wonderful husband.

1. John loves to travel and plan vacations.

We had been married a year or so when John mentioned that he would love to visit Japan.  He loved living there while serving as a missionary, but now it seemed unlikely that he would be able to return.  Travel was so expensive and John doubted we would ever be able to afford it.  I gave him a pep talk and told him he needed to believe in his dreams and make it happen!

Sure enough, we did visit Japan several years later.  Since then we have traveled many places together:  Oregon, Arizona, Mexico, Chicago, New Orleans, Washington D.C., Florida, Pennsylvania, New York, Idaho, Nevada, Utah, Wyoming, Canada, Puerto Rico, Italy, France, New Zealand and Australia.  He finds every discount possible and keeps travel costs very low. 

I am grateful for the time we have spent together while traveling and the many wonderful places we have been able to explore.  We have so many wonderful memories.

2.  John is athletic and active.

I have always been uncoordinated and a bit of a couch potato.  John has always been an athlete.  Growing up, he loved golf and basketball.  I am still not an athlete, but John is good at getting me up and out of the house.  He has always enjoyed taking our family on walks. He takes us hiking or biking or weightlifting or to the park to play ball or frisbee.  Twenty five years later I love to walk and I walk more miles each week than he does!

I am grateful that all of our children are more coordinated than me!  They all enjoy being outside and active. Hopefully these healthy habits will continue for generations.

3. John is a good provider for our family.

John is a wise steward with our money.  He is careful not to overextend or overspend.  Despite economic downturns, declining real estate values, unemployment and unexpected expenses, we have always had everything we need and many extras as well.   See #1!

He has always been a hard worker and he is also very frugal.  Together these qualities have allowed me to stay home with our babies and to then homeschool our children.  Now we're back to staying home with the baby!  In my heart of hearts I have always been a mother.  I am grateful to have been able to devote my full attention to mothering.

4.  John is very patient and loving.

One of my favorite stories about John is how he spend weeks teaching me to play frisbee.  And yes, it really did take weeks!  When we were first married we went to the park every Saturday and a few weeknights.  John patiently taught me how to throw and catch a frisbee.  He didn't get frustrated with my wild throws.  It took a lot of practice and he was a patient teacher.

When I get stressed out or angry he is patient with me and helps me calm down.  He has always been a loving father and he is a wonderful grandpa.  Brianne's favorite person in our house is "Papa John."  She is disappointed if he isn't here when she comes over.  Hearing her yell "Papa" so enthusiastically is one of the cutest things I've ever heard!

I am grateful to have been married to such a patient and loving man for 25 years!

Just for fun, here we are in Hawaii 25 years ago.

Gotta love those shorts.

His were extra short and mine were extra long!

Happy Anniversary John! 

 I love you babe!

At Three Months

My mother had blue eyes.

My father, sister and brothers

Husband, children and granddaughters

Blue forward and back for generations.

Her blue eyes were not a surprise.

Seconds after birth

She laid on my chest

I smiled into the deep blue

Through my tears.

Hours later

Inches from my face

Her steady, piercing gaze

Spoke to my spirit.

Days passed

And one blue eye

Peeked at me

The other tightly shut

As she latched, gulped and swallowed.

Weeks brought growth

Blue fringed by black

Fluttered at me.

Lips, gums and tongue

Formed a wide smile

Completed by twinkling blue.

A new month

Found salty drops

Pooled then splashed her cheeks

Her cries made urgent and convincing.

Spring ended and summer begun

A year gone by

Since dividing cells

Became flesh and bones

And eyes.

Now a lighter shade of blue,

They search with purpose

Making sense of her world

Vision more than sight,

A bridge between earth and heaven.

Lavender's Birth Story – The Sequel

I wrote about my pregnancy and the birth HERE and HERE.  So now it's time to share the rest of the story . . .

My newborn daughter was nestled high on my chest. I was overjoyed to be holding her, but I couldn't give her my complete attention. The placenta did not come out easily and that may have been the most painful part of the whole birth. I was relieved when it eventually emerged. The doctor finished stitching me up and the medical staff completed their work. I finally had my body back to myself! Well, to myself and my newborn daughter, but I had already been sharing it for the past nine months and she still seemed a part of me. She immediately proved to be a champion nurser, sometimes a bit too enthusiastic for my comfort, but very successful nonetheless.

Soon our family started to arrive and Marianne was there to photograph them all. What a joy to have my “only” daughter there to welcome my newest daughter. My sister Jenny went home and picked up Evan so that he could meet his new sister. Our oldest son Ryan and his wife Molly canceled a temple trip to visit us. I was sad that Aaron would have to wait 4 days until pday to hear about his beautiful new sister. My Dad drove from Murrieta to greet his 15^th grandchild. In fact, she was the 15^th grandchild on John's side as well. That seemed to be a good omen!

The good feelings started to fade a bit as I talked to my family. I started telling a story my doctor had shared with us. It was a good one—all about the rotten police officer who made her miss an emergency cesarean delivery. But something wasn't right. My brain or my mouth, or both, weren't working right. I couldn't think of the right words and when I finally did, I couldn't make my mouth say them. I don't think it was obvious to anyone else. It probably just sounded like I was speaking more slowly. I felt really stupid at first, then almost like my brain and body were shutting down. It really scared me. I quickly told John that I didn't feel good and I needed a blessing immediately. He anointed my head with consecrated oil and then, because he had already given me two blessings that day, he asked my dad to give the blessing. I know it was a spiritual experience for my father, but I have no idea what he said. I do know that I started to feel better almost immediately. Hours later, I realized I probably should have called the nurse, but in the moment my only thought was to ask for a priesthood blessing. Fortunately, I had no further problems and our sweet daughter seemed to be in perfect health.

And what would we name this precious girl? I wanted her to have a special name, one that fit her perfectly. Just a day or two earlier we had narrowed down our choices and John agreed with my favorite. We would make our final decision once we saw her in person. Now that she was here, we announced her unique name: Lavender Jane. I felt this was supposed to be her name, but I wasn't quite sure why. Lavender is a lovely flower and a beautiful color. My mom frequently wore lavender clothing and it reminded us of her. We chose the name Jane because it means “god is gracious” and is a feminine form of John. It is also seemed appropriate to name our daughter after my 3^rd great grandmother, Sarah Jane Murdoch and my favorite novel, Jane Eyre.

After 24 hours in the hospital we were ready to head home. Evan had assembled and installed our car seat, and without his help we couldn't figure it out. Finally I put Lavender in the seat, ignored the clips and buckles and covered her with a blanket. It was a short trip to our house and we were relieved to be home. Lavender brought a sweet, peaceful spirit to our home. I felt as if we were experiencing a bit of heaven. A day or two after we came home, I received more insight about her name. I was told that she was a healing balm to my soul. I am still discovering exactly what that means, but I immediately thought of the healing properties of lavender oil. I knew we had chosen the right name for our daughter.

John was able to take some time off work, and we spent much of it adoring and cuddling our lovely little daughter. What an incredible blessing for all of us. She was truly a gift from God. After so many years, our family finally felt complete.

It's Groovy Man!

Please join us for this FUN version of Shakespeare.  It is set in the 60s with hippies, protests, Beatles' songs and tie-dye!  Evan plays Bottom, the lead guitarist in the band who is turned into an ass after he falls in love.

We now interrupt . . .

. . . this regularly scheduled blog post all about my baby to bring you . . .

a shout out to visiting teaching!

I forgot my visiting teachers were coming last night.  I had just gotten my kids and husband off to YW/YM/Scouts when the doorbell rang.  I was trying to settle down my fussy baby and was annoyed to have to get up and answer the door.  I was surprised, but happy to see my visiting teacher.  She immediately took the baby and started walking, rocking, bouncing, soothing etc.  A few minutes later visiting teacher #2 arrived.  When I opened the door, she handed me a beautiful, fragrant loaf of homemade bread!

We had a good visit full of discussion about General Conference, birthdays, missionaries, Mother's Day and culture shock.  When they left, Lavender was asleep and I had a piece (or three) of bread and butter.  Ahhh!

What's your favorite kind of VT visit?

Lavender's Birth Story – The Prequel

I shared Lavender's birth story HERE, but now I want to share the story before the story.

It was a warm July day when our second son Aaron received his mission call. That same afternoon, I took a pregnancy test. I was more than two weeks late, something that had never happened except when a baby was on the way. But I was a 44 year old grandma, so a pregnancy seemed unlikely. I had ordered the test online, unwilling to go to the store in case I happened to run into anyone I knew. Neither John nor I were really surprised when the test result was positive. I was worried, but secretly thrilled. I had always felt that there was a child missing from our family, that we were supposed to have another baby. John never felt quite the same way. For years we discussed it and prayed about it, but could never come to an agreement. I had become pregnant once after Evan, and John and I were excited. When it ended in miscarriage, I was sure that we would try for another baby, but we didn't. I had never been “baby hungry,” but that feeling that there was one more had never gone away despite my pleadings with the Lord.

John and I were scheduled to leave on a wonderful trip in a few days. It would be just the two of us for nearly two weeks. We would spend a week in Puerto Rico courtesy of John's employer and then we would spend several days in New York City using John's hotel points. John was worried and wondered if we should still leave on our trip. We decided to go and have a wonderful time. We could think about the pregnancy when we got home. Our attempts at denial didn't work very well. I needed a nap every afternoon in Puerto Rico. Fortunately we had a luxurious bed at the San Juan Ritz Carlton. In New York I started to feel sick and the extreme heat didn't help. One night I sat up in bed when I was awakened by a voice calling “Mom!” At first I thought it was Marianne, but then I realized she was thousands of miles away. I wondered if something was wrong at home and if I should call in the middle of the night. Then it occurred to me that I had heard my daughter calling to me, but it wasn't Marianne.

Despite my morning sickness, we had a wonderful trip. When we returned home I took another test just to be sure. Then I called my doctor. She ordered blood tests and after getting the results she started me on progesterone. Everything seemed to be going fine until my 45^th birthday. That morning I got a call from the doctor's office asking me how everything was going. Was I having any bleeding or cramping? I was confused. The nurse explained that my follow up tests showed that the progesterone wasn't working and I was likely having a miscarriage. What a lousy birthday present.

A week later I had my doctor's appointment. I was a wreck. John came with me, not knowing what the news would be. The ultrasound showed a 10 week old fetus with a strong heartbeat. What a roller coaster of emotions. We really were having a baby!

Later in August we decided to tell our kids the news. We showed them the ultrasound pictures so they would have tangible proof. Evan was confused, Ryan was shocked and Aaron was sure we had photoshopped the pictures. Marianne was the only one who wasn't surprised. She had figured it out weeks earlier. She started naming off symptoms and evidence, finally asking her brothers, “Didn't you notice that Mom was in bed all the time?!” Apparently they just thought I was tired.

I decided it would be easiest to tell my extended family all at once. I sent everyone a text message telling them to check our family blog for a little surprise. On the blog I posted a video clip from Father of the Bride II. Then I included the ultrasound picture with a caption saying “Yes, this is real. No, it is not a joke. I am twelve weeks pregnant. We are having a baby at the beginning of March.”